Heidi Montag wishes she was on Baywatch

September 28th, 2007 // 229 Comments
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I don’t know how, but this site seems to have turned into a tribute page to The Hills. Anyway, everybody’s favorite plastic surgery role model Heidi Montag was spotted frolicking on the beach yesterday wearing a pink bikini and carrying around a red life preserver. What an accomplished life. When she’s 60 and looking back on her life she’ll be able to say she inspired a nation of girls to get breast implants and run on the beach. Somebody should get started on her biography now. It’s such a moving story of determination and the human spirit. She makes that Rosa Parks character look like a total douche.

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  1. Sweet Baby Jebus

    My lord, is it me or is she channeling the spirit of Tori Spelling in that first pic? Huge mouth, horse face and scary plastic boobs. It’s like Tori 2.0. Jebus fuck, that girl is ugly.

  2. roughdaddy

    another blonde bitch with fake boobs. she doesnt look different from any other ..and who the hell can watch all these shows anyway? from all these reality craps on mtv i stick to real world thats the original….

  3. JoeysAngyl

    Gross

  4. Teah

    will someone please tell me how to have a stomach like hers?

  5. nas

    probably to give up…eating.

    but yeah
    her body is PERFECT
    i never look at anyone’s body in hollywood and thing ‘wow! perfect!”
    cuz i’m so used to the usual skinniness etc
    but for her i did
    i really like her body
    not the boobs tho
    the stomach/legs is what i’m talking about

  6. sid

    hey, look how happy she looks…leave the girl alone already. haters.

  7. Other than her fake breasts her body is pretty nice.

  8. demon donkey

    What’s she toting that floaty thing around for? She’s got two flotation devices attached to the front of her body.

  9. why

    is she so white? like her hair, eyebrows, skin, etc… too much peroxide i think.

    team lauren!

  10. xman

    in pic 9 she is looking for a cock to put in her mouth

  11. 123

    What a hideous creature! If you’re going to get implants, at least go to a good surgeon and get the right size. She’s still got a gummy smile, and fucked up nose to fix.

    lmao #51!

  12. robbyrob

    she can make a new baywatch for sure! i would watch!

    http://www.spymac.com/details/?2262427

  13. KH

    Her boobs would look like the following if it were not for the wonders of silicone:

    . .

    Can you see me now?

  14. Gain some weight

    She looks like those models in the weight gain ads, the ones that are the before pictures. If she put on 5-10 pounds she might have had some real boobies and not have had to buy hard softball size ones.

  15. Watter Bottle

    In Pic #10 it looks like she’s got a wonky eye.

    What a plastic piece of trailer trash.

  16. Pants

    I WANT THAT BIKINI!!!! It’s awesome!

  17. Your Mom

    She looks hot as f*ck. Playboy here she comes. Hopefully they can airbrush out the scars on her nipples I can see THROUGH her bikini.

  18. aury

    “When she’s 60 and looking back on her life she’ll be able to say she inspired a nation of girls to get breast implants and run on the beach.”

    i thought that was pamela anderson?

  19. Kasina

    she looks awfully stupid
    she poses for the paparazzi
    normal celebrities just don’t pose for the paparazi
    she just wants attentions

  20. Her tits look bolted on.

  21. KamUK

    God this makes me feel so sad I have a 10 year old and I would hate that she had any shallow pathetic role model like this. She doesn’t watch TV though so luckily she’s not aware of vapid creations like this.

  22. KamUK

    @5 are you stupid? breast size in nothing to do with ability to breastfeed what a dumbfuck thing to say.

  23. 284

    butterface…damn

  24. Commodus

    Hopefully her actions will inspire other boobless bitches to get an operation.

    While Heidi is still a butterface, her new tits look delicious. And let’s be frank here, I’d rather look at a girl with fake boobs than a girl without any.

  25. nicorette

    that girl is carrying a flotation device…. its too ironic and just too easy.

  26. PooPants

    Lol #7

    I hate The Hills.

    Shitty acting, ugly as FUCK actors, and god what is wrong with all of their faces??? They have the weirdest faces/facial expressions I have ever seen

  27. WTF?

    I’m suprised Spencer Bratt isn’t standing with her in a suit with a pink tie that matches her bikini!

