Heidi Montag fashions: For today’s street whore

April 14th, 2008 // 149 Comments

Heidi Montag launched her new clothing line Heidiwood over the weekend which she previously described as “fun and flirty for the everyday woman.” Since I’m freaking bad to the ass, I came up with a more appropriate slogan:

Heidiwood: Clothing designed exclusively by and for the everyday skank – who loves looking classy!

Everyday skank seen here not included. Doucehole boyfriend sold separately. Heidiwood does not endorse or condone breast augmentation devices but you’re pretty much super retarded and should die if you don’t have them. P.S. Lauren Conrad has a smelly vagina.

superficial

  1. Kssy

    Anyone remember that show Roseanne? This bitch looks like the white-trash friend Crystal!! Man chin and all!!

  2. So – 104, 105
    We all know you’re shills – but welcome to the site anyway.
    And you seem to be deliberately avoiding the question, much like ALL the American presidential candidates……
    (Cliff Notes : Maybe not Nader.)
    Inside job ?

  3. Will

    #81 Great legs, great ass, great fake tits, whore. yes, nobody can deny it after you saw the nude photos of her at naturistlive.com. She is seeking a man. that is told in her profile at that web.

  4. As shills go – I think this #96 ‘Internet Tough guy’ should probably get back to flippin’ the burgers. He’s been spotted.
    Binky: I’m afraid you’re going to go elitist on us Cliff. Get grounded.

  5. Ghost of Arthur C.Clarke : I didn’t even have a fucking robot – You loser civilization.. I’m out of here. Finally. But what was that last thing you said there? A little while back. It was an inside what ?
    Cliff Notes : Job

  6. kevin

    she is a cheap whore !

  7. King Wang

    Uhhhhhh………….I do believe your “Alien Thought Reading” helmets are over there in the corner where you left them, with the rest of the tinfoil……

    Anywho- None of the above.

    I consider this current presidential election (which has exactly jack shit to do with anything about this article) to be a Grand Celestial Joke.

    In short version: We are fucked, no matter who we get.

    I can’t even vote for the lesser of the 3 retards, because each are equally retarded. I will vote for Nader when that funky ass plague/flu hits us, and we are down the entire government. Even then, out of 22 votes, and him being the sole candidate, there will be some write-ins I am betting.

    As for the others- McCain, because he is a vet like I am. Most definitely not because of anything else, that’s for damned sure.

    The Dems are weak, and stupid, as usual. I am a registered Dem. Haven’t voted but ONCE as a Dem (in the generals). The Elephants are not much better.

    I was considering petitioning to bring back the Whigs, but fuck it, we got enough nutcase Indy’s out there to make up for it.

    Normal ain’t so damned normal no more. The only inside job I know of is most likely the assassination attempts that will occur slightly after elections are held…….

  8. Well she’s for McCain Kev – and never registered to vote.
    Who were you expecting ? – Mother Theresa ?

  9. Bess

    Hasn’t this trashy outfit been done a million times?

  10. Oh – we have a live one !!!
    #111 you seem like a real ‘intellectual’.
    How about ‘free fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure’
    Stand down of Norad. Molten Metal in the ruins. Bush and Chaney refuse to testify under oath. Building seven. ‘My pet goat’ that type of thing.
    Comments ?

  11. #111′s “Alien Thought Reading” helmets are over there in the corner where you left them, with the rest of the tinfoil….”
    {Careful Knee – You could be dealing with a professional comedian here. Or some sort of psycho. I’d maybe counter quietly with a “Ha Ha -Very Funny” and then maybe mention , well I don’t know…
    maybe ‘reality’ would be a good counter to bring in at this point)
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : Tanx for the ‘head up’ Cliff – previously Frank from 16th floor and I always thought you a bit of an asshole. (No offense)

  12. Maybe we get a new attack - to stimulate Patriotism...

    …and FEMA!
    Can’t you guys see that the “patriotism – if attacking innocent people and killing and stealing and destroying the weak is considered so – of the right is being used to drum up support for fascism? Are you guys not aware that major industrialists profit handsomely through war profits? While our sons are mutilated? And the agenda of the New World Order is being enacted. We are all being ensnared. What good has NAFTA been for this country other than rich shareholders in major corporations?
    Federal Reserve. Look that one up. Think that they have your interests in mind? And while the poor suffer during cyclical recessions and lose their asses, how do the elite bankers fare?

    And why can’t the left and right unite as one for a real change in this country. A brand new united party with the interests of the American people in mind? Not the fat cat politician’s agendas – which is increasing the legalities of every sinister ploy of Big Business.

    United we Stand and you know the rest.
    Fuck the 3 candidates. Ron Paul was the best thing we had.

