Heidi Montag’s album sells less than 1,000 copies

January 20th, 2010 // 151 Comments

Despite her huge plastic tits and sexually-charged lyrics, Heidi Montag’s new album Superficial couldn’t even sell 1,000 copies. And if that’s not hilarious enough, she dropped her entire life’s savings into it because she had her brain replaced with a tennis bracelet. Us Magazine reports:

In fact, industry sources tell UsMagazine.com that the album has sold only 658 downloads to date.
This is likely upsetting news for the reality star, who told Entertainment Weekly last week that she went broke making Superficial but thought that “within the first week, we will definitely make our money back.”
She told EW, “I put every dollar I have into this. I’ve spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality… The songs will make an impact in pop history.”

On the bright side, once they take away her house because she can’t afford the payments on her schnozz, Heidi won’t have to worry about living outdoors. You know, because she’s waterproof and bears hate the taste of mannequins.

More Pics of PlasticHeidi FrozenFace


  1. Barryp

    For all of you hardworking people that do not have 2 cents to rub together,….. this is karma payback for Hiedi who abused her opportunities and is now getting her sad payback…..

  2. I seriously think this girl has mental issues. I’ve never witnessed another human w/ her bizarre behaviors and ego. She’s narcissistic.

  3. TracyJ

    Frozen or not… her face still looks better. The boobs are ridiculous for anyone who isn’t Dolly or a Porn Star.

  4. annie

    Hopefully she’ll finally kill herself and take her douche of a husband down with her

  5. good. i hope she loses all her money. she is a stupid skank who deserves no public attentions.

  6. mateo

    Maybe we all should download it for free, then delete it before listening to it to save ourselves the pain from laughing at how terrible it is.

  7. Brooke

    Wow, did she actually think she was well-liked??? People will go online and download vids and pics and whatever if it’s free, but we’re not buying anything if we don’t actually give a shit about the person.

    I don’t know how much of the cut she personally gets, but it seems safe to say she hasn’t gotten more than $300 in her pocket for her efforts. Well… that’s groceries for a month, so good job.

  8. Paul

    Great news! I love it when talentless pieces of vacuous crap like this bitch get their comeuppance. The most hilarious comment was the one where she basically tells the world that the quality of a work of art can be gauged by how much money is spent making it. Let’s face it: retards who are that stupid deserve to fail. And I’m very happy that this one did!

  9. moose

    Too bad her music failed. At least she has her career to fall back on…….wait a minute…….lol

  10. Jake

    Now Spencer needs to have surgery to get his testicles to drop.

    And maybe surgery to grow a friggen penis.

    I saw him in Hollywood once and he farted next to me. It smelled like fleet enema and cock.

  11. JoeyMontego

    I don’t know what’s sadder, the plastic surgery or that she thought she could be anything like Britney. I know Britney has her negative aspects but she also has millions and millions of loving fans that will do anything for her or buy anything she puts out good or bad. I don’t know if anyone loves Heidi. Maybe her mom. I am not trying to be humorous this is actually sad that she spent her life savings this way. She could have wisely invested the 2 million and be set for life but instead she pissed it away on trying to be like Britney.

  12. obamasmama

    Dats cuz yuz guyz haz da urlz namz alreadize(the superficialz),shez getz scroooowed in the corn hole cuz she cantz readz!

  13. IMHO

    She looks like a man! She basically went from a cute girl to a ‘pretty’ man… and she has the strangest expression on her face in pictures, like it will crack if she opens her mouth to smile. I am guessing, also, that she bought a LARGE number of those CD’s herself… she is so shameless that she probably gave them out as gifts (thinking people would actually WANT them) ;-)

  14. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……..wait…..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  15. ing

    she doesn’t know how to dress with titties yet …. she looks bloated

  16. Superevil

    She’s the prettiest tranny I’ve ever seen.

  17. Isabelle

    It’s just craaazyy that she choose to go trough such a major change … Can she even still smile???
    What an empty person she must be. She is a weirdo.

  18. Robin

    She’s used to be georgous. Why did she do this???? She’s like jacko now. Weeeird.

  19. Dee

    She looks like one of those 45 year olds on Real Housewives. Or a tranny. WTF?

  20. Doctor Doom

    Fuck…those tits could stop a .45….at close range. Better then kevlar vests!

    Too bad they couldn’t grow her peanut sized brain…even just a little bit!

  21. anonymoose

    undo UNDO!

  22. Leopold Peterson

    The most famous she’ll ever be is when she dies from a drug overdose or suicide.

  23. harris

    My friend recommend me an interesting site __***** UKMillionaireMatch.com *****__ If you have worked hard for your Millionaire status and want to meet people of the same class, if you want to enjoy a millionaire lifestyle, you may join it.

  24. Blech

    You know, I have to say… I like this post. I mean, it’s one of several posts I’ve read in which wannabe-celebrities embarrass themselves, royally. Thus, this pretty much justice (and I loves me some justice).

    Hey, wannabe-celebrities? Keep on trippin’ on your dicks, please. Thanks.

  25. Prez Dick

    Oh thank you, America! Thank you! Maybe this idiot bitch and her faggot husband will FINALLY go away.

  26. Ok… who are the 1000 idiots who actually spent money on this crap?

  27. She looks like a CGI creation. All of the personality is gone from her face.

  28. Hey Heidi was really good and she is not suppose to do this many plastic surgery which make her so plastic . Now she is degrading herself by doin this stuffs and spoil her personality .

