Heidi Montag’s Playboy Cover

August 7th, 2009 // 136 Comments

Heidi Montag unveiled her new Playboy cover at the LA premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night which is smart considering it’s a film aimed at fanboys whose only sexual outlet is porn. However, it’s not so smart when you realize it’s also aimed at eight-year-old boys.

SPENCER: Psst. Hey. Hey, kid. Want to look at almost-naked pictures of my wife in a restroom stall?
KID: Not really. But you can.
SPENCER: What?! Gross.

Photos: Getty, WENN
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  1. Dread not

    So this is what Playboy has come to? It went from being THE premiere men’s magazine, where young women flocked in droves in hopes of being PRIVILEGED enough to be selected to pose nude. And the place where Hollywood actresses NEEDED to come when their careers were stalled, looking for a boost. Now, Playboy is allowing celebritards to dictate how they appear in the magazine? Wasn’t, Kim Krashthatassin “forced” to pose nude, or was that a sham to make it appear that Kim actually had integrity, so when she finally agreed to pose nude, it was because “she had to?” It’s a sad day in America, people. Hugh Hefner, it was good while it lasted.

  2. God

    I don’t approve the existence of these creatures.

  3. masera

    poo + montag = do not want

  4. Dread not

    Don’t get me wrong. I’d do Heidi like a mob snitch, no doubt. What I find hilarious is the “Huddle Up For Our Pigskin Preview” title. They are talking about the NFL and not Heidi, right? Hey, you never know.

  5. jt

    she is the ULTIMATE horse face. everything about this girl is fake, no wonder she is the most hated person on the planet. her husband is the ultimate loser as well. they better enjoy it, because their 15 minutes of fame is rapidly approaching it’s conclusion.

  6. sanasaa

    GOD it kills me to see Kurt Vonnegut’s name and her name anywhere near each other, it’s not like she knows who he is

  7. Will Playboy show her with her legs spread rubbing her love button. No?…Sorry, not interested.

  8. IM A SCATMAN.. bee ba ba bada bo

    Great. A hardcore Christian, almost naked, covered in sh*t, trying to look sexy.
    I’m sure Jesus would approve.

  9. Daryl G

    Playboy has been for faggots since 2005.

    Speaking of faggots, this is the same as the Jessica Alba issue, but just without the lawsuit.

    If you read/look at Playboy, then you’re a fucking retard. There’s FREE porn online. Tell Heff to fuck off with his senile bullshit.

    Hugh Heffner. Did youi expect anyone to be excited by images we’ve seen on free episodes of “I’m a Celebrity; Get Me Out of Here!!!!”?

    If so, then perhaps you should think about euthanasia.

    If that’s too complex for your flapper’s version of porn, perhaps you should just shoot yourself in the face.

  10. Rosy

    She is covered in spencers bean/cabbage shit in her playboy cover magazine.

    that is one nasty bitch.

  11. Oh look, Heidi Montag smeared with sh!t. That isn’t really that sexy…

  12. Eva

    Neiiiiigh.

  13. LAWDY,LAWDY...

    Why waste so much space on these two bottom feeders? When are those 15 fucking minutes going to be UP already????

  14. me09

    I THINK THEY ARE THE CUTEST COUPLE …A LIL ANNOYING BUT VERY CUTE AND VERY IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE PEOPLE …..GROW UP AND QUIT WISHING THEY WOULD DIE ..THAT IS EVIL …..I HOPE THEY ARE HAPPY AND LAST 4EVER !!!!!!!

  15. me09

    I THINK THEY ARE THE CUTEST COUPLE …A LIL ANNOYING BUT VERY CUTE AND VERY IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE PEOPLE …..GROW UP AND QUIT WISHING THEY WOULD DIE ..THAT IS EVIL …..I HOPE THEY ARE HAPPY AND LAST 4EVER !!!!!!!

