Heidi Montag missed a spot

March 18th, 2010 // 155 Comments

I honestly don’t know if there’s anything specifically wrong with Heidi Montag’s ass cheeks in these photos, but I do know just posting them here will make her drop another small fortune on surgeries until she looks like a bleached Kim Kardashian or strokes out trying. On that note, I’ll be mentally preparing myself for Heidi looking like Robocop in five years and me still wanting to touch her boobs. (You can’t fight destiny.)


  1. Strarzzenberry

    @50… Ha… I thought you meant: get Tipsy like Lindsay!


    Heidi Montag missed a spot

    Very funny headline, by the way.

  3. geraldang

    her face got fat

  4. The Chill

    Looks fine. Me, her and a couple dabs of petroleum jelly spells party!

  5. Ryan the Canadian

    The first shot was taken with a high quality lense. Love the bokeh. As for Heidi……she ruined herself when she converted her upper body to plastic. She has become a living plastic doll, married to a douche, living in Los Bonality, California. We live in fantastic times.

  6. gotmilk?

    her legs only look decent because she’s wearing 5″ heels. and even then, she’s dangerously close to having cankles.

    #6, did you bother even looking at her face? seriously, look at picture 18. who would want to look like that?

  7. Krys

    Uh…what ass are we speaking of? This chick got ass implants, and from behind, she still looks like a 10 year old girl. If that’s your thing, who am I to judge, but no thanks. I’m in no way jealous of this chick or her expensive, prepubescent looking “booty.” This chick just got butt implants and lipo, she’s not even toned. Jessica Biel and Shakira…. those are some examples of a nice ass.
    Anyway, I think Heidi looks better than I’ve seen her look since her surgeries. Her face looks pretty and not “plasticy”. I’d like her outfit as well if her shorts were maybe an inch longer. She’s got nice legs, and short shorts are cute, but if you’re not on the beach and your ass cheeks are hanging out, you just kinda look silly.

  8. Ariana D

    Ok as much as this girl annoys the hell out of me and I think she absolutely is a fame whore and lacks talent.

    i would looooooooove to have that girls legs.. she is fine from the waist down..

    ah!.. why her.. why her! lol.

  9. asdf

    Man. Can we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE *PLEASE* stop it with this woman. WHO. CARES.

  10. Mr. Nice Guy

    She looks Great. Bottow line is I would rather be with her than YOU.

  11. Ho Ho Ho

    That’s a nice look for a Christian lady.

    How come all the “Christian” females I know dress like whores, have fake tits, and bleached blonde hair, and yet, they are about the unsexiest creatures on the planet.

  12. sborrainboc

    This bitch has such great fap-worthy legs. Too bad she fucked up her face like that.


  13. Girl

    # 60.. Mr. Nice Guy…

    but I can have a conversation *and* I am great in bed, I don’t see why she would be better. She is so fake and shallow, what the fuck does she know, other than how to whore herself out??

    I, at least. can suck a D and know I am doing a damn good job. Maybe I don’t look like a Barbie doll, but wouldn’t you rather it feel fucking amazing then having this bimbo slobbering all over your dick bc she has no brains??

    Hm. I mean, she already has whored herself out so much, if she was seriously talented wouldn’t she just make a porn or video of some sort to prove it? Otherwise I see nothing but a fucking shallow whore.

  14. asdf

    she makes even TARA REID look good

  15. See

    she looked way way better before…

  16. Mikey Budters

    God bless porn stars and the women who want to look like them. There’s a reason Jesse James, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, Bruce Willis and other assorted successful men want to fuck porn stars or women that look like them. Do a google search on Sindee Jennings or Courtney James and sop up the drool.

  17. FAB

    I’d die to know what brand heels she’s wearing! They’re GORGE.

  18. Fredericj Salmão

    God only knows how better the world would be if all girls looked like her, intead of fat ass bitches with flat tits

  19. Dn

    @ 66
    I googled ‘em. They are whore-rific. Heidi’s hotter than them, though, IMO. Even before she had the plastic over haul. Besides, there’s something delectably wicked about coercing a self professed Christian girl into doing the shit those two hose hounds are doing.

  20. Pia

    @6- and who are you, Gerard Butler? Brad Pitt? It doesn’t matter how many girls look like Heidi, because you’ll never get anything that hot. Better start saving up for your own work.

    And to all the other guys who are assuming that every girl on here is some fat, ugly piece of crap- look around. Does your girlfriend look like Heidi? Do you even have a girlfriend? Get over yourself now or you are never going to be happy. It’s not like you’ll ever be rich enough to pull a Tiger Woods.

    That being said, I think she actually looks pretty good right now. Looks like she has trouble smiling, though. I can’t wait to see what she looks like in 5, 10, 20 years if she hasn’t killed herself by then for not living up to her own crazy standards.

  21. Trick

    Where is Spencer? For the longest time you couldn’t get a picture of Heidi without her barking laptop weaseling his way into the picture.

