Heidi Montag excretes another single

June 24th, 2008 // 110 Comments

In case there was any doubt that Heidi Montag has absolutely no musical talent whatsoever, she’s started her own label in an effort to get her album out there. In the meantime, Heid’s released another song called “Fashion” (audio after the jump). And let me tell you it’s every bit as amazing as you could imagine it to be. Did I say amazing? I meant ass sandwich. People reports:

“Heidi has started her own record label with Super Producer RedONE,” a source tells PEOPLE. “RedOne will write and produce with Heidi an entire album of 13 songs.”

And it’s official: Even if strippers and malt liquor shot out of Heidi’s uvula, I’d rather hear the sound of my own testicles deflating then listen to another thing come out of her Harpie piehole. Rolling Stone, feel free to quote me on that.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Audio: People

superficial

  1. REIGN IN BLOOD

  2. Emily

    “And it’s official: Even if strippers and malt liquor shot out of Heidi’s uvula, I’d rather hear the sound of my own testicles deflating then listen to another thing come out of her Harpie piehole. Rolling Stone, feel free to quote me on that.”

    That made me laugh so hard….thanks.

  3. Bigo

    And all those teen girls will make this song their bible, following role models like this skank and Britney Spears’ sister Jamie… just look at all those pregnant girls who plotted to get pregnant all at once.

  4. Crumb

    @46 I guarantee you 75% of the people you pass on the street have tattoos, you just can’t see a majority of them because they’re in places most people won’t see. So, it must be that the executive vice president of Dell is white trash? Or, I’m sorry, is he a street nig? Just because everyone doesn’t share the same narrow-minded, ignorant views as you, doesn’t mean they are wrong.

  5. Mainstream

    @54 I did not know 75% of people walking down the street have tattoos. That’s about as rebellious as eating vanilla ice cream straight out of the container. You’re sheep.

  6. Que

    Que worthless!

  7. Ohh There are no more words to describe this.

  8. timmy

    Heidi is going to star in the latest Blacks in Blondes porno dvd. I hear she’s going to do a double black penetration.

  9. timmy

    Heidi is going to star in the latest Blacks in Blondes porno dvd. I hear she’s going to do a double (black) penetration.

  10. NIck

    Didn’t you say you wouldn’t post about anyone on the hills unless they were in a bikini?

  11. TOOL

    it sounds like a track from an old nintendo 64 game
    @18 tool is to good for her

  12. MonkeyMan777

    I don’t think that’s her drivers license. The photo shows someone wearing a black jacket with shoulder pads. Very 1980′s.

    And wow, just wow. Those lyrics are a study in self aggrandizing promotion. Next she’ll be selling ad space on that huge lantern jaw of hers.

  13. MonkeyMan777

    I don’t think that’s her drivers license. The photo shows someone wearing a black jacket with shoulder pads. Very 1980′s.

    And wow, just wow. Those lyrics are a study in self aggrandizing promotion. Next she’ll be selling ad space on that huge lantern jaw of hers.

  14. CANDY BARS

    wow….just…..wow. Sounds like a track from a little girls’ Barbie movie. How can she possibly expect anyone to take her seriously as a singer or even a person?? She is so pathetic! This song is so pathetic! I wanna stick a hot poker through my ears!!!!!

  15. The entire world

    Dear Heidi,

    Please die. And be sure to take your cockmunch boyfriend with you when you do. Thank you.

    Sincerely,

    The entire world

  16. sara

    this sounds like an ace of base rip-off. i mean the lyrics are atrocious, but if it was the 90s, she might have had a hit here.

  17. Eddy

    I love* this kind of music. It takes no talent from anyone involved, except whoever wrote the formula for voice + synthesizer = music.

    *hate

  18. Rimma

    Hate them but love the outfit. What kind of purse is she carrying?

  19. Taylor L

    That was dreadful.

    But I’m gonna listen to it again

  20. hershit

    the first 3 seconds of the beat are quite good… the rest seriously fucking blows. one of the worst songs i have ever heard and i am not exaggerating

  21. Christina Death

    My god i have heard better sound coming from my cat while he was trying to puke up a hairball. Who ever told her she could sing must have been deaf.

  22. CANDY BARS

    my dog makes a more pleasant sound when she’s hacking up one of my tampons that she dug out of the trashcan.

