Heidi Montag showering herself off in a bikini

June 14th, 2009 // 79 Comments

Had I known Heidi Montag was going to pose in her bikini in Costa Rica yesterday I probably would’ve laid off the bikini shots while posting about her lame as all hell Playboy shoot. But these are trials of my life. Sometimes I think the only people who have rougher than I do are kids in third world countries. Then again, they don’t have to go to school, work or sit through Twilight to touch a boob. — Little bastards.

superficial

  1. OMG LOL

    HEHEHEHE FIRST

  2. sah

    Never noticed how short her legs are…

  3. DrunkenJules

    What an ass.

  4. Miles

    3rd HEHEHEHEHE….. ^^^ That ass is nothing on Shauna Sand’s ass. OMFG. best ass!!! http://thesuperficial.com/2009/06/shauna_sand_sunbathing_topless.php?bfm_index=7&bfm_page=0

    Thats the best ass with the best tan, with the best body on the planet. Heidi has no body and face compared to Shauna Sand.. yuck… those tits are terrible compared to Shauna’s amazing babies.. Fuck Heidi. You aint shit to Shauna so quit trying. Shauna is The fucking best hands down.

  5. heidisucks

    GOD she sucks.

  6. calculating, calculating, the assman passes.

  7. Spencer got some odd abs, like he recently delivers 8 dirt little eaters….

  8. Randal

    Hi there Heidi, Randal here. Thanks for sending these pictures to The FISH, you look great! I love your show and just wanted to send my warm wishes to both you and Spencer. Stay smiling!

    Randal

  9. Modwild

    They are both way too pale to be stomping around the beach for photos. Blech.

  10. callam

    @2 nice one.. thats all i notice now

    @4 you serious? shes old an saggy

  11. superstar

    Is she sucking her tummy in?

  12. Venom

    Dreaming of showering her in something else…

  13. mikeock

    I know she’s as dumb as a bag of hair, but I can’t believe that albino douchebag is mounting this bitch. Or maybe he’s not. Who knows, but I bet he’s seen her naked.

    I’d eat it. Oh yeah. No problem.

  14. Miles

    yes, Callam. I am serious. She is not old.. She is so hot! Plus saggy?? Are you serious? She has a great bod and perfect at that. And like I said you can’t be her ass. Shauna is fucking amazingly hot! How do you say she is not hot?! Can’t believe that. She is beautiful. PS Heidi is a pale horse and awful compared to Shauna Sand. but hey its Shauna sand.

  15. Miles

    yes, Callam. I am serious. She is not old.. She is so hot! Plus saggy?? Are you serious? She has a great bod and perfect at that. And like I said you can’t be her ass. Shauna is fucking amazingly hot! How do you say she is not hot?! Can’t believe that. She is beautiful. PS Heidi is a pale horse and awful compared to Shauna Sand. but hey its Shauna sand.

  16. Matthew

    DAMN IT FISH ONCE AND FOR ALL AND ONCE IN YOUR LIFE STOP POSTING MR.OR MISS DOUCHEBAG!

  17. 1) Gross.

    2) Please to be having more celebrities who are actually, you know. Celebrities.

  18. djshrindefdf

    when is this bitch not wearing a bikini? it;s getting really old

  19. bbei

    Perfect body minus the fake bewbs.

  20. oneelusivegal

    Who the hell cares. Talk about non-entities. Why are these two even in mags and websites. They must have the best damned publicist in the world.

  21. mikeock

    Know what’s sad? These two retards are millionaires. They’ve been rewarded for being vapid idiots.

  22. mikeock

    Know what’s sad? These two retards are millionaires. They’ve been rewarded for being vapid idiots.

  23. Frankly! id rather see Susan Boyle naked. why you ask? because she got the wrong attitude, socialy and religiously, shes cant even breath or think for herself without this svengali like life partner…

  24. Randal

    I am totally beating off to these pictures. Well, I shall be honest and more specific: the pictures where I cropped Heidi out and was able to focus on the volcano of molten-lava lust that is Spencer Pratt.

