Heidi Montag rehearses her ‘music’

August 23rd, 2009 // 69 Comments

Here’s Heidi Montag rehearsing in the Bahamas on Friday and Saturday for her performance at tonight’s 2009 Miss Universe Pageant, and you know what I love most about these pics? No audio. Say what you want about Heidi, but at the end of the day, that’s the kind of body you want to see attached to a mute woman whose secretly gay husband fell off a cliff. Don’t deny what’s in your heart.

superficial

  1. EatIt

    Eat shit.

  2. Tal

    first!

  3. Xander Harris

    Um awkward question… are they ALL trannies? No, I’m being serious, every one of her backup dancers (and heidi herself) all look like they, at one point or another, were or are men.

  4. bubba

    Hey #1 (Spencer) — you’re worthless.

  5. Xander Harris

    Not that there’s anything wrong with trannies… more power to ‘em. It… just doesn’t seem like heidi’s style. Unless… OF COURSE! SHE’S ONE OF THEM!! I get it now.
    Do I win a prize? is that prize lighting Spencer Pratt on fire? I’d like that.

  6. Charlie

    What a twat!

  7. wick

    It takes a lot of self-loathing to have so much plastic surgery so early in one’s life.

  8. id hit it!

    if i were a bat, with spikes dipped in rubbing alcohol. she sucks

  9. calypso

    Look at that CHIN! Jesus Christ! If she had plastic surgery, why didn’t she get that damn thing shaved down a bit? You could land a jet on it.

  10. Martina

    Wow, she’s a singer? Who knew!
    Heidi, Heidi, Heidi – where’s that sex tape?

  11. JJ

    Wow. She totally copied the Britney Spears sparkly nude suit from the VMAs back in 2000. C’mon Heidi…

  12. Photoshop Police

    STOP GIVING THESE NO-TALENT DOUCHEBAGS PRESS!

    - end of message

  13. the dude

    good lord, I’m tossed on the best comment to leave here:

    jesus invented makeup specifically for heidi montag

    I hope that bedazzled paper bag isn’t her actual costume for the event.

    she can stop with “i’m a blow up doll” pose any day now

    is the mic wire supposed to be overly obvious to trick us into thinking she’s NOT lip syncing?

  14. the dude

    good lord, I’m tossed on the best comment to leave here:

    jesus invented makeup specifically for heidi montag

    I hope that bedazzled paper bag isn’t her actual costume for the event.

    she can stop with “i’m a blow up doll” pose any day now

    is the mic wire supposed to be overly obvious to trick us into thinking she’s NOT lip syncing?

  15. Heidi Montag rehearses Wow, she’s a singer? Who knew!

  16. Mike

    WTF!!! This is a rip-off of Britney at the vma’s 2000

    http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/3290/195353.jpg

  17. fl

    ok, too much Heidi Montag shite on this site now. boring.
    moving on.
    its been nice,
    cheers

  18. GOD ALMIGHTY

    GOD ALMIGHTY DOES NOT APPROVE.

    P.S.
    POST MORE MILLA. :)

  19. Vince Lombardi

    No, you’re not mistaken. Every one of those backup dancers are transsexuals.

  20. Intermino

    The only thing I like about her is her body.

  21. Why do they wear those head-mics when they’re lip-syncing anyway?

  22. What the hell is this freakshow bimbo wearing. Is she at the BEACH?

  23. Frank

    Hate her, but any dude who says he wouldn’t absolutely wreck that body is lying. Those melons in that tank top are RIPE.

  24. Anyone else notice how all of her back up dancers are BRUNETTE? She’s the only blonde. Why does she always have to try and be the center of attention?? It’s kinda pathetic…lol

  25. Pam

    Someone call Jenny Craig and help them plan an intervention for this fat pig.

  26. superstar

    She looks like she’s gained a few lbs.

  27. twzzlrgirl

    Those are the uglies backup dancers EVER.

