Heidi Montag wore a bikini again

August 25th, 2009 // 114 Comments

If you didn’t suspect there’d be another set of Heidi and Spencer on the beach in the Bahamas, clearly you’re a naive soul blissfully unaware of the dark evils of this world. But, on the bright side, I realized we’ll never have to worry about these two starring in a sex tape. I’ll let you do the math on that one.*

*Answer: x / y = Spencer loves penis ^ gay

superficial

  1. Tim K

    Why do you keep posting about these people ? Until she really DOES take all her clothes off, I’d rather just have photos of an empty beach.

  2. lerrrrrn

    PLEASE
    EVERYONE
    JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP:
    “I hate Speidi (Spencer & Heidi)!”
    They deserve to have a large, very very large hate group…lets build it up.

  3. Chico

    YES YOU HAVE A NICE ASS, NOW FUCK OFF AND GET ON WITH IT YOU DUMB CUNT.

    MAKE A PORN VIDEO OF YOU FUCKING A REAL MAN NOT THE FLAMING FAG POLE VAULTER SPENCER.

  4. Take a SAWZALL to that chin!

  5. They are both freakin retarded!!! She looks like a plain jane white girl and it’s sad they’re “famous”

  6. glace neuf

    i’d hit it – can i get a naked boob outta this chick or what?

  7. kris

    I can’t believe that she lets Spencer even touch her, can she ever close her mouth or is she constantly trying to catch flies (off Spencer’s little dinger) croak!

  8. Superevil

    I wish someone would yank out her teeth and cut her fingers off.

  9. Jenna

    Spencer and his God AWFUL STUPID FUCKING FACE! and that cheesy smile of his…
    Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want to take a dump on his ugly head.. He is the biggest TOOL! and Heidi is a Sluuutttt! Ugh!

  10. Defcon

    Notice how Spencer ALWAYS leans away when she’s kissing me ?

    x/y = spencer loves penis ^gay^gay the fish got it WRONG ! ..

  11. Deacon Jones

    I wish someone would put a machete on the end of a jackhammer and stick it up her ass, full throttle

  12. carolaline

    Is it me or did she gain a TON of weight, what has she been eating!

  13. miau

    haha a “math” joke here while I was taking a break from doing math..thx fish :D
    miau

  14. Defcon

    aww ..my mind is playing evil tricks on me ahhaha i meant Spencer ….

    Damn it ! :D

  15. Randal

    There’s been a recent influx of picture perfect moments with Heidi as of late after her live performance at the Miss Universe event. She burst onto the scene as an actress, then vaulted to a musician and then a model for Playboy. Quite the accomplishment Heidi, so keep working hard while you enjoy the perks of being a celebrity.

    Randal

  16. Peter Pumpkin Eater

    NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THESE TWO!!!!

  17. gotmilk?

    enough is enough fish.

  18. STOP POSTING THESE TWO!

  19. kris

    I really hate to say it because they make me so sick but I would stick in her ass pull it out and have Spencer lick it off!!! And I’m not even gay, boy I bet Spencer would just love it and having her watch HAHA Oh JOY!!!

  20. Chupacabra

    can’t hide that body language. one day, one day very soon, he’ll be finally outted. But they’ll both only use it for more fucking publicity. Make it stop. Please.

  21. SOCAL

    Oh dear god. Will you please stop covering these buffoons?!

  22. Oh my god! Make it stop!

  23. Kid Simpson

    I heard nice Christians like to do it doggy style.

  24. the only opinion that counts

    I told you writer guy, NO MORE OF THESE TWO MORONS! I mean it, everyone else agrees. I don’t want to see their insipid faces ever again on this site or I will take you off my favourites. I will start a Superficial boycott if you show these publicity mongering whores on your site one more time. Agreed?!

  25. someguyguy

    I have a theory on these two. They woke up one morning and made a conscientious decision to be the biggest media whores that they could be. They hatched a plan to take steps that would maximize the amount of press that they would get, regardless of what they did. Could Heidi and Spencer just be two characters that they are playing, and at the same time laughing all the way to the bank? If the attention to them that we are paying is any indication of OUR intelligence, then it is quite possible that they might actually be smarter than we.

    Thoughts?

  26. mm

    They both make me want to vomit! Weren’t their 15 minutes up quite a while ago?

  27. mm

    They both make me want to vomit! Weren’t their 15 minutes up quite a while ago?

