Heidi Montag fashions: For today’s street whore

April 14th, 2008 // 149 Comments

Heidi Montag launched her new clothing line Heidiwood over the weekend which she previously described as “fun and flirty for the everyday woman.” Since I’m freaking bad to the ass, I came up with a more appropriate slogan:

Heidiwood: Clothing designed exclusively by and for the everyday skank – who loves looking classy!

Everyday skank seen here not included. Doucehole boyfriend sold separately. Heidiwood does not endorse or condone breast augmentation devices but you’re pretty much super retarded and should die if you don’t have them. P.S. Lauren Conrad has a smelly vagina.

superficial

  1. I’m gonna go have a cigarette… at least that’ll have a butt… and a better figure…

  2. kat

    she is the ugliest fucking pig monkey i have ever seen.

  3. Ted from LA

    FIRST you sour cunts

  4. Spencer on the phone

    “Ok, I’ve taken off those trashy clothes and I’ve got her naked. Now what do I do? What? WHAT? SICK! NO FUCKIN WAY!”

  5. Kingsley Amis

    For all the classy Target shoppers

  6. I know I have seen hooker walking down Sunset strip that looked better than this.

  7. Jackie

    I love it….I hope her career crashes and burns after this atrocity.

  8. Tom

    She’s ugly and talentless. She’s proof that implants can buy a young woman anything.

  9. ldsqtbea

    i actually like some of her clothing line :-D i think its cute and a lot better than whats her name … umm … lauren conrad or whatever

  10. Mary

    last pic – look at Spencer’s free hand. only way he can kiss her is if he distracts himself by pretending to fondle a guy’s balls.

  11. KickRocks

    isn’t there a way her parents can still have her aborted?

  12. Dick Bush

    I would do it… and wouldn’t regret it.

    Spencer is a fcuking douche OMFG.

    To hell with the dam spammer….

  13. she's ugly and flat assed

    I know she’s trying to drive attention away from her ugly as sin face with those clothes, but shouldn’t the girl have a nicer body to dress like that? Heidi, those shorts on you scream flat booty.

  14. She’s so fucking hot

  15. nipolian

    Last pic – The way her upper lip curls up prior to kissing the douchebag is exactly the way a mule’s upper lip reacts when you feed them something sweet.

  16. T

    She has a great body, amazing legs, no cellulite. The boobs are stupid, and her face is butt ugly. She is annoying as hell and that boyfriend needs to come out already.

  17. T

    Oh, and she looks like a retarded prostitute.

  18. Ladies, this is definitely not worth going lesbian for

  19. Ted Mosby

    I can’t wait for their “leaked” sex video.

  20. Auntie Kryst

    I would like to attend a NASCAR race with her.

  21. born2expire

    If Heidi Montag was an “everyday skank” id be in heaven, real women don’t look that good.

  22. Rachel

    I don’t care for her mouth, fake boobs, airhead, or gay boyfriend. But her candidate – McCain – is obviously the best. I hope that doesn’t sound…bitter.

  23. BoboTed

    I now know the apocalypse is here when a useless spolied cunt with no talent and a fake body like Heidi Montag can become a “celebrity” whose political opinions based on absolute selfish self-interest and no research become newsworthy.

    And McCain is a clueless geriatric whose whole campaign is centered around pissing away more money and lives in Iraq- he has no clue about the economy or the environemnt.

  24. Whatevs

    Great legs and stomach. Too bad about the plastic beach ball tits and COMPLETE LACK OF ASS.

  25. Obviously

    Obama wins the Dem nomination.

    General election:
    “God Damn America” ”
    “For the first time in my life, I’m proud of my country”
    “bitter” (stupid poor folks in small towns)

    President McCain.

    It’s a foregone conclusion at this point, like it or not.

  26. coffeebean

    I for one think that Heidi should be commended for achieving such a perfect look. She is a real life Barbie Doll and everyone bad mouthing her is just plain jealous that she is so flawless. I read the comments that people make about who is too fat and who is too skinney. Well ladies and gentlemen, here is the real deal. This is the woman that every straight man in the world desires.

  27. Ed

    no no no. Not “skinney” – the nigs say it, “skinNAY”. Plus you need to say bitch. Then do a gold-toothed smile at some fat ass in hooker clothes and say that’s the ideal. Then go get your welfare check.

  28. Randal

    I love the glow of her skin, especially the legs, which round upward to some nice nibble-me-snack thighs. With that Zebra top and golden mane, a tail would top her off just nicely.

    GRRrowl!

    Randal

  29. grobpilot

    When are we going to see some naked-titty pics? That’s all I want, I don’t want to see the rest of her nude. I have very simple needs.

  30. BoboTed

    @#26- The stock price of adult diaper manufacturers skyrockets as McCain enters the White House.

    Obama had the courage and spine to speak the truth and gets lambasted for it. Fucking right-wing media cocksuckers. McCain just wants to kill more Arabs as president- he is a senile old fuck who thinks we are back fighting in Vietnam.

  31. yo

    Someone told this poor girl that she was special. Shame on them.

