Heidi Montag wants you to eat her panties off. For Jesus.

January 12th, 2010 // 40 Comments

Heidi Montag’s new album Superficial released today and apparently one of the songs requests someone who won’t cry at the mere thought of her vagina (Spencer.) remove her panties with his teeth. Via Us Magazine:

“I brought some treats / I know that you gon love em,” she sings. “Come eat my panties off of me / Do whatever you feel comes naturally.”

Obviously these are the words of a sexually starved young woman in a sham marriage, or a songwriter who knows his client has the comprehension skills of a wombat because she bought fake tits to avoid ever having to read again.

Photos: Getty

  1. PixelPerfect92


  2. fucking whore, I hate her

  3. Do whatever he feels comes naturally? Putting the panties on.

  4. Superbiggerevil

    They actually smeared some cock smell on that Playboy so that fagboy Spencer would sniff at it.

  5. gotmilk?

    awwe look, that’s so sad. she thinks people actually care about her.

  6. Nome King

    With all the celebrity deaths in the past year or so, why does she have to live?

  7. cbuzz

    fuk i hate to say this BUT I rather look at Heidi than Tila or Snooki

    MORE HEIDI PLEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Randal

    Now this is the way to bring in a new decade!

    Heidi, you’re drop dead beautiful, from your head, to your hips right down to your french manicured finger tips. You’ve certainly made quite the name for yourself in the entertainment industry, the porn industry and now the musical industry.

    Keep it real!


  9. pimp

    what a worthless cunt…i’d still suck on her bleached asshole though…

  10. Fat Chicks Suck

    Gotta give it to them – this ridiculous marketing strategy is still working to some degree. What you see are characters that were created – not real people. Your reactions are exactly why they are still around – people love to hate these “characters.” It doesn’t bother me either way because I can look past that…and I never get tired of looking at Heidi’s smoking hot body. The fake tits are a definite minus but Jesus Christ would I love to fuck the shit out of her.

    They’ve sold their souls for money but I probaby would do the same thing if handed the opportunity. These 2 are laughing all the way to the bank.

  11. JohnnyBGood

    Great! These attention whores are back in the spotlight.

  12. Ashley

    She just wants people to imagine themselves having sex with her.

    … I can relate. sluts.

  13. Jen


    I had actually forgotten about these two for a second…sigh

  14. Innocent Bystander

    Where does she or the lyrics say anything about Jesus? You’re such an agenda-pushing hack.

  15. Das Fenster

    What male posting here wouldn’t fuck her?

  16. Vinnie the Chin

    I’d eat her panties off. She may be annoying but not enough to not do her.

  17. Jay Leno

    Tell me again. What does she add to the world???

  18. Christi

    @Jay Leno… um, spank material? A place to put your pearl necklace? Someone to donkey punch?

    Just off the top of my head. True, it’s not earth shattering, but someone’s gotta be the janitor.

  19. Google me

    @ Jay Leno, she’s an American celebrity she needs not

  20. Left hand Pete

    @ 4. Superbiggerevil – hahaha nice one mate!

    @ #10. Fat Chicks Suck — dude, spot on comment. Heck, you’ve made me realise that all this time although the thought had never entered my mind I too would very much like to lick her feet and bone her silly.

  21. trizfat

    $10bux never to post anything with Heidi or Spencer EVER EVER AGAIN.

  22. trizfat

    E.G. you have a post back in Nov making fun of some lyrics from the eponymous single when it was “released”


    I know it’s fun to make fun, but it’s still publicity and at this point the only kind of publicity they want. STOP IT.

  23. Rough: please pardon my negro dialect

    Dont care Heidi looks hot, wonder how mushy she would get after a few squeeze…

  24. To be honest, Yes, I would take her panties off with my teeth.

  25. beautiful.fully,see more picture about her in playboy,click my shop

  26. caroline

    I can´t stand them!!! I am from Argentina and they are exactly the same of a “famous” stupid couple : Matias ale and silvina escudero…
    It´s so funy how similar they are..

  27. Oh Yeah!

    Well, it’s about time this chick’s fake tits were back in the news. Talk about a long dry spell.

    I wonder if some of that time was spent attending solo kama sutra classes.

  28. weirdo

    I’d be happy to eat her panties off and chew on them and then stick my tongue as far up her sweet asshole as it would go. I’d then bend her over and dry hump her butt until she bleeds.

  29. I am a gal student from vegas. I have blue eyes, blonde hair, sexy lips and am told I have a nice smile and a curvy body. I am 5’7”, A little bit chubby but somewhat hot. I am eager for friendship and love among black sexy. If you are interested in a white girl who is sincerely looking for real love and if you are into hot chubby gal like me.view my photo under the name “candice544″ on “w/w/w//black//white-//finder//com” where many black or white singles seeking love or dateing online.

  30. Heidi Montag has a beautiful figure and am sure all guys would be dying to do that.

  31. cc

    F***********k, they are back.

    I’ve heard of people having their jaw wired shut (after an accident). Is it possible to have it wired open? I guess so!

  32. Whore for Jesus

    Christ; when is little miss “I’m a whore for Jesus” going to understand how much people hate her & just disappear? Can’t someone off this bitch already?

  33. Wow man! She is looking so hot I must say. The way she is smiling is very sexy . I just wanna say that she is sexiest woman on the earth.I just love her eyes very much .

  34. @ 14 – They might just mean Heidi’s a fake Christian, same as Prejean, Palin, W., Coulter and Hannity.

    @ 33 – I’d like her to get naked before disappearing. I’d like her to get naked as soon as possible, though.

  35. Glyndwr

    What’s interesting about your use of a parenthetical is that I can’t tell if you’re saying that Spencer would cry or if he is her vagina, but what’s better is that it doesn’t matter which way you read it– they both work!

  36. with all the surgery, she needs to do playboy again so we can get a better look at that doctors handy work. man, she does have the cash though to do all that work. that is probably some dollars.


  37. DesiPrincess

    EEEWWWWW! She almost looks like the freaky cat woman…she looked so much better before (even though I never liked her)…she needs to stop! One more procedure is going to make her look like an alien…guess what Heidi, even your loser husband will leave you if you keep doing what you’re doing. She looks unnatural and awkward. Go Lauren! The one person I actually respect from “The Hills”

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