  29. Truth

    She actually looked fine before, though intellectually she just sucks.

    She ruined her looks.. deep need for acceptance, damaged goods.

  30. Haywood Jablowmie

    “I feel pretty plastic,” she said. “It’s still hard for me to chew sometimes and I have to speak very quietly”

    Oh … my … god. She’s PERFECT.

  31. Haywood Jablowmie

    #76: correction. 658 idiots. Apparently, all named ‘Spencer’.

  32. Lololr

    i feel sry for her

  33. OTP

    Awww. I feel so bad for her…

    LOL! No I don’t. Dumb bitch…. you’re delusional if you think you’re ever going to be anything more than some assfag’s plastic wife.

  34. Bob

    658 copies?! That’s a HELL of a lot more than I expected.
    I suppose you could say that’s pop history.

  35. watermeloniqua

    definitely looks better but completely lost her youthfulness (of whatever youth she had), looks like a 35 year old with surgeries. but i guess that’s good planning for the future? or will her shit start ballistically bio-degrading by the time she is actually 35? this will be an interesting science experiment.

  36. HAHA!!!!


  37. mamamiasweetpeaches

    There is no reason -absolutely NONE – why over 600 people should have bought that “album”! Inm even ashamed of the people who downloaded it for FREE. Okay, so maybe not everyone loves stuff like THE BEATLES or LED ZEPPELIN. I understand this. So download Britney Spears or Lady Gaga or somethin’. HEIDI???? HEIDI???? How can you listen to that shit and live with yourself?????

  38. Natalie

    I kinda feel bad for her. Not for not selling any albums, but for looking so weird now.

  39. tall girls

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  40. MR. T

    First: I can’t believe 658 people bought it. What the fuck is wrong with those 658 people?
    Second: Spencer’s gay right? They are just together for business reasons right?
    Third: If no one believes in kharma these two are proof that it exist. These two are the most arrogant, self righteous, attention whores this country has ever spit out and that’s saying a lot….so if they now go broke because they were arrogant enough to think she was talented then Kharma I salute you my friend……

  41. me

    I agree with #18, She looks like a Hot mom now, it easily added 10 years to her appearance.

  42. Kim

    That’s about a 1,000 more than I thought it would sell… good job!

  43. cc

    That many?

  44. Jarrett

    Next stop:

    Sex Tape


    Sex with Animals

    Dead from drug overdose.

    (not necessarily in that order)

  45. libz

    I saw her interview on GMA and they were trying to get her to sing. She was all like, “oh, no, you need to buy the album”. So the interviewer (sorry, forgot her name) asks her to sing something else. “oh, no, i can’t, my jaw hurts, buy the album”. It was so obvious that this bitch can’t really sing, and it took $2million of sound machines and editing to come up with anything sounding remotely professional. Then they said to her “please tell me you didn’t do this to yourself just to promote your album?!?!”. Heidiborg says “no,no God just works that way” or some such crap.
    Look, I can’t stand this bitch, or her douchebag husband, but seriously! it has gotten to the point where it is no longer funny. I won’t bother asking what kind of a husband lets his wife do this to herself, because, well… it’s Spencer! But where the fuck are her parents?? Has she no real friends at all?? It is just pathetic. Karma’s a bitch, that’s for sure.

  46. vdls

    I am weirded out by this whole situation. Why in the world would anyone 25 years old (or however old she is–I’m too lazy to research) need a mini-brow lift? When that poster above said that with a little altering you can see all of her scars I actually felt bad for the girl for the first time ever. I’ve met strippers and porn stars with higher self esteem. I really see suicide (or a Star 80) in this girl’s future soon–and I’m not trying to be funny.

  47. STFUP

    At least the album is aptly titled.
    Oh, and Heidi? MONEY does not make talent. You could have spent $10-Million on the album but it wouldn’t have increased your level of talent – which is pretty much non-existent.
    I hope Spencer leaves you for going through with all that surgery after he begged you not to. You are SUCH a stupid bitch! Now you look just like every other barbie-doll slut. After you become homeless for having no money and no talent, I guess you’ll have no choice but to go back to Playboy – if they’ll have you. I wouldn’t buy an issue with you in it.
    You are a sad, sad excuse for a human being. Go rot.

  48. canuckchick

    95 you are completely right, where were this girls circle of friends and family when she decided to do this. I honestly believe that she was cute, if not a little bit annoying and stupid, but now, she is so scary to look at. No one will care if there is a personality in there at all, she has now become a freak. I bet Spencer will divorce her shortly when she starts to freak out about her issues and they cannot afford a psychologist and we will find that he encouraged all this change (of course the boobs) to prove he is not gay.
    I am so sad, every time I see these photos. Every woman has something they would like to change about themselves but few go to these extremes. God, I could go on forever….
    so sad so sad

  49. Now Dr. Drew is calling Heidi a “female crossdresser”: http://bit.ly/75t9KJ For once he is on to something.

  50. She forgot the most important ingredient for having a #1 album like Britney or Jessica: manipulating the sales to the outlets.
    This puts it on the charts and makes it look like someone actually bought your garbage. Then a few sheep actually do buy it.

    All I heard was that one song a few months ago…every effect in the studio burying her voice and it still sounded bland. Call Mutt Lange and offer him 90% royalties, dumbass. You’ll still make millions.

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