Heidi Montag’s Playboy Cover

August 7th, 2009 // 136 Comments

Heidi Montag unveiled her new Playboy cover at the LA premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night which is smart considering it’s a film aimed at fanboys whose only sexual outlet is porn. However, it’s not so smart when you realize it’s also aimed at eight-year-old boys.

SPENCER: Psst. Hey. Hey, kid. Want to look at almost-naked pictures of my wife in a restroom stall?
KID: Not really. But you can.
SPENCER: What?! Gross.

Photos: Getty, WENN

  1. jaffo

    Die in a fire already!

  2. Susan

    I think it’s hideous

  3. Hefe

    I hate this empty headed cunt.

  4. jaffo

    Die in a fire, already…

  5. dk

    She is absolutely disgusting! But for some sick reason I wanna split her asshole open and let her bleed all over my cock, then come on her face. Yeah, i need a therapist… * grabs lotion *

  6. Deacon Jones

    Playboy has officially jumped the shark

  7. Deacon Jones

    Playboy has officially jumped the shark

  8. i don’t think she looks nearly as retarded as she usually does. well played dumbass

  9. Upinya

    If people will quit paying attention to them, they will eventually just go away.

    And die in a fire.

  10. Dude

    Is she covered in poop?

  11. butthorn


    Nobody’s beat them to death yet.

  12. joejoe

    ho-k……ewww, i guess….is dirt ever a “good look” on someone?

  13. Name No

    This is the grossed Playboy cover ever. It honestly makes me want to throw up. NOTHING sexy about this. BARFFFFF.

  14. Peter

    Looks like they shrunk Heidi’s chin on the cover with Photoshop.

  15. This chick looks like Jay Leno with boobs. Her fucking face couldn’t be any uglier. I’d masterbate with sandpaper than have that nose and chin poking my choda.

  16. Zee Brat

    E! is being more classy about this. That’s pretty hard to accomplish. Stop posting about them. No one cares. No one.

  17. arealcad

    I’ll take Tera and Nautica instead instead of Scatgirl.

  18. Lalique

    Spencer’s bullshit could no longer be contained inside his body. He exploded and the bullshit splattered all over Heidi.

  19. Filth

    My distain for this hypocrit knows no end. She is covered in crap, standing in a bathroom stall. Why doesn’t someone just pee on her already?

  20. Hammertime

    Fish! I thought we agreed you wouldn’t post these fuckers anymore…

  21. Chupacabra

    1. gross.
    2. why hasn’t anyone shot them yet?
    3. the judge and jury would let the killer(s) go free.
    4. what are you waiting for?
    5. why didn’t that guy who went on a rampage at the LA Fitness just go over to their house instead – start there! NEXT CRAZY PERSON, start with these two. Please. We wouldn’t care at all.

  22. Name No

    I feel rage when I see these morons. Is that normal? I don’t even know them but I wish them hell.

  23. stupidass

    hmmm…this revolting , annoying, airhead, worthless bitch all covered in disgusting feces…..

    way to go! playboy nailed it.

  24. Charles Few

    Hm, photog had the good sense to get pictures of her with her hair covering her face at least.

  25. lizzy

    fucking absolutely HATE these two with every fiber in my body. they need to be dragged over broken glass and left to die IMMEDIATELY.

    you show up at a premier whoring yourself with your playboy cover? talk about no fucking self respect or dignity whatsoever.

  26. Name No

    I would rather see Susan Boyle nekkid.

  27. lesly

    She looks great, I would buy one! – datingsportsfans.com

  28. The Observer

    I would so enjoy murdering that guy about the head and neck, whoever he is.

    1) for banging that chick (whoever she is) whilst obviously a douche
    2) for wearing a pink shirt
    3) for wearing a cross while promoting playboy
    4) for having that face
    5) for having that hair

  29. LC

    look at that guy’s hair – you know he blows guys in bathroom stalls at the airport, just like Larry Craig

  30. ¡Cholula!

    Kill them with fire!!!

  31. Érico

    Is Spencer a fag or what?

  32. ¡Cholula!

    Kill them with fire!!!

  33. You know you’re pretty much a worthless talent hackjob when you have to promote your shit at another event, namely an opening to a movie like G.I.Joe. I guess Playboy couldn’t afford to hand out any barf bags with each issue of Playboy with the cover of Heidi.

    Hef should seriously be fucking ashamed of himself to allow this type of FAIL to happen.

  34. fearsarewishes

    @ 1 and the rest of you high school cunts.

    Ummm, like totally die in fire you epic fail posters!

    Meh. Like I am so totally like a sophomore this year!

  35. Lain

    Yeah, who is she? I don’t even find her attractive. And I heard she looked worse before. She looks like those high school girls who fix their hair and makeup, but at the end, they’re still unattractive! You know?

    And what sort of Jesus-lovimn’ bitch would pose for this? Regardless of whether she was nude or not, she’s a hypocrite.

  36. Name No

    Hopefully this will turn into a Star 80 type situation. Hef steals this broad for girls next door and Spencer kills everyone including himself.

  37. you said you were not going to report about them anymore. You didn’t keep your promise.

  38. boo

    Whenever I see her, I think that her unfortunate chin is simply the result of a swollen ingrown pimple that has yet to go away. I often get that sort of profile when a few days before my period.

  39. V

    She totally looks like she’s trying to suck in her stomach! She’s so not attractive & annoying!

  40. V

    She totally looks like she’s trying to suck in her stomach! She’s so not attractive & annoying!

  41. Reg

    When did she start doing Scheisse porn?

  42. Randal

    The energy from Heidi’s photospread is awesome. Her star will surely shine now. For myself personally, I will miss taking Spencer’s love in my spread eagled behind. Now that Heidi’s back home he’ll forget I exist. That’s the way it goes when you love a superstar.


  43. Name No

    When did being infamous become cool?

  44. Anon

    Okay had to post, these two are f’ing lame. Come on they have no talent and let’s face it her PB cover is pointless since she doesn’t get nude. If Heidi shows us her fake tits, I’ll look and possibly support that decision. If Spencer disappears I support God’s, the world’s and fate’s decision there as well ;)

  45. Please

    Why doesn’t someone beat the living snot out of this asshole? WHY?

  46. martinh

    While they may be the stupidest people alive, ugly douche-twins and all but it is interesting that they believe their fame will get them anywhere and they are such “super-stars” yet have to promote a playboy cover at another event.

  47. JESTER

    What happened to her did she get in the middle of spencer having buttsex with another homo.

  48. kori

    Looks like Spencer smeared her poo on her after the anal penetration

  49. andy7171

    I can’t stand these two and all, but MAN OH MAN what I would do to her.

  50. me

    i really could care less about all this drama , but i have to say i think it is cute how much they love each other …….WE NEED MORE LOVE IN THIS WORLD !!!!! DONT B JEALOUS PEOPLE !!!! I THINK THE PIC IS OK BUT COULD B BETTER ….

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