    Randal

  25. Randal

    I am totally beating off to these pictures. Well, I shall be honest and more specific: the pictures where I cropped Heidi out and was able to focus on the volcano of molten-lava lust that is Spencer Pratt.

    Randal

  26. cyndi

    Put on some clothes woman!

  27. Some Girl

    How cute… they match. Their suits, their cross necklaces and their vile personalities. I do like how Heidi doesn’t do the whole crispy-fried tan thing, it’s probably the only thing about her that isn’t fake.

  28. Jim

    Spencer Pratt – Those who cannot grow facial hair get laughed at on the internet when they think they can.

  29. v tard

    Proof that the genetic lottery doesn’t give a shit about fair or unfair, deserving or undeserving or being rewarded for having no talent.

    No matter how much of a waste of oxygen Heidi seems to be, she still lucked out in terms of a body. Slightly man-faced but I wouldn’t kick it out of bed.

  30. gil

    i just jizzed on the same jizz I jizzed for Hannah Montana !

  31. PostmortemG

    ¨I’d eat it. Oh yeah. No problem.¨

    I agree, i guess. I´d be lying if i said i didn´t like her body.

  32. PostmortemG

    Damn… nevermind, she´s fucking hot. I even dig her pale skin. Sure, the chin´s a bit odd, but considering the rest of her body (And the fact that her ´husband´ is undoubtadly gay) I´ll ignore it.

  33. titsonsnack

    I WANT TO NOT HEAR ABOUT HER ANYMORE.

  34. j

    I don’t care if she is media hore and married to the largest tool in the world. She is incredible and i would totally do her. the mouth is accomidating.

  35. Pilatunes

    Holy shit, there are a couple of shots where her mouth is almost closed. Almost.

  36. Derek Jeter's Penis

    FISH! For the love of CHRIST! STOP posting pictures of this VAPID, EMPTY Shell of a fucking human being – MEDIA WHORE! I wish her and her Ken doll (means has no penis) would drop dead!

    Randal….you are a Douche….

    A-Rod wishes he was me….Seriously…Modonna?????Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha……………..

  37. snowwhite

    @ 9 Modwild – 1) they aren’t pale – they are fair skinned. they still look perfectly healthy, not washed out. fair skin is beautiful. ever notice that ‘fair’ sometimes is used to mean beautiful (mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all)?
    2) tans are unhealthy and make the skin look leathery and gross. these two are less likely to get skin cancer. and they will age a lot better than your tan skin. i seem to know a lot of people who use tans to hide body fat and appear more toned than they are. bringing me to my final point….
    3) they may be douche bags, BUT WHEN YOU HAVE A BODY LIKE HEIDI’S IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU ARE TAN OR FAIR. to comment on her skin color is nit picky and reeks of jealousy.

  38. isitin

    She will smarten up one day & leave that stupid douche bag.

  39. momo

    why buy playboy when you can get the milk for free?

  40. JaniceGunit

    BUTTERFACE

  41. :B

    # 21,22 very very true.

    I like to think of the comment area as the Superficial’s Colon. Where all the turd like comments add absolutely nothing whatsoever to anything, just like celebrities.

    ::sigh::

    p.s. WHERE’S PARKER?

    and I love you Randal.

  42. OMG!

    No doubt she looks good in a bikini but she’s a “tard”.. seriously!

  43. Parisisugly

    good thing she looks good b/c she has NOTHING upstairs (meaning her brains, not her boobs!)

  44. Alli Watermelon

    Pastey. Horse face. Flabby legs for how thin she is. Spencer looks like a pedophile/leprochaun. Yuck to both.

  45. alisa

    don’t care for her since she’s had so much plastic surgery… but she got really lucky with her body shape.. ignoring the bolted on boobs… her waist is really small and defined and her weight goes to her legs. she looks good

  46. that horse has a womans face

  47. Poppycock

    Why is she still being talked about? Don’t people realize that if they stop taking pictures of her and her idiot husband they may just go away. Anywho…she’s nasty. I can’t stand her and I’m sick of seeing her mug all over the palce.

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  49. Erica

    #29, how can you say she lucked out in the genetic lottery when she bought her body?

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