    Also, why does Heidi look like she’s cumming and/or about to give a blow job in so many of those pics? It’s like they are the only poses she knows. She really IS only good for porn!!!

  28. guest

    UGH!
    Why does she get so much attention!?

    NOBODY

    CARES

    ABOUT

    HER

    !!!!

  29. Emily

    I would like to just draw attention to the small, strange man at the bottom right of the first picture. The one who looks like he is made out of some sort of cardboard?
    Hmm…

  30. kimberly

    I love how she always sluts it up “for Jesus”.

  31. Hugh Gentry

    Heidi has quite the bod. I’d luv to detail that thing

  32. Mama Pinkus

    it’s pretty bad when you can tell a performer sucks from pictures only

  33. F it

    She has an awesome body. Buy she is married to a douche. Deduct <3> for the hubby. She rates a 5 after the deduct.

  34. adam

    I think the back up dancer is Andy Dick in a Suri Cruise wig

  35. Somebody like Heidi Montag is the epitome of misguided adoration. She has a decent body but has somehow made it into the limelight and gets paid $500k to pose for Playboy. We hear about her all the time on every rag publication and what has she done. Spencer is even worse. He is nothing more than a pimp want-to-be and tags along behind his hot women.

    http://journalstone.com/2009/08/12/motivational-inspiration-or-misguided-aspirations/

  36. Somebody like Heidi Montag is the epitome of misguided adoration. She has a decent body but has somehow made it into the limelight and gets paid $500k to pose for Playboy. We hear about her all the time on every rag publication and what has she done. Spencer is even worse. He is nothing more than a pimp want-to-be and tags along behind his hot women.

  37. Randal

    Heidi, you’re looking great! It’s nice to see some fresh talent moving forward in the industry and keeping it real. The pictures you provide are a window into a glamorous life style, yet you’re still able to connect to everyday folks.

    Amazing outfit by the way, simply stunning!

    Randal

  38. Dweezel

    She has stubby little legs.

  39. Dr. Zulu

    You know what, I think she looks just like OctoMom but with blond hair. I’m sure they must both use the same plastic surgeon, and he should quit and kill himself after seeing what his work has turned them into.

  40. spicy

    Randall– Seriously??

    I will agree with you on Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose’s ass, but I need you to take back every sentence you wrote about heidi or else i will have to cut off your balls.

  41. THAT_GIRL_JENN

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    PERFECT BODY?

    HOW DOES SOMEONE WHO HAD THEIR BODY ALTERED HAVE THE PERFECT BODY? SHE IS FAKE FAKE FAKE. SO BEING FAKE MUST BE THE WAY TO HAVE A PERFECT BODY? EW. GIVE ME KIM ANYDAY.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  42. batman

    I like the look in Spencer´s face on the 1st. pic…
    That´s him, right?

  43. Jumper

    Does anyone think she knows she’s a joke yet? Jesus, I watched her bullshit to laugh but it was just sad. Please fish, make it stop. Her fifteen minutes have to be up…

  44. friendlyfires

    This is why I stopped watching the Miss Universe contest … besides, I’ve got Winona Ryder and Ignatz Mouse … I mean Chrtinina Ricci to keep me company … hey, you all like the body on Christina? You’re welcome. I suffered but enjoyed nonetheless. nuff said

  45. ginger

    she looks like chris crocker…
    and i think one of the back up dancers is a dude

  46. #42…THAT GIRL JENN….are you ALWAYS so bitter? Fuck child, get some self-esteem. I agree that Heidi is fake, but you seem to bitch about the same things over and over. Same shit, different day. Go enroll yourself in an, “I Love Me” class or twelve.

  47. That is the best picture in the set, she looks great, wish i could say it about her singing.

  48. bribios

    Best body money can buy. If only you could do something with that whole head region.

  49. Fly

    mummmm i like to fuck in her mouth and tight ass hole ohh what a nice fucking body come suck my dick baby !!!!!!!!!!! i love you

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