Heidi Montag missed a spot

March 18th, 2010 // 155 Comments

I honestly don’t know if there’s anything specifically wrong with Heidi Montag’s ass cheeks in these photos, but I do know just posting them here will make her drop another small fortune on surgeries until she looks like a bleached Kim Kardashian or strokes out trying. On that note, I’ll be mentally preparing myself for Heidi looking like Robocop in five years and me still wanting to touch her boobs. (You can’t fight destiny.)


  1. First


  2. uncle Rough

    2 sniff up from me. That’s for sure

  3. Jessica

    Shockingly, she actually looks great here…

  4. Jimmy

    TBH, her rear end looks especially nice. I think it might be Kim who would want to tone up her rear end before it looks like a pair of bowling balls attached to her backside…And just so you know, I love rear ends, but when you have more than a handful, you’re asking for trouble, and Kim is a whole lot of trouble!

  5. BigJBone

    Man, Heidi’s pancake ass sure gets me all hot and bothered!

  6. I don’t really know why people hate on this chick. I’ve never seen any show she’s on. All I see is a smoking hot chick. I don’t care if she’s plastic. She’s an example of great plastic surgery. All women should save up to make themselves look this good if possible … let’s face it, most of you chicks need work.

  7. Selam?n aleykum :=)

  8. Courtyardpigeon

    Why do they take photos of her all the time? No wonder other countries hate the US.

  9. Sammie

    I think that she looks great too. I like that she’s not wearing a lot of make up. I think that the surgeries have made her look older tho. Just look at her face, she looks 30!

  10. beats

    Seriously, every man who isn’t gay would love to have her walking next to him on a shopping trip such as this one. And if you aren’t gay and still would not want her, then you have a fat ppl fetish and you can not be helped anyways. She’s still got a decent face, amazing body and those heels with those legs are a dream.

    She might not be the smartest, but sure enough got damn good looks. A truly defined american trophywife!!!

  11. Tine

    Please tell me who goes on walking the street like that..except someone screaming for attention. The heels, her ass haning out of her shorts. You can’t help but feel sorry for someone like that who can’t just dress like a lady. Reminds me an old friend of mine. The class slut who apparently must have had one hell of a childhood. She has nice legs, but the boobs. Come on now. I still don’t get the point of having an augmentaion done when those things look in no way or form like they are soft or natural. Then again, if she’s going for the porn star, look at me look..she got it.

  12. tina


  13. loserboy

    why are her legs two different colors

  14. Valerie

    She looks great, but pic 5 is a bit sad. Really can tell the p.s. in that one–just looks odd.

  15. Tek

    This will probably be deleted, but for the guys in denial dissing Kim Kardashian and praising this broad, enjoy the following:


    Cellulite and cottage cheese galore. Shockingly (sarcasm), Fish didn’t add that pic to the 2 or 3 posts he did of Heidi a couple of days ago.

  16. Natalie

    She must have body dysmorphic disorder. She looked beautiful before. She looks so much older after all that surgery. Now her jawline looks really weird. After they filed down her chin or whatever, it looks like she has a man jaw. And she’s dressed like a whore. I feel bad for her.

  17. SO RIGHT

    She looked better before — natural and non-plasticky. Her legs and butt look great but those breasts just make her look top-heavy and nothing else.

  18. Dread not

    That’s awesome.

  19. sandra

    I am in no way jealous, though all of you dirty pigs will insist, but she does not look good! I don’t know if one piece of her isn’t surgically enhanced anymore. She has such low self esteem,walking around in shorts like that with her cheeks hanging out, screaming for some kind of attention. And the legs look like she has never stepped foot in a gym. Where is any muscle tone? She is definitely striving to look like Barbie, and I just don’t think that’s most desirable anymore.

  20. Parker

    I used to think I’d be happy to have anal sex with her. Now I’d do it only under duress or if she promised to kill her douchebag husband.

  21. Fuckbox of Dumb

    @15: Fish probably didn’t post it because that shit’s obviously photoshopped. Her thighs in these shots don’t even match that photo, dumbass. But nice try with your viral marketing disguised in a tired sellout meme. Fucking Internet stooge.

  22. Jack

    Ho Bag.

  23. Sport

    She should do SciFi porn. That way they could CGI her fucked up face and still utilize a very nicely built SciFi body.

  24. I’m going back to my other celeb gossip sites. Fuck this everyday coverage of Heidi Montag. The Fish might as well just become this:


  25. dude

    Amen #21.

