Heidi Montag’s album sells less than 1,000 copies

January 20th, 2010 // 151 Comments

Despite her huge plastic tits and sexually-charged lyrics, Heidi Montag’s new album Superficial couldn’t even sell 1,000 copies. And if that’s not hilarious enough, she dropped her entire life’s savings into it because she had her brain replaced with a tennis bracelet. Us Magazine reports:

In fact, industry sources tell UsMagazine.com that the album has sold only 658 downloads to date.
This is likely upsetting news for the reality star, who told Entertainment Weekly last week that she went broke making Superficial but thought that “within the first week, we will definitely make our money back.”
She told EW, “I put every dollar I have into this. I’ve spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality… The songs will make an impact in pop history.”

On the bright side, once they take away her house because she can’t afford the payments on her schnozz, Heidi won’t have to worry about living outdoors. You know, because she’s waterproof and bears hate the taste of mannequins.

More Pics of PlasticHeidi FrozenFace

superficial

  1. mike

    OHHHHH MY GOD that made my day. Maybe there is hope for us after all. This vapid attention whore may be doing porn by this time next year. The best part is her idiot retarded trashy jackass of a husband cant do anything to help this train wreck. I despise him more than her, but this is soooooo classic.

  2. Vinnie the Chin.

    Sex tape will soon follow. She’s almost at the bottom of that barrel.

  3. Hans

    Oh, poor Heidi, it’s time for porn industry.

  4. Tax Payer Patriot

    Did the bitch use public funds to pay for those tits? No, so why the fuck should I care. Plastic face looks 99% better than you fat fucks.

    Forming a 501c3 to raise funds. With enough public awareness, Spencer Pratt and Drew Pinksky might be persuaded to kill themselves.

  5. PunkA

    #102, one can only hope. I’d pay to see her get nailed, so long as it was not Spencer’s limp pud.

  6. She's a moron

    Hilarious! I hope the idiots that bought her album are ripping it on the internet as well. This stupid whore can’t sing to save her life, and I’m glad to hear she dumped her life savings into it; I hope she goes broke. Then the privileged whore will have to work for a living. Enjoy your life, you plastic faced idiot; it gets a lot worse from here…

  7. Anti-Hero!

    LoL She is at the All Time Low if she stills thinks that revamping her image and trying to out do Britney Spears????! She needs to be in the back making me some good ole mamma jamma pancakes.

  8. SugarPuff

    #38 should repeat your comment – so funny!! she’s such a freak

  9. Chris Moore

    Awesome! Now she will have to take her clothes off and show us everything. Then, on to porn!

  10. jerm

    lolzin @ 64

    you made the page a million time wider than normal

    maybe this is the opportunity she needs to get her naked in playboy

  11. ILOVEYOUHEIDI

    Where is Spencer? I hope he doesn’t leave her. He has not been with her in the interviews or people cover etc.

    p:s when he didn’t want a baby I think he didn’t want to invest in her.

  12. Wendle

    This is the best news today. Do they take back her face if she can’t pay the bills?

    Although she looks hot now, maybe she will get actually naked in playboy for money…. Even then I wouldn’t buy that trash.

  13. cbuzz

    This THING is enough PROOF to prove Spencer is a homo. He turned a typical dumb blonde into a Tranny.

  14. Crazey80

    Uh-oh. This can only end badly….

  15. Coop

    Actually they said If i bought one copy they would give me 900 for free…….

  16. Gemma

    Obviously nobody wants to listen to her.

    She is so self-obsessed and superficial. I don’t
    understand why people ever cared about her
    in the first place. There are way more important
    things going on than to listen / look at her.

  17. Coop

    Actually they said If i bought one copy they would give me 900 for free…….

  18. Gemma

    Obviously nobody wants to listen to her.

    She is so self-obsessed and superficial. I don’t
    understand why people ever cared about her
    in the first place. There are way more important
    things going on than to listen / look at her.

  19. Name (required)

    @ 14 AHAHAHhahahhaha

    Yeah, she looks like a 50 year old who’s trying to look young. She must be so unhappy with herself, have such low self esteem. And you KNOW she’s going through every website that’s talking about her, reading everything. I guess she just wants people to talk, no matter what they say. She’s so sad.

    Is it wrong that I kind of hope she dies, so that people will
    shut-up about her?

