Above is Heidi Montag’s new music video for “Black Out,” and it’s entirely her writhing around in a bikini again. At least she’s consistent. That said, If you don’t watch this thing, preferably with the sound off, and see a bright future in porn for Heidi, congratulations, you’re Amish. Now get off the devil box before you doom the harvest. I have spoken!
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Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
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| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
Megan | May 12, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I hate you so much right now.
janna | May 12, 2009 at 2:03 pm
this fucking sucks.
emily | May 12, 2009 at 2:03 pm
god, she sucks.
Jennyjenjen | May 12, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I made it 1 minute 27 seconds. World record for actually listening to a Heidi Montag video.
dk | May 12, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Thanks for that asshole, that lunch was expensive! Now you clean up the freaking mess!
Moose | May 12, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I think I would hate her less if she would actually try to make these videos good. God, that hurt my ears.
Suzy | May 12, 2009 at 2:06 pm
That sucked – what is with that huge chin.
Hey Superficial Writer. Why the hell did you have to fucking buy into that ad that links words within your typing. I hate all these blue words that are double underlined. *tear I keep accidently clicking them….oh you jerk. I hope you are rich because your fucking page – albeit better than working – is fucking LOADED DOWN with advertisements. :(
Da Beck | May 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Doom the harvest :D
lizzy | May 12, 2009 at 2:11 pm
i had to watch this on mute because i’m at work…
and i fast forwarded it a whole bunch…
tell me, did i really miss anything?
she is such a fucking loser, it’s painful.
Eleanor | May 12, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Wow. I was only able to take 26 seconds of that. With the sound off.
Premature Ejaculate | May 12, 2009 at 2:11 pm
her body looks amazing. stop hating.
xixiwitch | May 12, 2009 at 2:12 pm
As long as I mute the music and try not to look at her face, man she is sexy!
Jess | May 12, 2009 at 2:15 pm
made it about a minute in with the sound off. did it give anyone else motion sickness?
sam | May 12, 2009 at 2:15 pm
This is the WORST “MUSIC” EVER.
I listened to about ten seconds, fast forwarded, it was even worse. I happened to stop at 1:30. Take a look at that point and if you still don’t see porn, there is something wrong with you.
GuyHolly | May 12, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’m glad I have no sound here at work.
Krassy McKrass | May 12, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I enjoyed it thoroughly without sound.
I guess in real life she needs tube steak to keep her hushed.
Meream | May 12, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Tsk tsk. They never give up do they?
LEB | May 12, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I wonder what her husband thinks about all this….
Rick | May 12, 2009 at 2:24 pm
The timing is all off. Not the song – that’s what “mute” is for – but here on this site. You can’t send out the Sodomy Signal to mobilize all the homos in the last story and then ask them to appreciate a nice bikini body in the very next story – their rage only deepens, as it taps into humiliations from the teenage years. You have to understand, that’s where the whole “I demand that you say WE’RE NORMAL!” drive comes from, or otherwise it seems, you know, abnormal.
Mike Hawk | May 12, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Brilliant Direction. Cut to close up, cut to close up, cut to close up, cut to close up cut to close up, not to mention the location scouting, pool on a beach(?), piece of rope, hammock. The cut to black was unexpected and thrilling, back to hammock.
Gold.
BEAM | May 12, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Heidi and Spencer > Andy Kaufman.
jynx | May 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm
that song licks cows’ cunt. Follow the above advice and listen without sound off.
Kyle | May 12, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Yes, the music sucks and this girl can’t sing.
Let’s be honest though: neither can Britney and she’s hugely famous (and famously huge). Let’s just hope old horse face here never gets together with some really good marketing people, song writers, and choreographers or we’re doomed to see her everywhere.
please kill me | May 12, 2009 at 2:36 pm
She is a no-talent assclown.
Did Spencer direct this?
bop | May 12, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Horrible.
When will these people just die and get it over with?
Christina Bledsoe | May 12, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Its no surprise to me at all that this sucks. Everything Heidi Montag does sucks. We have all yet to see what her talent actually is…not acting, not singing, not dancing…
yan | May 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm
thats it…. you officially owe me porn
OWE ME
YOU HEAR ME.
…OWE
WHERE IS IT…
PORN …NOW!
g_girl | May 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Did Spencer film this?….. God.
aspiron | May 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Greatest music visionary since Paris Hilton..
sideshobetty | May 12, 2009 at 2:44 pm
she must have fleas, or lice…she’s constantly grabbing her head.
sideshobetty | May 12, 2009 at 2:44 pm
she must have fleas, or lice…she’s constantly grabbing her head.