  26. umm...

    that ass could easily belong to a 13 year old.

    still hot though.

  27. Luz

    @6 all women should save up to look as good as possible?? Are you insane? Why should we spend money putting crap in our bodies to please loser pricks like you? I highly doubt you are worthy of us natural beauties or the plastics.

  28. immune

    pic 5 is gwyneth paltrow with a boob job, right?!?!?

  29. Beeotch

    Tell this ho that if she doesn’t quit it with these plastic surgeries, she is going to melt like MJ!

  30. Nero


  31. NG

    She has a better ass than that fat whore Kim Kardashian. At least Heidi is thin enough to wear those shorts. Fat Kim would need tent.

  32. Lou

    I hate this cunt, but from behind she is super hot. She would be a mind-melting doggy fuck fer sure.

  33. Rhialto

    You can tell that she’s ready to overtake Hollywood and willing to work hard for that.*Unzips pants*

  34. GIrl

    I agree with #19. I don’t give a fuck if I’m not plastic or as hot as a Brazilian model… I can say that I in no way am jealous of her look. She looks completely trashy, walking around with ass cheeks hanging out.
    She doesn’t fucking look good. That is not acceptable. Those pink heels are horrible, she makes a Hermes Birkin bag look like it came from Wal-Mart. Why would they sell her one??

    I mean seriously, all you men are such fucking animals. You see ass cheeks or nice legs or extremely large breasts and all the sudden its, SHE LOOKS GOOD. She is not effing real, get over it, you’re never going to have a chick that looks like this ever. She’s dumb and empty inside and has serious mental issues. I’m glad that’s what attracts men now-a-days, and this is evident in the way porn culture has blown up. It seriously gives me no hope for our race, and it makes me feel inferior to these bimbos who have daddy issues or major self-esteem problems.

    So… if you have zero self-esteem, a want to be exploited in many ways, that is what is sexy/hot these days? How do I jump on this train?

  35. Brian0523

    This is the horseface’s best side.

  36. Tek

    @ #21
    Spencer, is that you? Why so angry? Haha! The papparazzi just caught her from a different angle, man. Stop bitching. LOL @ obviously photoshoped. In denial much, are you?

    BTW, WTF is a meme?

  37. Darth

    Well,well,i feel good chemistry beteen us.Because you’re wearing exactly what i had in mind. . Do you really want to cooperate with me?!

  38. Darth

    A whole lot of things are essential in Hollywood for big succes.One of the main-ingredients is a good chemistry. . .

  39. Only fat and ugly chicks describe themselves as “natural beauties” and cry out low self esteem when faced with a hot chick in hot clothes. Speaking of hot, how is it under that black baggy sweater today, ladies?

  40. Pablo

    Her tits should be mounted next to the Mona Lisa and the statue of David as one one the greatest works of art humankind has ever witnesses.

  41. Keith

    Those legs in pic #13 are a gift from God. It’s like the proverbial stairway to heaven, with St. Peter residing in her golden love tunnel.

  42. me

    oh my dior….she’s so trashy.

  43. I swear am I the only one that thinks she looks like the White girl from “White Chicks” you when Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans dress up as the white chicks..!

  44. Strarzzenberry

    There’s no life in her eyes… it’s so sad.
    She reminds me of the movie Death Becomes Her… I’m waiting for her to trip down the steps and crack into a million pieces.

  45. Ego

    Dude! I would so wreck her. Daddy likes!!

  46. Shewolf

    Dude she’s hot. I’d flaunt it like that too if i had that body

  47. Nameless

    Still got the Buttaface.

  48. ffdfddf

    There’s girls at my school who follow these dumbass celebs and wear 5 inch heals like that around. Watching them waddle is the most amusing shit eva.

  49. She probably needs another 8 psi of air back there. I heard if you inflate with nitrogen it doesn’t leak out as fast. Also less dangerous in a fire.

    @ 24 – DUDE! Awesome site! I made it my homepage.

    41 – “Those legs in pic #13 are a gift from God.”
    Actually I think they’re from Acme Plastics.

  50. ffdfddf

    12, She’s not just “walking around town,” this was a photo shoot. Any time a celeb is “walking around town” and snapped by the paparazzi…it’s no accident. It’s just that Heidi is too dumb to realize you’re supposed to play it cool like you didn’t call them. She should get tips from Lindsay.

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