Heidi Montag releases new single (OMG!)

March 25th, 2008 // 84 Comments

After the rousing pseudo-success of Heidi Montag’s first single “Higher,” I presented to you her latest single “No More.” (Audio after the jump.) This single, unfortunately, wasn’t accompanied by a low-budget video of Heidi in a bikini to soften the crushing blow of the music. So, because I love you guys, I included bikini pics of America’s fakest sweetheart. You know, it says something when your record company won’t even fork over the dough for a video when they could market the hell out of it during the new season of The Hills. I’m not really sure what that says exactly but, God willing, it translates out to “Heidi, please, get eaten by piranhas.”

superficial

  1. Jumpin_J

    Hey Fish, why should her record company shell out money to market her? YOU’RE DOING IT FOR THEM! Now who’s the sucker?

    And yeah, sex tape already. Definately sex tape.

  2. Double D.

    What is up with this chick and her douchebag boyfriend?

    Her face is uglier than a bag of smashed assholes and she couldn’t carry a tune in a fuckin’ bucket. Why do we care? Do we are? why am I even writing this- I need a life almost as much as these two dillholes

  3. Randal

    Great back beat going on with the piano gently playing lightly behind her voice, which strange enough, is digitized, much like the recent Britney Spears album, which could never be duplicated to that level again by any artist.

    Hopefully this particular sound does not become the new wave; I’d rather be forced to listen to hip-hop. It only sounds good with Britney.

    All thumbs down on this one folks.

    Randal

  4. big teeth

    Hey superficial guy, if you’re going to post photos of these tools, at least write something funny to go along with them.. otherwise you’re just another publicity/gossip website. It seems to me that this site used to eviscerate these clowns, not shill for them. Where did the guy go who did that?

  5. Spencer

    I always love it when wanna be singers need to use a voice coder in order for them to sing in tune. Terrible.

  6. Jae

    their lives are extremely pathetic. they run around posing and waiting for a camera to show up. i wonder if heidi ever thinks “what the fuck happened to my life?”. seriously stop writing stories about them, because they’re loving the attention. they’d probably even love this comment just because it’s about them. ok i’m gonna stop talking about them….. now.

  7. Caminador

    I’m pretty sure this music was made with Garageband…Honestly, who listens to this “final product” and says “Yes”? To anything. To its release, to her, to the continuation of life….
    She probably tells people the producer was really cool and “put these um cool vocal effects in the song because he said it would, like, sound way better”. No, those aren’t effects, Heidi. When auto-tune is used on every note you sing, you become Robot Voice. Every song you do will sound like that because you’re talentless. Just do porn.

  8. Stewy

    I wish this girl would just realize that there is a lucrative future for her in the entertainment industry. One where she can display all of her talents, and get paid a lot of money for it… It’s called PORN!

    With jenna Jameson wilting away in her old age, there has to be some nimbwitted siren she can hand the torch off to. I nominate this scag as the “one” to take us to that place called “masterbation nirvana.”

    She is a useless whore with fake tits. What’s the big deal? Just hang out on Melrose and you can see hundreds of them a day! Please stop giving this bimbo coverage. Please????????

    PS: I beat the crap out of her boyfriend once. True Story! he fights like a little girl.

  9. Stewy

    I wish this girl would just realize that there is a lucrative future for her in the entertainment industry. One where she can display all of her talents, and get paid a lot of money for it… It’s called PORN!

    With jenna Jameson wilting away in her old age, there has to be some nimbwitted siren she can hand the torch off to. I nominate this scag as the “one” to take us to that place called “masterbation nirvana.”

    She is a useless whore with fake tits. What’s the big deal? Just hang out on Melrose and you can see hundreds of them a day! Please stop giving this bimbo coverage. Please????????

    PS: I beat the crap out of her boyfriend once. True Story! he fights like a little girl.

  10. T

    She ain’t singing, a computer is.

  11. T

    She ain’t singing, a computer is.

  12. savy

    such a butterface. another terrible song, congrats.

  13. arbitrary albatross

    I kind of feel like even if there was a sex tape, it would be ten minutes of awkward prom night style fumbling, five minutes of her completely over-acting and drawing out her fake orgasm, then half an hour of him weeping with his back to the camera and her posing and bitching about her angles.

    That said, I’d probably watch it anyway.

  14. AliCat

    I can’t understand a damn thing this stupid bitch is saying.

  15. Bush

    She is so lovely and large sexy.I saw her many times in millonaire dating site “W e a l t h y L o v i n g .c o m “.What kind of relation she want in this site?

  16. Tom

    whitewomensuck.blogspot.com

  17. Jakey

    Wow. Is her voice actually in there, or did the pitch modulator just say “Ah, just shut the fuck up and lemme take over.”

  18. ladylindsay

    Please stop posting stories about this talentless famewhore and her “boyfriend.”

  19. Coyote Bitch!

    C’mon guys its not that bad !!!! Go heidi luv yaaa :)

  20. Pilatunes

    Would shooting these two actually be a crime?

  21. x

    what am i the only one who thinks she has a great body? much better than most celebs

  22. Jen

    She sounds like a computer. Such talent! …And when I refer to talent, I am talking about the genius computer nerds who edited her singing voice to make it sound like a computer…. but a computer that actually knows how to sing… Too bad Heidi isn’t a computer and too bad she doesn’t know how to sing.

  23. She should film the video in a tanktop, braless, while jumping on a trampoline. No panning, just steady focus from the neck to the navel. Sure her boobs wouldn’t move much, even during an 8.0 earthquake, but it would be fun to watch. Then at the end she can fall off and sustani a serious spinal injury which would require her to get the tupperware out of her chest, to relieve pressure on her shoulders. Yes, I have it all figured out.

  24. fygu

    I didn’t listen to it. I wish I had her body, minus the fake tits. That Spencer guy looks homo.

  25. Grunion

    I wish her tits could sing. then I might listen.

  26. Mobby

    Who went here for the video???
    I WENT HERE FOR THE MILK

  27. momo

    really her mug aint bad, and this is a definitive killer body i
    If you lke them that big amd fake…
    .
    but the song really really is poignant..

    Once again I have to say Please pleae listen to the words people
    really

    (NAHHH,j Im still kidding, that song sucks )

  28. laurie

    So bad, this girl has no talent… the lyrics are stupids and unoriginals….

  29. CS

    I don’t know who she is, but she is one hot piece of ass. Damn, I’d hit that over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over again.

  30. Tracy

    Heidi & Spencer make me start to hate America until I read everyone’s comments & realize there is still some sanity. Number 24… you rock!

  31. King Wang

    I have no idea who this gal is. Problem: After a while, all the plastic Barbies manufactured in China usually kill their owners because of (A)Lead-Based Paint or (B) Because overly large tits won’t necessarily stop you from drowning when you are dumb enough to think they are flotation devices.

    This is proof the Titanic went down for a reason. So we can have more of her, and anyone with the last name Simpson or Spears.

  32. gin

    Assclowns

  33. KickRocks

    why is a robot singing this song?

  34. heidi montag fan

    omg stop making fun of her, so what if she’s retarded and has no talent. wait i don’t know where i am going with this. i wonder if she forgets to breath sometimes.

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