    Clearly this girl is doing a photo shoot of some sorts, I mean who ACTUALLY carries around the floatie?

  28. moontan

    YUCK. TOO WHITE, JUST YUCK.

  29. great body! beautiful face! flawless skin! fake boobs!

  30. vfagz

    First!

  31. das

    At least the fake boobs take off the ugliness of the face. Which gives something to stare at.
    I’d fuck her. She is the typical blonde with silicon. You could find a dozen of those in California just in 1 block.

  32. You are all a bunch of haters – the girl is gorgeous, her body and skin is flawless. I bet most women could only dream of looking half as good as her AND most men could only have a chick hot as her in their imaginations! HATERS!!!

  33. Hootie

    She’s a butterface..

  34. Katherine

    hawt bitch. I’d fuck it! that’s all that matters really.

  35. Dan

    *Christ* I hate it when chicks try to be funny.

  36. Petunia

    This girl is the epitome of an ASSHOLE. Picture 4 & 5 are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. This girl is a retard…. just look at her! She’s so damn proud of herself too. O yeah… And what kind of douchebag photographer did they dig up to create a photo shoot with a red life preserver and a fire dept truck???

  37. rr

    she has a nice body tho

  38. Janine

    To Kimberely: That is a really stupid comment, I don’t think you can even breast feed WITH implants. If it’s “safe” I would be concerned, since implants can leak without your knowledge, and the baby could be drinking silicone. That’s why your breast swell when you are pregnant, retard. Small chested women can breastfeed. Also, this girl looks like she has an eating disorder, I can see her ribs sticking out. How can this look be considered ‘hot’ by men? Our society is so fucked up, it makes me so sad that this woman is a role model to young girls.

  39. Z

    id hit that…

  40. thebets

    ummm 1995 called, and they want that belly piercing back….
    what a cheese whore

  41. thebets

    oh my god, i just scrolled down and realized that all you have are these Hills LOSERS!!! come on!!!
    let us see the billionare gremlins!!! or something better than these people with zero personality… yes i admit i have watched the show and im amazed at how boring they are!!! u just wanna shake them!!

  42. John

    Make money easily with every click!

    http://www.cashcliques.com/?r=jeick

  43. Danklin24

    Wow, Superfish, you have no room to talk about people not doing anything worthwhile with their lives. I bet this hot chick has way more money than you, she’s on tv and she’s hot. Meanwhile you sit on your computer and type up a blog about celebrities we shouldnt really give a shit about. You life is amazing.

  44. I’m kinda amused to see that she’s getting any publicity at all. She’s nothing on The Hills right now and she’s not cute AND her boyfriend sucks. The only thing she has going for her news-wise is her boobs and soon it will be her wedding. BTW, I really only think she’s still engaged to Spencer for publicity. Love is grand, isn’t it???

  45. lolita

    she’s quite nice legs tho

  46. ranaway

    Quit posting about Heidi the Hideous! I miss Britney Spears and Nicole Richie….. oops.

  47. She has the weirdest, lanky-est body out there (other than Mischa Barton’s, that is). I wouldn’t want her running into the current to save my life (although I was a competitive swimmer for 15 years and would be the last person you’d ever see drowning in any body of water, we’ll leave that out so as to keep this in the hypothetical!!). I doubt she could drag anyone out of the water. Her chin would get in the way if she tried to administer CPR. Its a huge one, thats for sure. Are we sure she’s not related to Jay Leno? Seriously. She has enough face for three people. I just wanna go up with a butcher knife and pop each one of her boobies… what a fake ass, spoiled, “i’m famous for nothing really in particular” biznatch. I like crotch stains and douche nozzles better than I like her. And her ring is fake.. just like the rest of her “body”. I can’t wait to see her when she’s like 70. Hello future Joan Rivers, HA!

  48. MagicIntern

    Nice cameltoe in the second last picture!

  49. smitty

    i’m holding out on watching that stupid fucking show until they run the episode where the entire state of california falls off the continent and crumbles down into the deepest part of the ocean, killing everyone in that fucking cesspool.

  50. ifuckedHeidi

    PLEASE….she is hotter than anyone ANY of you losers have ever been within 100 feet of…so stop hatin cause you can’t have it……or anything even close. That is all

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