  13. Just Damn

    Damn, I didnt know Heidi was so into politics and propaganda.
    It must be the shoes…..

  14. fawfggh

    I would absolutely love to lick her asshole and have those smooth butt cheeks smother my face.

  15. She and Kim Kardasian and Paris Hilton all boggle the mind…

    .. celebrity has become, in and of itself, a viable career path. I think these are literally the first people to be famous for being famous. I wonder what portion of their income comes from selling their pics to the press.

  16. LoveThePooty

    I am sorry, Mr. Superficial, but I think Heidi is fuckin’ hot. Unfortunately she is with a BIG-TIME douche-aholic. Tell me you wouldn’t hit that.

  17. Anne

    1…2…3…annnnnddd….CLENCH!

  18. michy

    come on,i guess most american girls can only dream legs like these…

  19. andy7171

    I don’t know who the he11 she is or what show she’s on, but that second picture makes it move.

  20. yeah that`s all good.
    but i would find it cooler if stars had like a live backstage channel like this one:

    http://www.kyte.tv/ch/18531-thisis50com

    check it out, it`s da bomb !!!

  21. yeah that`s all good.
    but i would find it cooler if stars had like a live backstage channel like this one:

    http://www.kyte.tv/ch/18531-thisis50com

    check it out, it`s da bomb !!!

  22. ph7

    She’s definitely doable.

    I’d just hate to have to talk to her after I do her.

  23. Brittany

    i dont get it, why is EVERY picture from her fashion show of HER?? in the same outfit?? and why are they having a fashion show for like 5 peices of clothing. i admit, i looked up the shit because i was like ‘i thought that chick was skanky, who would wanna dress like that?” sure enough, i looked, and there were about 7 articles of clothing, all of which look like they were worn by that chick in highschool who everyone strongly suspected was touched by her daddy

  24. And all this………………………………………………….ON TUESDAY!!

  25. Grunion

    “What a bunch of fucking liars. Any male saying they would not take a shot at that, given the chance, is not not a heterosexual. It’s that fucking simple. ”

    I’d take shot at that. perferably with a .306 but a shotgun would work too.

  26. FCS

    Those clothes make her look smart.

    They practicaly scream “respect me for my mind”

  27. One other thing… where’s her belly button? Is she pod-grown or something?

  28. em

    His “facial hair” makes him look like that albino Powder. Whats the point of growing it out if you can’t even see it.

  29. Ted from LA

    Binky,
    This is some of your best work to date. Congratulations.

  30. Rex

    She is so beautiful!I love her.Maybe many men like her,too.If you want to know her more,you would go to “SeekingRich.com”
    .She is also on “SeekingRich.com”,there are a lot of reports about her.You can contact her on that website.

  31. Rachel

    #117

    I agree but we need to vote Democrat to end the war that cannot be won.

    I work in defense and if ending the war means I need to find another job then so be it.

  32. #78 06/16/86

    LET’S BACKTRACK TO 2004. THE FATE OF THE COUNTRY RESTS UPON TWO PARTIES AS USUAL… DEM. JOHN KERRY, REP. GEORGE W. BUSH… THE NOMINATION GOES TO BUSH! IT DOESN’T MATTER THOUGH BECAUSE THEY BOTH LEAD TO THE SAME PLACE. YOUR PRESIDENT IS NOT FROM TEXAS, HE’S NOT REALLY STUPID EITHER, THAT IS A BIG ACT/LIE. HE’S A BLUE-BLOOD FROM NEW ENGLAND… HE’S ACTUALLY JOHN KERRY’S COUSIN… HOW ABOUT THAT??? TWO COUSINS LEADING THE TWO POLITICAL PARTIES OF AMERICA… SOUNDS LIKE DEMOCRACY DON’T IT? ANYONE WHO DOES SOME RESEARCH ON BUSH WILL FIND HE’S ACTUALLY ALSO RELATED TO FACISTS LIKE THE QUEEN AND “ROYAL FAMILY”, CHARLAMAGNE… AND SEVERAL OTHER PROMINANT SOCIAL FIGURES LIKE HUGH HEFFNER. HE AND KERRY WERE ALSO MEMBERS OF A YALE SECRET SOCIETY CALLED ‘THE SKULL AND BONES’ WHICH ORIGINALLY WAS CREATED WITH THE INTENT OF OVERTHROWING THE U.S. GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE IN 1832. IT’S AN ELITIST ORGANIZATION THAT CONTINUES TO MEET EVERY YEAR IN RED WOOD CITY,CA AT THE BOHEMIAN GROVE. SEVERAL MEMBERS ARE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS BECAUSE THERE REALLY IS NO DIFFERENCE, THEY WORK COLLECTIVELY THROUGH PERCEIVED “REVOLUTIONS” FROM ONE PARTY TO THE OTHER. RALPH NADER, MICHAEL MOORE, LOU DOBBS, AND NOAM CHOMSKY ARE ALL SUPPOSED “LIBERATORS” WHO TAKE THERE ORDERS FROM THE NEW WORLD ORDER LIKE BUSH AND THE DEMOCRATS AS WELL. VOTING FOR THESE PARTIES WILL NOT BRING YOU ANY FREEDOM WHATSOEVER. I HAVE TWO VIDEOS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT… PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT THIS PROCESS HAS ALREADY STARTED.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pUogbYkoHc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a9Syi12RJo