    How long before she dumps that douchebag?

  22. Elena

    She looks really good from far away and then the closer you get..

  23. Jan

    Her body is pretty, though the tits are a little much. Makes me miss having bulimia.

  24. eddie sucks

    Eddie, you think “most chicks need work” because your idea of a woman comes from She Ra. Go back to your pathetic little dungeons and dragons game, where you role play to achieve your orgasms.

  25. Girl

    LOL #74 <333333

    Seriously I am sick of these pathetic, no-good losers making me question my own integrity because I sport the body I was given. These comments are sick as fuck; I cannot believe men are now trashing “real” women because we don’t all feel compelled to go under the knife just to make you sick mother fuckers happy.

    I totally, 100% blame this phenomena on today’s over-explosion of porn. It is so fucked up, it seriously trashes everything that we live for and degrades both men and women. To make me feel bad for not having implants is just sick and wrong, I want to bare my natural tits and be able to be proud doing so. Fuck all of you scumbags… straight fucking scumbags. You should all go purchase Real Dolls instead, I’d rather fuck a bear than this pathetic existence we refer to as “men” these days.

    Pricks, assholes. Wow this post has a lot of negativity and hate.

  26. weirdo

    Her asshole must be really hungry because it’s trying to eat her shorts!

  27. Mr. Nice Guy

    63. Girl I am willing to give you a try. I will also be happy to report back to the Group.

  28. pooter

    I’m effin sick of this bitch where the fuck is Tila Tequila when you need her. Randal, do you think you could ask them to do a three-way with me?

  29. #56, CANKLES, really? You’re fucking twisted. I can’t stand the girl, but give me a break. People now days are over using the word cankles. Just because someone doesnt have rail thin ankles (which her’s seem normal to me), in no way justifies them at fucking CANKLES. You are an idiot. Anyway, does she ever get tired of applying those damn fake eyelashes? I have a couple pairs that I wear occasionally when I go out and they irritate the hell out of my eyes.

  30. P.S. That outfit would be really cute if the shorts were a few inches longer and the shoes were khaki colored or black.

  31. Mr. Nice Guy

    Alli, the Shorts are Long Enough.
    FYI- Leave the Make-Up to Real Women.

  32. emmaleigh

    So, she is uglier than before. She may not have that wonk chin, but she’s still fuckin homely looking. I’m much prettier than her. I’m a 7.5, she’s def no more than a 5. Her body may be a 8 though. would be a ten if she werent so damn skinny and her boobs were back to the size they were after only one surgery.

  33. I thought she was suppose to be filming that Jennifer Aniston movie all week? What is she doing back filming the hills? She definitely made the role sound bigger than it is and she filmed a one day cameo. And the press needs to stop acting like she is Jen’s co-star. If she was dong this movie with Jen, why was Jen in NYC promoting the TBH the day Heidi was filming her scenes? Hehehe.

  34. No one

    What a drag to have to spend so much time getting made up EVERY SINGLE DAY. But then again, when you’ve got nothing else to do…

  35. tc

    There is something *VERY* wrong about her ass.

    …it doesn’t have my cock in it.

  36. DONT STOP!

    dont stop posting stuff about heidi!!!!!!! its the best!, like who doesnt get turned on by that

  37. brain person

    34 – Completely agree. It’s like she is just a shell of what she used to be.

    SO not jealous of her. For people who don’t know, breast implant surgery puts sacks of a foreign substance into your body and the doctors have to redo the surgery every 10 years or less to replace them or you risk them rupturing and leaving a whole lot of foreign shit that your body can’t remove. You also risk growing scar tissue around the incision site that hardens and feels like a rock. Risks increase with each procedure. Hmm. Sexy.

    But the implants are not the thing that’s so disturbing about her, it’s the low self-esteem. She’s like a crippled shell of a human being whose only validation comes from looking like a blow up doll – and not a very good one at that. So for the jackasses who say we are jealous, it’s bullshit. She used to be beautiful and healthy. Now her face is well on the way to looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein and her entire personality is that of an idiot. She’d be great in a remake of the Stepford Wives.

    It’s terrible to see someone do that to their own body.

    As for her legs looking nice, that’s probably because she hasn’t butchered them with plastic surgery like her face – just some lipo and nothing else.

  38. Fati87

    She might be a complete moron, but she looks amazing. I love her outfit too.

  39. notice her handbag

  40. She might be a complete moron, but she looks amazing. I love her outfit too

  41. Go back to your pathetic little dungeons and dragons game, where you role play to achieve your orgasms

  42. Seriously though, she needs to get the pressure equalized in her buttocks, or her heels could wear unevenly. She might drift to one side and crash into a hot dog stand.

  43. What a drag to have to spend so much time getting made up EVERY SINGLE DAY. But then again, when you’ve got nothing else to do…

  44. …it doesn’t have my cock in it

  45. captain america

    a new ass shits better?

  46. Ilan Ben Menachem

    Sexy and hot back side

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