  16. me09

    I THINK THEY ARE THE CUTEST COUPLE …A LIL ANNOYING BUT VERY CUTE AND VERY IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE PEOPLE …..GROW UP AND QUIT WISHING THEY WOULD DIE ..THAT IS EVIL …..I HOPE THEY ARE HAPPY AND LAST 4EVER !!!!!!!

  17. Dean

    She’s looks like a fox on that cover photo.

  18. Cowboy

    She needs to dump that useless metro sexual boyfriend for a Rodeo Cowboy.

  19. Pilatunes

    The great question of our time – who is worse, Spencer Pratt or Heidi Montag? What would DaVinci say?

    Yes, seriously, Playboy…you could find more female talent at my gym.

  20. DaVinci would be all over that like flies on shit. All over Spencer, I mean.

  21. Sprmcandy

    Filthy vile nasty nasty cuntress !!

  22. speidie Die

    If someone said to you, “Jesus wants you to pose naked, it’s okay…” would YOU believe them?

  23. Bim

    Don’t let Al see this…. lol
    sick of seeing these 2 fools

  24. All i have to say is DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!No One Gives A Shit About You Two!!!!!!!!!

  25. rena

    totally on my way to buy it, you all miss the important part,
    Kurt Vonnegut unpublished work.

  26. Caroline

    Where’s her tan? She’s definitely not as toned as she used to be; perhaps, she’s put on a few non-muscle pounds since leaving Costa Rica? The Christian Louboutin booties do not help her situation. Maybe it’s not the pounds but perhaps a stylist change would make for a fresher appearance.

  27. Mrs. B

    And she claims to be a Christian? Looks like the devil got a hold of her!!! She’s a stupid stupid girl!

  28. Mrs. B

    And she claims to be a Christian? Looks like the devil got a hold of her!!! She’s a stupid stupid girl!

  29. adam

    i wouldn’t fuck that bitch she looks disgusting i would never want to see her naked i probably go blind

  30. x

    I’d like to fuck them both. Simply because it’s raining and I’ve nothing better to do. Since no one has said it yet, Spencer is a pratt.

  31. Seriously, is this even her? Her face looks like a doll’s face. In most of the pics, it doesn’t even look like her, or anyone human for that matter.

    Playboy can work miracles with airbrushing.

  32. kayla

    seriously.. who would want to see someone naked like heidi.. its not even her its all fake and well that just proves she is a gold digger to pose namked when you rmarried! slut! hate that whore!

  33. tracy

    Some of you people are seriously sick in the head for the nasty disgusting thing you say you want to do to Heidi Montag. You sound like you haven’t gotten any in years too bad for you! As for Heidi she is cheap, has no self worth and will obviously do anything for the almighty dollar. What will they all do if they even make it into heaven without their notoriety and money cuz there aint none of that there! We are all going to be the same in gods eyes. So enjoy it now you fake, phony (money being their false god) trashy excuses for human beings. As for the stories of these stars constantly engaging in infidelity is sick and ignorant. I feel sorry for people who can’t stay true to their mate, they have no idea the kind of love and trust and friendship they are missing out on. Ignorant horny basterds. I can’t wait till these sort of people are judged. stars or not!

  34. tracy

    I didn’t know Heidi says she is Christian, omg is she in huge trouble. And all you other people that base so much on sex, what the hell is the matter with you people, are you really people or animals? Sex is a private thing and shouldn’t be talked about or bragged about or exploited. I hate our government right now and whats happening with this world today, but I do wish to god something devasting would happen to this world wide web, so that internet porn cannot ever be seen on the internet again and for that matter we would all be forced to adapt without it like older generations who never even had it did. guess what? omg they survived without the world wide web. By the way i am hardly ever on this stupid computer in fact this is the first comment i’ve ever even made in my 43 years. I’d love for all computers and databases to crash and burn. Then maybe people would spend more time with families istead of being fucking glued to a computer!

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