    06/16/86

  33. lisa

    she’s obviously got her finger on the pulse of the “everyday woman.”

  34. spasmolytic

    That’s the way John McCain likes his trollops…

  35. None

    Am I the only person that can not stand this chick? Seiruosly, she has a horse face.

  36. Michelle

    Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She does not have any business singing much less designing so called clothes. I am so tired of seeing her and her boy toy (as long as you are in the spot light and making a fool of yourself, I will be with you) on the internet. I would rather look at the weather than read anymore of them and their rediculous endeavers.

  37. Novus Ordos Seclorem

    NWO babies! It’s been all over since NAFTA

  38. slaves to enterTAMEment

    Why does this site keep posting Heidi Montag shit even tho it claims to hate her? Kinda seems to me like someone is trying to put her “on top”. Fuck the stupid chicks on this site who bitch out every woman that paparatzis photograph and the stupid dudes who put these REGULAR CHICKS up on a fucking pedistal… Yea she’s hot, but dude, stroll down the street, you’ll find plenty of hot women to chat with… Fuckin’ sick of this facebook generation spending all it’s time objectifying hate and lust on people they’ll never know/meet… wake the fuck up people, you have a life to live already. 06/16/86 i hear ya about the nWo bro… that skull n bonez video openned my eyes boy.

  39. NY Ted

    I would still not hesitate to fuck that slut 7 ways to Sunday! Actually what she needs is one in each orifice all night long…then we’ll she how much slutty posing she does! Bend over Heidi here I COME

  40. MAN SCIENCE

    Learn something about guys here ladies, they don’t care what clothes you wear or whether your roots are showing… We like girls that are total fucking pigs!!! The dirtiest hottest little things that know how to do us how we like it… Not some supermodel perfect girl to lay there and think she doesn’t have to talk dirty and be slutty for us because she looks so “good”. Take a look at porn movies, guys don’t want a “perfect” face, they want a cute little fuck slut to treat them right… That being said, all you women who sit here and bitch and complain because Paris Hilton is this and that better than you GET A CLUE… YOU CAN DO IT TOO… GET OUT THERE, MEN WILL WANNA FILL YOUR HOLES!!! I GUARENTEE IT… OUR STANDARDS ARE NOT HIGH. OUR GENETIX ARE PROGRAMED THAT WAY. By the way, I think this chick’s face is fucking gorgeous and NY ted’s got the right idea in getting all those heidi holes some a little of our heidiwood… DAMN SHE’D LOOK SWEET BEING GANGED.

  41. fuckfuckfuck

    Cat, we really gotta work on your definition of hilarious.

  42. Scott

    If anyone talk to her, tell her I have $10 and a huge bag of stupid for her. That should at least get me a handjob and three punches to her face.

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  44. Morko Storcko

    Damn Heidi!!! I love every inch. I would love to get that.

  45. lulu

    Ugly face, tolerable body (her plastic surgeon should switch to podiatry where nobody can see his work) – and her “boy”friend (who I still think engages is boy ass rapery and uses her as some sort of a front to show that he is “straight” – yeeeaaah, right) is a spoiled, hasn’t-hit-puberty yet, snotty, p-whipped, pompous pretty boy who is probably some priest’s bitch on a regular basis – I hate people born into money with no redeeming quality other than to be able to name the designers in their closets. Get a f-ing job, volunteer, donate time/blood/money – learn from our men and women in the military you vapid, useless, tacky, tasteless, uneducated, shallow, appearance whores!

  46. paul

    she may be stupid, she may be talentless, I don’t know, I have no ideea who she is. but, damn! she is fucking hot!!! now that’s what a woman is supposed to look like.

  47. Shannon Mc Allister

    All I can say is this, will someone make that idiot close her mouth, every picture you see, she has her mouth open. She thinks that’s a sexy look, but what it really looks like is the village idiot, sitting on a pile of horse poop, drooling from her mouth, waiting for her weekly bucket of fish heads.

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