  20. capitanne

    Faith Hill was born with the face and talent this loser tried to buy. Glad she’s broke just sad that she had $2m to lose. From what? Appearing on a reality show and getting paid go to Vegas. Annual salary of enlistee serving in Iraq: $35,000, maybe. What a world!

  21. capitanne

    Faith Hill was born with the face and talent this loser tried to buy. Glad she’s broke just sad that she had $2m to lose. From what? Appearing on a reality show and getting paid go to Vegas. Annual salary of enlistee serving in Iraq: $35,000, maybe. What a world!

  22. JJ

    Dear PlasticHeidi FrozenFace-
    You looked better before. I am scared to look at you now. It’s like watching a person slowly petrify

  23. whattheshit

    Shit, my high school band sold more albums than that. What a hatchet wound.

  24. sharpie

    Awww, shes sad… wait, is she? I cant tell…

  25. Apparently the ONLY Hetero in Here and that includes our Host!

    She looks smoking hot and utterly ravishing. Any talk to the contrary is that of the jealous fat cows that populate this site like the losers auditioning for American Idol and the rantings of Fire Island fembots with penises. All you amateur haters WISH to God Almighty you had that outstanding rack, that beautiful face, and that amazingly tight body. God bless ya Heidi: Keep up the great work! If I owned an iPod, you’d be right there on my playlist alongside my Wayne Newton and Harry Connick. As for the rest of you: At ease, and F every last one of you!

  26. Not worth the cost of a bullet to shoot that idiot

    #125 bought her album.

  27. jenn

    She needs to be on a suicide watch. The only way is down now.

  28. Gary B

    Anchor Blue dropped her “over priced hooker wear” fashion line. He music career tanked after spending her entire life savings on an album that only sold 1000 copies. I wonder who bought those copies, everyone else just downloaded it from bit torrent and still wanted their money back.

    I wonder what did that 2 million go to exactly?

    Then she spent a crap load on plastic surgery, yep she is ready for PORN.

  29. parsley

    holy shit she looks forty

    at least

  30. HRH Adam

    @ Rupert Since you obviously enjoy the technical: It is “count noun” or “countable noun” not “counting noun.”

  31. Great!! This album is sure to be a big hit. I have listened its songs and I really liked it.

  32. Her surgery stunt reminds me of the Daffy Duck cartoon where he explodes to impress a tough audience. Then his ghost says “problem is I can only do it once”.

    Here it is. Show Biz Bugs:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show_Biz_Bugs

  33. good….up… NIKE AIR MAX JORDAN SHOES,COACH,GUCCI,LV,DG,ED HARDY HANDBAGS,POLO,LACOSTE,ED HARDY,AF,TSHIRTS
    {www . sbbshoe . com}

  34. good….up… NIKE AIR MAX JORDAN SHOES,COACH,GUCCI,LV,DG,ED HARDY HANDBAGS,POLO,LACOSTE,ED HARDY,AF,TSHIRTS
    {www . sbbshoe . com}

  35. dude

    i think she looks better after this last round of surgeries. i’d def hit it. dont even notice the chin anymore! looks almost like joanna krupa.
    less than 1000 sales is a good sign she’ll be hooking next. i want some dat, befor its radioactive.

  36. Erin

    she seriously looks like either a wax sculpture or a robot…. it’s fucked up

  37. Me

    My friend sitting next to me thought it was Faith Hill at first. Is that the photo she brought to the Frankendoc? “Make me look like her..she like..makes a lot of $$ singing & stuff!”. Wait..that may actually have involved coherent thought on her part. Maybe the doc is a Faith Hill fan.

  38. Area Man

    Whoopie.

    Before she had everything nipped and tucked she looked exactly like half the vapid, clueless, Hollywood bimbos out there. Now she looks exactly like the other half.

  39. Esol Esek

    She was a beautiful young girl before. A bit horsey, but she looked her age, and she was a natural blonde and a natural beauty, for christs sake. She had all she needed to rope in nearly any guy. Now she looks like she aged herself at least ten years, is in serious pain, and is an international example of a celebrity trainwreck. Where were her parents and Spencer (the unbelievable douche) in all this? HEidi is obviously still a child and incapable of making life choices. They should have had her arrested to keep her away from the plastic surgery on the face. The breast surgery is stupid as well, and dangerous, but for a plastic surgeon to cut someone like this under 25 should be illegal.