  23. mamamia

    It just sounds like this girl wants designers to give her free clothes. What a dumb song.

  24. Dick Bush

    Bowie should decapitate her with a blunt cleaver.

  25. mirah

    you know, its one thing to put out such a horrible song that i cant even stand to listen to the whole thing….

    but this time she’s gone too far. ten seconds into the song, my car started vomiting, had a seizure, and then died. i’m fuckin’ PISSED.

  26. mirah

    you know, its one thing to put out such a horrible song that i cant even stand to listen to the whole thing….

    but this time she’s gone too far. ten seconds into the song, my car started vomiting, had a seizure, and then died. i’m fuckin’ PISSED.

  27. DoFreeBird

    Who’s standing on the 15 foot step ladder taking the first picture?

  28. grobpilot

    Spence is grimacing like he’s got a 14 inch wiener jammed up the tailpipe

  29. spaceyQQQ

    She started her own record label because no one else would sign this piece of crap!

  30. @77. Nobody. Heidi is just really effing short

  31. Caminador

    I no longer blame terrorists for hating America. That’s the only thing I can possibly think after listening to this. If Elvis were really alive, we’d all know, because he would’ve shown up at this “recording session,” ring-beat Heidi to death, and then sung a gospel tune so badassly that everyone else there died immediately. I’m going to drink.

  32. PostmortemG

    “Still digging her tight sexy body and that blank stare that says “your wish is my command”"

    I must agree. It’s a shame her tits are fake, but I’d still suck the stains out of her panties. =D As for the song… I’m not listening to it, but yeah, I’m sure it will do well in Japan. The Japanese like lots of stupid stuff.

  33. kati

    ….she cannot be serious. this has to be some big joke or something. holy shit. that was horrendous. i mean, it was so bad that it’s hilarious….who writes lyrics like that? who?? besides heidi montag, apparently…

  34. caitie

    epic fail. the damage to my ears is irreparable – there is a lot of blood.
    i’ll probably sue for this.

  35. Jillian

    That was horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. lizard

    I was going to say that this sounds like a 12-year-old Japanese girl with a 1987 Casio keyboard, but then I realized that it would be offensive to 12-year-old Japanese girls and Casios.

  37. nunya

    Why do stupid cunts like you give publicity to stupid cunts like this?? Don’t you realize YOU are part of the problem?

  38. toink

    it sounds like some 80′s crap… the one that has been rejected and thrown in the trash but by some fate, Heidi found it and decided to record it. WTH was that? also, the lyrics is BS… Someone, please, strangle her,…

  39. the flying Conchord

    a profit seeking entity is producing this record?

  40. shaz

    awww…i feel so bad for this skank. she has the worst song, she has low self esteem, and everyone hates her.

  41. eric

    Rimma- She’s carying a Balenciaga bag
    and wearing an hermes scarf

  42. La Toya Jackson

    She’s totally trying to take the Nicole Richie train to success, who proved to the world that you CAN become a high profile celeb by wearing scarves and oversized sunglasses.

  43. beenie

    Oh God, when she says “Manolo,” I started crying laughing.

    This is the dumbest song I’ve ever heard. Oh God, I’m STILL laughing.

  44. beenie

    Oh God, when she says “Manolo,” I started crying laughing.

    This is the dumbest song I’ve ever heard. Oh God, I’m STILL laughing.

  45. beenie

    Oh God, when she says “Manolo,” I started crying laughing.

    This is the dumbest song I’ve ever heard. Oh God, I’m STILL laughing.

  46. Ishi-san

    ….and that in the middle, is that supposed to be French?????

  47. wet newspaper

    She has sweaty armpits. YUCK.

  48. Erik

    Jesus fucking christ. I think I’d almost rather listen to her terrible first song than this one.

  49. katie

    We as a human race are all doomed. Ignore the ongoing fighting and suffering that occurs daily on earth because this vacuum of a woman is flooding our ears and minds with the same shit we are forced to hear and see daily. I think someone should drop a bomb on los angeles and just call it a day.

  50. Vagina CoastGuard

    @89….LOL!!

    I am just awaiting the day Mozart, Tupac, James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, and Elvis rise up from the grave and hack this bitch and her “boyfriend” to death with rusty machetes for this shit. That way, if the massive blood loss won’t kill them, maybe the infection that sets in later will…..

    That is all….

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