Heidi Montag excretes another single

June 24th, 2008 // 110 Comments

In case there was any doubt that Heidi Montag has absolutely no musical talent whatsoever, she’s started her own label in an effort to get her album out there. In the meantime, Heid’s released another song called “Fashion” (audio after the jump). And let me tell you it’s every bit as amazing as you could imagine it to be. Did I say amazing? I meant ass sandwich. People reports:

“Heidi has started her own record label with Super Producer RedONE,” a source tells PEOPLE. “RedOne will write and produce with Heidi an entire album of 13 songs.”

And it’s official: Even if strippers and malt liquor shot out of Heidi’s uvula, I’d rather hear the sound of my own testicles deflating then listen to another thing come out of her Harpie piehole. Rolling Stone, feel free to quote me on that.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Audio: People

superficial

  1. Tephie

    First!

  2. Zim

    … would make a great cell phone ring tone.

    (just for the looks people would give you when you get a call)

  3. veggi

    That TSA agent should wash his arm after a body cavity search.

  4. Z0d

    Hah. What a dumb bitch. I hope she dies.

  5. steve

    She can stick that album up her RedONE.

  6. ph7

    Still digging her tight sexy body and that blank stare that says “your wish is my command”

  7. JessicaRabbit

    Wow. Horrid song, made my poor kid start crying.

  8. Trover

    Butterface. I hope TSA raped her ass with his latex glove cavity search. She probably is smuggling little Spence jizz up. Toxic. They both need to die a very public and very painful death.

  9. WOW…Now thats a GREAT SONG!! I cant wait to hear it at the clubs! She is so cute…if I was really a girl, Id want to look and be just like her. Shes soooo lucky, that Spencer is HOTTTTTTT!!

    !!! GO SPEIDI !!!

  10. I have never in my life heard such horrible, horrible music. I mean, it’s incredible.

  11. Jen

    Why is she staring at that customs officer like she wants to make love to him? She’s disgusting.

  12. bernie

    Super Producer RedONE > Recorded Prune Poseur
    I’d still demolish her.

  13. tim

    As is his custom, Spencer volunteer for strip search and full boy cavity examination by the TSA agent with rheumatoid arthritis in his knuckles.

  14. C’Mon guys…dont be so hard on them. They are HOT and CUTE! and shes got a great voice. Dont hate!

    !! GO SPEIDI !!

  15. Guy

    That hurt…

  16. Do_FreeBird

    Just looked at the lyrics (or “words” as Heidi would call them)

    HEIDI !!!!
    Ohhh Ohhh
    La La La
    We Love Designer

    I am, I’m too fabu-lous
    I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts
    I live, to be model thin
    Dress me, I’m your manne-quin

    (A bunch of designer names in a “French” accent)

    Fashion put it all on me
    Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
    Fashion put it all on me
    I am anyone you want me to be
    Fashion put it all on me
    Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
    Fashion put it all on me
    I am anyone you want me to be

    She then repeats the lyrics above twice more beforeending by repeating:

    Ohhh Ohhhhh
    La La La
    We love designer

    Over and over. WHAT A NARCISTIC CUNT!!! **Every** phrase, every sentence, every word for Christ’ sake is about Heidi. DId anyone look at the comments below the song?

    Who the fuck thought this was a good career move? WHo the fuck thought that she could sing?
    The “prducer” of this album should be shot. BTW he is also working with Michael Jackson on his “comback” album.
    Anyone connected to this should be killed with extreme prejudice.

  17. mariliis

    oh, shit. she sucks. who the fuck told her she could sing?!

  18. When her mouth’s open it reminds me of John Graziano.

  19. p0nk

    i’m looking forward to the video, jazzhands for the WIN!

  20. Is she a SECRET sister of MONGOL willis?

  21. wtf

    Folks somehow the writing style seems to be different,- what’s up with that?
    I usually have to laugh but not anymore :-(

  22. Guy

    &16

    Oh lawd, i can just imagine the video now. It’s 100% got to be set on a cat walk.

  23. veggi

    3- shut yo mouth..

    16- holy shit!! really? I can’t hear the song on this computer…. (thankfully)

    Wonder what Randal thinks..

