Heidi Montag equates herself with Jesus

June 30th, 2008 // 112 Comments

Heidi Montag is a devout Christian and wish people knew more about her faith. But you don’t hear much of that because she’s too busy posing in pictures that could only be used as Aryan greeting cards. But in between displaying her funbags, Heidi has a deep spiritual side that she shared with USA Today. Let’s take a look at Heidi’s ability to form thoughts which will make you cringe because of the fact her uterus is fertile and capable of reproduction:

On how she’s just like Jesus but with implants:
“There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn’t matter to me.”

On her and Spencer’s faith and surprising ability to read:
Montag identifies herself as “kind of non-denominational Baptist” and hopes to release a Christian album one day. Both she and Pratt read the Bible conscientiously. “I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God.”

On traveling to Africa – Paris Hilton style:
This August, she and Pratt are headed to Africa to “feed children and help build things.” Cameras will capture their trek, but not for The Hills.

Heidi also plans on releasing a Christian music album and you know what? I couldn’t think of a better market for her. SNAP! Did I just burn religion and Heidi in one sentence? I think I did. Who’s Jesus now? Eh? If you’ll excuse me, I need to go turn the water cooler into wine.

UPDATE: Didn’t work so I just poured vodka in. That’s in The Bible too.


  1. God

    Dear Heidi:

    Please keep me out of this. I have an image to uphold.


  2. So, is she against sex outside of marriage as the New Testament would teach, or just against VIDEO TAPING sex outside of marriage?

  3. Ash Frog

    #85 you’re pretty stupid as you apparently can’t even read your own comments.

    here’s what you said:
    “i was proving how ‘stupid and narrow minded’ the world and new generation has become( drinking, partying, sex.) but i didnt bother getting into that. eople have to set their priorities straight and be responsible and work when its the right time and then party and have fun when you’ve finished you’re work.”

    That sounds like saying there’s a correct way to live life if you ask me. You’ve even gone so far as to set the parameters yourself. Later on you even went on to show off how super duper awesome you are as though we could give a rat’s ass about you.

    BTW you must have like no education whatsoever. Partying, drinking and sex are modern inventions? HAHAHAA

    What a dumbshit. GO die in a hole.

  4. xA

    I suppose she’s a virgin and that she and Spencer are together because they enjoy one another’s company and witty conversation. Please.

  5. just one little pill

    #93 If they did, wtf wouldn’t be able to find it.

  6. The jig is up!

    ~ good point. lol (though I dont know that she claimed to be a virgin or a saint? Just stated she and Spencer read the bible and that she felt a connection to God…)

    to the everybody else that seems to have far too strong opinions on the subject , whilst there are illnesses, wars, famines, and poverty right outside your doors…turn off your computer and go for a nice walk outside, theres a real world out there waiting for you to return….

    Oh yeah , and this has been popping into my head while reading all the comments..

    ‘So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said to them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.’ – Jesus
    John 8:7 (KJV)

  7. Amber

    what the crap?!
    this is the reason nobody comes on your website
    you don’t just put down other people’s beliefs
    so SHUT UP

  8. Sound like another Paris Hilton in the making.. this girl needs to get her head out of the clouds. Anyways she is a good singer………………..

  9. Oh yeah , and this has been popping into my head while reading all the comments..

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