  28. H_Chick

    x / y = Spencer loves penis ^ gay

    That is a clever formula for Spencers particular angulation, Fish, but I think it would read more like this…

    Spencer = r(s) = (2Gm)/(C^2).(Penis^2)

    Schwarzschild had close to the answer with his radius for Black Holes.
    Translated, it means that Spencer Pratt secretly yearns to suck Penis^2 into the nasty black hole between those pasty white butt cheeks.
    The next formula to be developed will be the time equation for when Spengle leaps out of the closet

  29. H_Chick

    x / y = Spencer loves penis ^ gay

    That is a clever formula for Spencers particular angulation, Fish, but I think it would read more like this…

    Spencer = r(s) = (2Gm)/(C^2).(Penis^2)

    Schwarzschild had close to the answer with his radius for Black Holes.
    Translated, it means that Spencer Pratt secretly yearns to suck Penis^2 into the nasty black hole between those pasty white butt cheeks.
    The next formula to be developed will be the time equation for when Spengle leaps out of the closet

  30. Willie Dixon

    I’m boycotting The Superficial for the rest of the week due to the frequency of Heidi posts. Your weekly CPM can suck it, Fish.

  31. stace

    Her poor mother, must be sooo proud!

  32. She has peasant cankles

  33. Me likey!

    I for one enjoy looking at pics of Heidi. I think she has an amazingly hot body and a really sweet ass for a white girl. Spencer I could give two shits about but Heidi, She makes my penis throb.
    Thanks Fish! If you could only crop out any pics with Spencer these posts wouldn’t be as annoying as everyone is making them.

    On a side: WTF is up with his feet?!?! Creature effin toes man!

  34. No me gusta

    I thought we had a deal, FISH. You asked us, who was more annoying, with the promise of no more posts… we chose these ultra-douches and you FUCKING PROMISED!!!

    I know… It was a while ago, and drinking whiskey for breakfast doesn’t do much for memory…. I get it. But I’m sure the archives will point you in the right direction. I’m willing to trade Heidi & Spencer for Jon & Kate, but seriously, one or the other. My douche meter is pegged.

  35. jzhz

    He could certainly afford to lift a weight or two, though it wouldn’t help his ugly face.

  36. Chesty peacock

    I believe that she was told that sticking her ass up in the camera is “praying”

  37. missywissy

    Okay, that first picture is CREEPY. Seeing a picture of that nasty dude rubbing lotion on her and she has this mmmmmmm look on her face…. grose.

    Why does she always stick her ass out like she takes it in the anus? It’s not even sexy. I bet her asshole is flappy.

    When is Superficial going to lay off of the Heidi and Spencer pics? I’m thinking Superficial is probably getting paid to post these, just to keep these two in the public eye. This is the only place I ever see them.

  38. lalalal

    omgomg watch spencers toes in pic 4! wtf -_-

  39. lerrrrrrrrrn

    @26 I’ve definitely thought of that. It makes me wonder if they just play it up for all the money and press but ya know, I think they’re too fucking stupid to play that game. You know they aren’t that smart…

    Join the facebook group “I HATE SPEIDI!” I’m not the admin or anything, I just joined and I think you should too. ?

  40. Plixtle

    Aight… after 6000 “Please stop posting about these nimrods, you’re only keeping them relevant” responses, you’d think you’d have figured it out by now. But you haven’t, you keep mindlessly showing us you’re more a tool for these people than a wry commentator *on* these people. As such…. *waves bye-bye to the Superficial*.

    I wonder how many other readers will leave due to your addiction to irrelevant, self-promoting arsehats who only exist because of their own self-promotion?

    Myself, I’m tired of reading about people solely because they want to be read about and not because of what they do. Way to be a sucker, SW.

    C’ya.

  41. Rasputins Liver

    Oh, man.

    .

    If there were two other people who could make Crapney Sperms look kinda ok it’s these two ultimate waste of the planet’s natural resources.

    .

    Please! Someone take these two, Twatney and Lindslut Whorehan and put ‘em all out of our misery.

    .

  42. Dave

    Holy shit stop posting about these people…

  43. rb

    #39- Good call!! WTF????? STOP posting about them and pray they will disappear

  44. Um… why does she always have that look on her face… it’s like she’s watched tapes on how to be sexy but she just can’t get it right… and ends up looking like she has some sort of mental illness.

    Which clearly she does to be with that super creepy gay “husband” of hers…

  45. first in line

    Ewwwww! Somebody left a douchbag on the beach

  46. mike

    This is stupid….the superficial always posts pictures of these two losers…makes some comment about how much they hate them…and then posts more pictures of them.

    Here’s an idea, stop posting pictures of these no name stars!

  47. Hapa

    DUDE. Please stop posting photos of these Two Asshats!!!!* You’re killing my buzz.

    * You couldn’t have chosen two words better for two complete douche bags.

  48. Parker

    hahaha that f**king douche can’t even bring himself to touch her tits. Instead he rubs her chest and cries a little inside, wishing it was covered with hair.

  49. The Edit

    Yep. sweet *ass* … FAWG.

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