  24. To airport security as she lifts her god-awful shades “Ya, see it’s really me. I’m just so famous for being the laughing stock of celeb wanna be’s I have to pretend to be like them in as many ways as possible! They wear shades inside so nobody can recognize them, er us.” No amount of makeup or plastic surgury can change the fact that this chicks “beauty” is below average. Nothing classy, nothing sexy, nothing beautiful in her face. Anna Nicole had more grace and sexiness in her face than this fake horse look alike and Anna was older too!

  25. Harry

    I’d listen to her music if she let me bang her silly for a weekend. Then I would tell her the music stunk.

  26. Candice

    Holy Fuck.

    … There are no more words to describe this.

  27. vitesse

    come on i thought you weren’t going to post anymore about those fucknuts.

  28. Funny the only “nice” comment is from #6 and he only wants to make a sperm recepticle out of her! Haha sooo funny! That poor skank heidi, she is such a people pleaser. Look how she reads this site! So pathetic! Notice how she keeps that vile thing called a mouth of hers closed no in most of the shots cause she read here how nausiating it was to us. Well since your such a people pleasin acomodator, Heidi please admit that dork spencer has a tiny dick, then kill him and your self!!! Please!!!! it will make us all so pleased!!! Your song sounds like my 8 year old sister put it together. You just go to show how ignorant American people are that anyone would give you a chance to make innocent peoples ears bleed. R u serious Heidi? I’m so glad you live your life that way! its the best revenge! (Cuz your life is all about ego meaning =empty!

  29. haroof

    the most vapid, empty headed bimbo on the planet.

    i can’t believe this chick is making money by doing absolutely nothing. it’s really one of the great mysteries of life.

  30. Greasy Weezel

    Goofy or not … She’s hot!

  31. Lola

    Wait, her ID card says she’s black….. HEIDI, you got some “splaining to do…. LMAO

    I’d rather have R. Kelly pee in my ears than have to listen to anything that comes out of either of these retarded monkeys

  32. Deacon Jones

    I heard the record producer went home after recording this and blew his head off.

  33. em

    this will be huge in Japan.

  34. Rick

    At least she’s got a hot body, unlike those blimps that get called “curvy” and “normal” because they eat like pigs.

  35. Toto Too

    I have a general question, because I have nothing to say about this nobody. Is it possible to have big tattoos and not hate yourself? It just seems like self-mutilation.

  36. Grunion

    I smell a hit. Oh wait that’s actually my nuts, kinda hot here today.

  37. I Spel and Gramer Good

    totto,
    i lvoed yu inn thw wizerd of ozz. in naswer to yor quseiton yes you mustt haeight youreslef tp geyt tattfooos all ovar yoour skint loik yondar at amee shitthourse four an exemaplar.

  38. megan

    Let me just show you all the lyrics to the first verse:
    I am, I’m too fabu-lous
    I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts
    I live, to be model thin
    Dress me, I’m your manne-quin

    She lives to be model thin. Let’s hope she starves herself into oblivion so we don’t have to hear anymore of this crap.

  39. Winner?

    Top prize goes to the person who can get her driver’s license number off that first photo.

    Looks like she has an organ donor sticker on there. I pity any recipient in advance.

  40. I Spel and Gramer Good

    Eyed luve too see her donatte herr orgins.

  41. I Spel and Gramer Good

    eyed likke to sea herr donatte spensirs organ two ala loranena boobiitt

  42. ldsqtbea

    her music sucks and has a weird face, but gosh, she (most of the time) has an awesome fashion sense … and has a really nice body

  43. Crumb

    Tattoos are an artistic way to express yourself. You don’t have to hate yourself to get tattoos otherwise a large majority of people would truly hate themselves. Just because you don’t prefer to have them on your body doesn’t make everyone else wrong for what they like.

  44. JimmyBachaFungool

    She sucks. He sucks. But the superficial should stop putting them on here. It was funny at first with the posed shots but the repeated stories are giving them cred. They need to go away. Untalented, boring and smug..please see that they never are on here again.

  45. @44 – whatever. Tattoos are for white trash and street nigs.

  46. I’m going to hurt myself.

  47. tig

    Here we go, again — once again, kitties. Hate is the new adoration. MTV, US mag recognize that hate sells. Superficial is on the payroll, keeping their keen little faces on the front page.

  48. missywissy

    WHaaaaaat the????????????????????

    Was that supposed to be a REAL song??????

    Spencer must be punking her, and somebody is punking him, and their entire celeberty status is a complete hoax on America.

  49. mikey

    why, god?

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