Heidi Montag will do well in porn

May 12th, 2009 // 113 Comments

Above is Heidi Montag’s new music video for “Black Out,” and it’s entirely her writhing around in a bikini again. At least she’s consistent. That said, If you don’t watch this thing, preferably with the sound off, and see a bright future in porn for Heidi, congratulations, you’re Amish. Now get off the devil box before you doom the harvest. I have spoken!

superficial

  1. Corneiliuz

    Looks like they were offered a Director and crew but Spencer decided to film it all on his phone instead so they could spend the money paying Paps to actually take notice of them. Such a vapid pair of miscreants worth less than a hobo’s home, and thats saying something. I’m from the UK and i get to hear about Jordan (Katie Price) every damn day

  2. Soho

    she sounds like she has a mentally retarded lisp.

  3. karen

    Sad that she was so neglected as a child she feels the need to make up for it now by vomitting all over John and Jane Q public. Ugh! She needs help…psychiatric and vocal!!

  4. Keithypoo

    I’m pretty sure this was a softcore porn plot line from the mid 90′s. I have a little vocal warm-up for her too. “Now Heidi, close your eyes and open your mouth wide. BOILING WATER!” Get your head out of the gutter. She would give terrible head anyway. That’s why I go straight to anal. She has a great ass.

  5. Heidi hater

    What the fuck this shit is so fucking dumb I hope she really doesnt think that this video is great it is cheap and dumb and by post shit about her you are making the cunt famous and trust me she has no talent what so ever quit posting shit about her she sucks balls and so does ugly spencer

  6. Heidi hater

    What the fuck this shit is so fucking dumb I hope she really doesnt think that this video is great it is cheap and dumb and by post shit about her you are making the cunt famous and trust me she has no talent what so ever quit posting shit about her she sucks balls and so does ugly spencer

  7. titsonsnack

    What a fucking shitty music video. Does she have any bottom teeth, or does she just have a giant row of top teeth and a massive chin?

  8. Darth

    My eardrums are still popping but the look at the sunny beach and water make it up!

  9. michelle

    she is a disgrace to women and I am embarrassed for her. sick.

  10. I rule

    Wow. She is so talented.

  11. TehDevil

    Dear Superficial writer,

    I was only able to hear about 70 seconds of it. After which I drove an ice pick into my ear and them broke a thermometer and poured the mercury into the bleeding wound. I then prayed to God himself and asked Him is this is what Jesus died for? If the answer to that is YES, then I cannot see Hell being any worse than that 70 seconds of my life. I will never forgive you for posting this video and may God have mercy on your soul!

    P.S. I also asked God to have the space shuttle crash on Spencer Pratt.

    Yours truly,
    TehDevil

  12. Huh?

    #44: You misspelled that last word. It should be “Anus.”

    I could only take the “music” for about 15 seconds, but I’m pretty sure I recognize the song from a game of Simon my nephew played the other day. Milton Bradley could probably sue them.

  13. Sarah

    3:08 is by far the best part

  14. squeaky

    MAKE HER STOP!!!! NOW!!!!

  15. ugh

    #29, hahaha

  16. missywissy

    I think the headline says it all. Good job Superficial writer.

    I’ll be glad when sex isn’t used to sell everything besides air fresheners. (Glade executives have a lightbulb moment).

  17. keaty

    comment #45 – hahahaha

  18. lauren

    WOW.terrible. does she really think she looks good? awful.

  19. bigbang

    that SUKD so BAD

  20. k

    butterface.

  21. barfing

    wow. the pose gyrating on that rope was exceptionally cheesy. god the cheese never fucking ends with these two, they are always looking to prove SOMETHING (what that is, i am unsure of).
    yeah you can pull off a hot body, have a perfect plastic face and plastic tits, but you will never ever fucking be respected. whatever

  22. shannon

    i played this and my cat suddenly woke up from her nap and starting attacking my computer, seriously bad shit.

  23. Bob-O

    I made it ten seconds in…then my eyes tried to escape my face…

  24. Lauren

    Is this a fucking joke?

  25. NastyBedazzler

    Dude that sucked so much ass.

    It looked like it was shot with a bulky shoulder mounted video recorder from the late 80′s.

    I wonder who has the balls to air this little gem? Maybe MTV will, I heard they don’t play music anymore so this will fit right in.

  26. Delgo

    I miss her old titties.
    What?

  27. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick, is that ever lame. I could only do 33 seconds; I’d sooner listen to two hours of Yoko Ono than thirty more seconds of that shit. Who would ever buy this stuff?

  28. Brooke

    Spencer’s shadow makes an appearance… what a fantastic director.

    I don’t think these two want fans, I think they just want people to look at them. I just hope that nobody beyond the Hills producers takes them seriously.

  29. MassGrrl

    Insufferably pain. I hate her.

  30. MassGrrl

    Insufferable pain. I hate her.

  31. cadcat

    @61 You is funny!

  32. That was rough to watch.

  33. meee

    i’m still shocked she could afford horribly fake looking boobs, but not have enough to fix that massive chin

  34. FU

    This video would be a lot better if someone handed her a grenade and she exploded. She’s a total loser.

  35. Bo

    I’d have to vote this the most boring video ever.

  36. hot gal
    for more fun and sexy gals wallpapers click on name

  37. j

    her and squirrel boy are a lot like iraqi insurgents, they arent very good at what they do but dont really give up.

    Seriously, who decided that these two posterchildren for a womans right to choose need to be relevant?

  38. j

    #83, the chin work is on K-Mart layaway until the big record contract lands…judging by the size of the chin, Dr Rey is gonna have his work cut out for hiiim!

  39. Superbiggerevil

    I made it as far as the first couple of words from her mouth, then realized she was going to sing instead of doing oral.

  40. John McDuff

    Please stop reporting on this piece of shit !!!! you (the superficial) say you can’t stand her and yet you continue to report on this shit for brains no talent whore. unless you get nude pics stop reporting. start a revolution and surely other goss sites will stop and eventually we won’t have to her about her again!!!!

    please,
    John McDuff
    (Aotearoa)

  41. Petey_138

    1-2-3-4

    Reminds me of The Knife’s Heartbeats, but still doesnt make it good, only proper use for her CD would in skeet shooting …

  42. Tatiana

    ROFL, her boobs are so fake and laughable, they look like basketballs. And that so called music video was the stupidest thing ever. Anyone can pick up a cheapo camera, put on a skimpy bathing suit and writhe around like they just swallowed a capsule of cyanide. Good luck with your joke of a laugh Heidi and Spencer, may your marriage last a thousand years so you don’t infect other people with your stupidity and your desperate selves.

  43. Tatiana

    I meant “…joke of a life”.

  44. ing

    #29 – brilliant!

    anyway, she looks like a teenager trying out her sexy poses in front of a bedroom mirror. she needs some original moves.

    ps – arent we dont with the blonde clones by now? hopefully this chick’s the last to jump on that brainless bandwagon

  45. seriously

    3:09

    seriously?
    i mean… seriously?

  46. hey

    she is just …such a bad person at life.

  47. Nika

    Oh, that’s absolutely horrible. What’s wrong with her??

  48. ugly face and voice

  49. Matt

    Will you install a mute button please?

  50. marge

    Such a waste of space and air these two… You really shouldn’t have posted this; THIS IS NOT FUNNY and only encourages them. I was actually embarrased by her. PLEASE STOP POSTING ABOUT THESE TWO.

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