Heidi Montag launched her new clothing line Heidiwood over the weekend which she previously described as “fun and flirty for the everyday woman.” Since I’m freaking bad to the ass, I came up with a more appropriate slogan:
Heidiwood: Clothing designed exclusively by and for the everyday skank – who loves looking classy!
Everyday skank seen here not included. Doucehole boyfriend sold separately. Heidiwood does not endorse or condone breast augmentation devices but you’re pretty much super retarded and should die if you don’t have them. P.S. Lauren Conrad has a smelly vagina.