  40. John

    She should make a celeb porn tape. Would be far better to see her naked than have to hear her sing. Would also sell more than a 1000.

  41. Dan

    I feel kinda sorry for her, her music isn’t THAT bad, she just has no followers.
    but i can’t believe it costs that much to record an album.. wow.

    I like some of her songs, as edited as her voice may be, but i think if her songs had some meaning she would definitely convince more people to like her. I don’t know if she has, but she should do something slow, heartfelt, even if they still fix her voice… LOL

    I feel bad for her but at the same time it was funny watching her interview, seeing her refuse to sing, whether its truly medical or not, i still found it quite funny

    I really don’t see why people care so much, i personally thought she still looked beautiful, but now that i stare at the pictures.. i agree she has no emotion. I think it’s an improvement overall though, but she shouldn’t have opted for the cheeks, or brow lift, her eye area looks so different, yet that’s all i can recognize her for.

    Now lol at my randomly putting in my two cents, but i shall type all i like :p

    I tried to think maybe she wasnt supposed to look happy, maybe it was meant to be… deep, but she doesn’t even have that in her eyes anymore.

    Like i said she did, and still does look good in pictures, but still not so great in person. I think she could have at least tried to model before, make some millions back, but now she’s stuffed, they wont hire anyone fake.

    i kinda feel like buying her album out of pity now, something i don’t want to do but it’s seriously in my mind.

    And back to the topic of her face, i truly believe that when she ‘truly recovers’ and gets some life back into her face, people might accept her again.. well not like many did anyway lol, if this was natural people would think she was stunning, it’s all bias in my opinion. Although i truly believe she went too far on her body, i was horrified learning she got tissue/muscle/bone shaved from her back of all places, that is scary.

    With her quote, some of it is kinda lol, as much as i like her. It really is all him on the music side of it all, like i believe people would like her better, if she had good music videos, and heck if she spent money on those, she wouldnt have afforded this album or her surgery, musta been part of the great plan.

    The one thing i will truly back her up on though is her voice, i reckon she might have a decent voice, because again as edited as it may be, you can still hear her voice in it, which is duh, but still, if she ever actually sings she will gain much respect.

    But really, she does KNOW that people aren’t her biggest fans, so i feel sorry for her getting into all these projects, and having a bad outcome. It’s her own fault, but it just .. blah

    K bye LOL.. *reads over* i repeat myself alot, fml.

  42. Jan

    This is not halarious, this is SAD SAD SAD

    This woman has absolutely nothing in her life and has lost sight of reality a long time ago. Plus, she looks miserable and depressed; and brainwashed.

    Still wouldnt buy her album though.

  43. dawn

    Poor girl. She needs therapy for being delusional about her singing talents. She needs even more help to address her messed up appearance. What friends (if she has real friends that care) could have let her do this to herself? There’s no looking beautiful after plastic get pulled by gravity…and no stopping procedures at that point. The painful truth is that no one truly cares about her. She has this delusional idea that she’s relevant, but it’s likely she never will never be. I don’t think her story will end well.

  44. Linz

    what the FUCK happened to her face!!! she looks like a different person…

    somewhere lauren conrad is laughing her ass off

  45. Ryan

    Someone send her to Liberia or Haiti where the people there will gladly show her exactly how superficial she is.

  46. Stella

    God she’s such a fucking loser.

  47. Sam

    “The songs will make an impact in pop history” Ahhh bless her.

    Although to say that she wanted them to “sound better than Britney Spears” – I think I’d set my goals a bit higher than that honey. LMAO.

    Sam

  48. I actually like her and feel bad for her.

  49. She’ll go down in pop history as the person who broke Michael Jackson’s plastic surgery record.

  50. Priceless

    All I can say is she’ll never drown. I guess it’s always good to have 2 attached floatation devices. So instead of bras, she uses what now…..2 hammocks?

    Did she really just compare herself with stars that actually have talent? The more attention she draws obviously pays off….she actually got a part in a movie. Muppet takes Hollywood perhaps? And approx 2 million dollars of your own money to make an album? Goes to show her level of intelligence. She should have known there was a reason why no one would sign her….SHE’S TALENTLESS and the album will flop!

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