Sideshobetty | May 12, 2009 at 2:45 pm
she must have fleas…or lice…she’s constantly grabbing her head…
Freekity geeek | May 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm
The video is basically a movie o’ boobies. As for the song, it’s not Music with a capital M, but sounds like something I might not mind listening to on a summer day, driving down the street in my car. Kinda Samantha Foxish meets Britney. Sometimes, I like airhead music… and Heidi is an airhead.
Jenna | May 12, 2009 at 2:59 pm
My head hurts. Possibly the worst song ever, and the video made me dizzy.
OHHH my eyes! | May 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm
BURN them out of my head! Why oh why is this skank famous?
I’m thinking that she will go porno soon which is why she always has her mouth wide open in photos…practice, practice.
Joe Melnick | May 12, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Stop with the hating – she’s no worse than most of the crap you hear on the radio, and better than some of it. Great body, did you want long establishing shots of the setting? There’s no reason why she can’t be a pop star if Britney et al can do it. She’s better looking at least, giant chin notwithstanding.
sorb | May 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm
She is hot!!
FRIST!!! | May 12, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I made it to 56 seconds. What do I win???
Meghanfish | May 12, 2009 at 3:18 pm
……. what do you mean she’s no worse than most of the crap on the radio??? This is THE FUCKING WORST THING I”VE EVER SEEN!! I honestly feel that it is intended as a joke. a fucking joke!!!!!!! Who jams out to this shit!?! NOBODY!! It’s complete garbage, she has a nice body and that is the only good thing about this disgusting waste of time!!! fuck her and her hideous husband, he literally creeps me out… to look at him makes my stomach queasy!! oh my god i want to stab my fucking eyes out and then slap myself for even watching 10 seconds of this lamesauce!! that is all.
Perez Hilton | May 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Yet another conservative religious fascist who acts like a complete whore!
Plus…and let’s get real now…she’s a girl with a body I’m supposed to get an erection from, and I just don’t and it’s not right that people made fun of me for being that way. Spencer, on the other hand…if he was wearing a thong and crawling backwards toward me on the rug…YUMMY!
So I hate her! For, uh, her beliefs. Yeah, that’s it. Her beliefs.
D | May 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm
OMG you made my ears bleed! Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Demise | May 12, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Her super long man face always amuses me
fuxyslot | May 12, 2009 at 3:38 pm
i wish girls would stop thinking they can sing because they aren’t fat
lashout | May 12, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Spencer needs to get his money back from his “how to make a music video” from the Learning Anex
Bot | May 12, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I hate to say this but I would bang Heidi McChinnychinchin
rachel | May 12, 2009 at 4:01 pm
she looks like a horse…. thats even worse than paris hiltons attempt at a pop career….. hopefully she doesnt release anymore!!!!!!!!
Tee | May 12, 2009 at 4:08 pm
HOW DO THESE PEOPLE BECOME FAMOUS????
Who the hell in America likes this shit? I know that sociologists talk ad nauseum about the dumbing down of America, but now I believe it. This video, and this pathetic moron with an inflated sense of importance, officially marks the end of intelligent life in the U.S. (although, staggeringly, she probably has fans in Europe and Canada, too).
I hold the media responsible: no one knew who this pathogen was until every media outlet started telling us she was worth reporting on.
Montag is the harbinger of a doomed culture.
Randal | May 12, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Hey there Heidi! Thanks for making this for your fans. Just wanted to take the time to say you created a deadly back beat which blend in so well with your voice.
Keep climbing the charts lovely!
Randal
Marlene | May 12, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Wow…turned the sound off after 3 seconds and felt like I was about to get caught watching porn…the real star of the video are her boobs, they actually cut Heidi’s head from at least 3 shots…but I have to admit my favorite part is when she gets her ass out of the pool to make sure we can have a good look at it…Poor girl. ” Hey honey, what could we do on this beautiful honeymoon vacation day?? – I know, let’s shoot another crappy video of me in a bikini! ”
Mandy | May 12, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Ha ha… I love how she tries to be all Christian and then goes out and does this. And for everyone who admits she has a hot body: would you really think so after you take away the spray-on tan and the bolted on fake breasts? Didn’t think so.
And don’t even get me started on that chin. Come to think of it, don’t even get me started on that complete waste of space.