Heidi Montag wishes she was on Baywatch

September 28th, 2007 // 229 Comments

I don’t know how, but this site seems to have turned into a tribute page to The Hills. Anyway, everybody’s favorite plastic surgery role model Heidi Montag was spotted frolicking on the beach yesterday wearing a pink bikini and carrying around a red life preserver. What an accomplished life. When she’s 60 and looking back on her life she’ll be able to say she inspired a nation of girls to get breast implants and run on the beach. Somebody should get started on her biography now. It’s such a moving story of determination and the human spirit. She makes that Rosa Parks character look like a total douche.


  1. leatherdaddy

    fish, please dont leave us with this. …First!!

  2. Yet another obvious boob job. You could park a truck in that crevasse between them. Though it’s nothing compared to the empty space between her ears.

  3. I really want to kill this stupid bitch. By kill, I mean fuck.

  4. trinity

    when soes this girl NOT have a staged photo shoot.

    she’s a paparazzi’s dreamoh and she’s a fuckin moron!

  5. Kimberly

    In all fairness to Heidi though, if her breasts are like that size WITH implants, then she must have been as flat as pancakes before. I’m sure later in her life she would have been required to have some augmentation done if she ever considered breast-feeding her future babies.

  6. jenny

    ew, her boobs are scary.

  7. jacknasty

    Too bad breast implants can’t fix ugly!

    Will you stop posting on the cast of The Hills, or if you’re going to post on them at least stop pretending you don’t like them and their show….because seriously its like 4 days a week you post on them.

  8. havoc

    Still never heard of her……


  9. She should win some humanitarian award. She truly is an inspiration for hook-nosed and boobie-less chicks around the world! Give her the Golden Hooter award!

  10. lil princess

    her mother must be a horse… look at that grill!!!

  11. Megina

    I thought this was celebrity gossip.

    I don’t even know who this girl is…is she from MTV? I’m assuming, because other than FOX, I can’t think of any network that would give this girl 5 minutes of air time unless they were desperate for material.

  12. lil princess

    oh wait…. they must be fake, just like everything else about this whore.

  13. Andrea

    As if you people don’t know who the girls from The Hills are.

    You’re missing out.

  14. Her nipples are uneven. Nice plastic surgeon.

  15. 8907

    Definitey lovin’ the boob job.

  16. Kristen Dei from LA (Louisiana that is)

    Heidi Montag + new breasts + nice body = a low self-esteem. Good thing her valley-boy self pro-claimed playboy fiance’ that talks like a surfer, his mouth half open with a cheesy grin who’d probably rather be a butt-pirate is whoring her out….

  17. damnyou

    Congratulations, you look like a third-tier porn star.

  18. badplastic

    A waste of a perfectly good body, minus the fake knockers.

  19. I hate celebrities

    You know this wannabe famous whore was born in some tiny fucking one horse Colorado town called Crested Butte.

    So basicaly I like to say she was born and raiised in Crusted Butt. Hmmmmmmmm no wonder she wanted to get out of there.

    Do ya think they have a street, correction, do you think they named THE street there after her or some shit? Man Crusted butt must be so proud to have one of their own out whoring it up and humiliating herself in Hollywood, you know what all small town girls do in L.A. Being a braindead silicone filled fame craving slut-whore is basically the number one job opportunity awaiting young skanks that come to California or are lucky enough to have been raised there by their alcoholic frame crazed Momager.

  20. Mayumi!

    This girl is so ugly!!!!! But not as ugly as Amy Winehouse.

  21. Zing!

    I wonder if this ho has any jobs lined up for the future. I sure could use a new bumper guard for my truck. Looks like the inbred bitch has experience at the job.

  22. GT

    And standing in front of a Fire Dept truck. Because they’re the ones who use rescue cans. Wait….that could be her new Baywatch name! Rescue Cans!

  23. Kelley


  24. Buttercup

    Did someone say this already? She’s ugly, she looks like Tori Spelling…and thats not a good thing. She looked better when she was natural. Doesn’t she know? Breast implants are out, natural is in. Or at least if you’re gonna get them, get ones that look natural. Either way she’s not very attractive. Enjoy your 15 minutes honey.

  25. Spencer Pratt

    Instant boner.

  26. theShizaan

    this beeotch is pitiful.

    i feel sorry for her.

    she oozes desperation and low self-esteem, which is the complete opposite of attractive.

    and i’d still pay to see Spencer clocked in the face.

  27. L319

    Nice body but still a horse face.

  28. Not possible. The women on Baywatch were pretty.


  29. I hate people

    I didn’t know Jay leno had a daughter, I mean son that decided to become a woman/skank.

    1. remove mr. weewee – Check
    2. get big silicone boobies – Check

  30. The Food Network

    Hey! I know her! She’s Sandra Lee from the Food Network! Right?

  31. twat stain

    Oh god…PLEASE, no more of this hideous, useless cunt! She makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

  32. Judy

    God, I want to lick her! Every single inch of her.

  33. The Food Network

    You know, Sandra Lee…the one with the saggy breasts, botox eyebrows, instacrap meals and hideous table scapes…that’s her, right?

  34. Taylor

    Okay the Potato implants are obvious.. still she is gorgeous.

  35. She tries so hard, but she’s still fug.

  36. Bea

    She needs to get shot. Like… in the head. Like… immediately! ;-)

  37. ssdd

    This girl…… these pictures… … all I can do is laugh…………….. seriously.

  38. stupid

    YOU ARE RACIST superdouche ass punk

  39. She should sue her plastic surgeon for that awful nose. I bet there is not one ant in her apartment and she does not own a vacum cleaner, with that hoover of a nose

  40. elle

    superfish, you say she’s a bad role model, but if she hadn’t had the job you’d say she was too flat and make some smartass comment about that. why do you think she was insecure? cos of douchebags like you. i want to see a picture of you please? i bet you HAVE boobs. the male version. bitchtits.

  41. elle

    i should emphasize that i do however, think heidi is a douche too.

  42. Jason

    Are you guys being serious here. god. reading these posts is just rediculous. heidi looks better then 99 percent of the world. not jsut america now. i guarentee you, with my life, that not one person who commmented in here looks better then her. so go face denile and look in the mirror and realize shit i wieght 180 lbs im a fat ass. jealous bitche.s

  43. Rod

    Everyone ought to be jumping with joy over this chick. Fake boobs are awesome and if she inspires a generation of vapid whores to get breast implants, then God bless her.

  44. cookievanderbilt

    From Fish to Rosa Parks: These BAD fake boobs are a lesson in segregation:

    1. Separate
    2. Not Equal

    I mourn for America. And for that butcher nose job.

  45. boo

    OMG she SO looks like she is doing the slow motion Bay Watch running in the first pic!

  46. Miss Anthrope

    Another vacuous Hollywood “actress” with fake boobs and bleached blonde hair.

    How f***ing original.

    What’s the point of blatantly obvious implants?

    Her parents must be so proud that their daughter is aspiring to be the next Pam Anderson.

  47. tanya

    dog face

  48. Dana

    This person totally sucks and if I never hear about her again I’d be ok with that.

    For having a pretty good looking body she sure has a fugly face. Butterface.

  49. riley

    #5 i think you might actually be dumber than our esteemed ms. montag. breast size is in no way linked to the ability to either the amount or the ease of milk production. your breasts fill up with milk no matter what size they are to start with. that’s kinda the point.

    anyway, what a useless twat. she’s almost as bad as spencer.

  50. ali

    god bless heidi.

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