  32. Bigheadmike

    Dumb clam.

  33. MANisPERVERTED

    I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE… IF YOU’RE A MAN, YOU THINK THE SAME AS ME… HERE GOES… I’LL DISPLAY OUR THOUGHTS…DaMMMMN I WOULD FUCKIN POUND THOSE SLOPPY PINK HOLES ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! WHAT A WHORE!!! BEAUTIFUL IN THESE PHOTOS… WHATEVER ANYONES SAYIN’ ABOUT THIS GIRL NOT HAVING ASS… DUMB DUMB DUMB… I WOULD TONGUE THAT FUCKING PINK LITTLE ASSHOLE MAN!!!!! RIGHT UP INSIDE IT… BABY, SHE DOES SURE SUCK AT ACTING/EVERYTHING, BUT AT LEAST SHE CAN SKANK IT UP AND MAKE MY DICK HARD, NOT THAT I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR THAT SPENCER PRATT HOMO, HE PROBABLY WAITS FOR HEIDI TO BRING HOME THE BOYS THAT WANNA NAIL HER AND THEN FORCES THEM TO FUCK HIM TOO… OUUUUUUUUUCH THERE’S A BAD THOUGHT AMONG SEVERAL PLEASANT ONES OF HEIDI’S PINK LITTLE FUCKHOLES… IM OUT..

  34. Coffeebeansmellslikeshit

    Coffeebean, you could possibly be the smartest person in the world. But I can smell your Vag from here. Please shower.

  35. Obviously

    “the courage to speak the truth” = saying out loud – WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WASN’T BEING RECORDED – the condescending elitist thoughts of liberals who hate the people of this country, but are afraid to express it publicly.

    No wonder he’s such a “hero” to the cowardly liberals.

  36. Eaglemaster

    man=perverted you are a fuckin genius dude… let’s start a petition to get this girls clothes off and that boyfriend out the window…

  37. BoboTed

    @#36- Yeah, all of those corporate executives and oil men are salt-of-the-earth blue collar folks that happen to support the GOP. Give me a fucking break smegma breath.

    Obama knew exactly what he was saying and did so in front of a crowd of supporters. As someoene who grew up in the Midwest I can attest to the validity of his assertions.

    You are a stupid dumbass completely ignorant of the economic and social circumstances in this country. Typical ivory tower piece of shit conservative.

  38. Heidi

    first

  39. Obviously

    “You are a stupid dumbass completely ignorant of the economic and social circumstances in this country. Typical ivory tower piece of shit conservative.”

    Ahhhh yes, the voice of change, growth, peace. New solutions. A new way.

    Sucker.

  40. Bill

    Like a cross between Hilary Duff and some smokin’ porn whore. Keep it comin’ Heidi ! The gentlemen wanna see how deep you can go.

    Bill, Austin, TX

  41. nick lachey is a douche

    I SO WANT TO FIST HER.

  42. steve

    This isn’t the place, and I’m not into name calling, but I have to say that like it or not, the election has already been lost to John McCain. Obama is going to win the nomination eventually, but he can’t even close out in his own party, and he’s literally printing bumperstickers for the McCain campaign whenever he, his wife, or his Rev open their mouths. McCain just needs to keep breathing and only soil himself a few times each day between now and November and he’s the next president. I can’t believe the Democrats screwed the pooch already, but face it, they’ve already lost no matter what happens at their convention. Maybe Nader’s right – if the Democrats can’t win this time, and by a landslide, it’s time to scrap that party and start over.

  43. Dr. Drew

    All you clowns who bash this chick wouldn’t hesitate for a second to bang the shit out her if you were offered to have a night with her….f-ing morons.

  44. Puddin' Taine

    I would cover her face with my baby batter.

  45. Dr. Drew's boyfriend

    Don’t mind him, he just LOVESSSSSSS skinny girls with gay fiances.

  46. Sid

    Wow, if your a guy and you think this is an attractive girl with a hot body, you must have fond memories of secretly playing with your sister’s plastic dolls. And you must be blasting some repugnant cows in real life.

  47. KillMONTAG

    Fashions for the brain dead attention hungry slut? Wow just what America needs.

  48. coffeebean

    I know one thing for sure – If Obama wins the Democratic nod, there will be a bleach shortage from Jacksonville to Ft Worth.

  49. stizz

    Waddya know, she’s making super cheesy fake faces at the camera.
    Quelle surprise.

  50. Ranexio

    Mmm mmm mmm Ranexio likey and has got to give dos snaps and a beso to Hidey. I jus t love twat top. She looks like a zebra, but fierce ass a tigre, and that blackend bottom is perfecto. Finlandly someone is making nice fashions for the ivoryday woman and its’ hour own Needi!

    Lez’s not forgett to c omplment her full time beau and sometime man-ager, he looks handsom. Lookin sharp and sissy Meester Spendsir. That suite is a moderna day classic.

    Just faecit, they area great couple. Thay are in love and the toe are good busyness persons. Tha two of yous goes girsls, kee pit reel! Mucho love for you botha.

    BOWwow!

    Ranexio

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