Heidi Montag is a pain in Miss Universe’s ass

August 20th, 2009 // 84 Comments

Seen here practicing yesterday for the Miss Universe Pageant, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have been gigantic pains in the anus for pageant officials, according to Page Six:

She’s scheduled to perform at the Miss Universe Pageant at the Atlantis Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas Sunday night, but an insider told Page Six, “They’re a complete nightmare. Heidi has missed many rehearsals” while “Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool” after he and Heidi were comped on the cabanas. “The Atlantis laughed in his face,” our snitch reports.

I love how Spencer had the labia flaps to demand the hotel pay him for being seen at their pool. Of course, if they knew what’s good for them, they would’ve paid him to drown himself in it. Because you know he would’ve done it. “Let me get this straight. I drown myself in the pool, and you’ll give me money afterward? — ON IT!”


  1. Dave

    Can someone please put a stop to reporting about these losers. i have never met a more disturbing representation to fame whoring in my life and everyone continues to keep them relative. I, and the rest of the world want it to end. THEY SUCK……

  2. zorgon king of lizards

    Hell yeah, this is our ticket to get this skank some intergalactic anal raping! Nobody tell her this year’s prize is a space shuttle ride, one way, into the depths of space for eternity! The writing on the side won’t say NASA. It will say ‘Hello aliens, I fuch like a champ!” Spencer can stand on the launch pad and make sure the booster rockets fire up properly! Win!

  3. Jake

    Butter face.

  4. Pam

    Heidi is looking pretty porky in these pictures. Maybe she needs to lose about 15-20? She used to have such a beautiful body but now she’s just looking gross.

  5. Bigo

    Oh, great!
    Miss Universe fires pageants who have done Playboy, but they let this bimbo who just did Playboy play a part in the show???!!!

  6. Kelley

    I love all this vapid poses for the camera … *wretch* … what’s she going to do at the pageant ?? Sing ?? Lord God help us all.

  7. wreiad

    I really don’t think she looks bad.. Apparently she has personality issues.

  8. B

    Pam, your either about to die due to anorexia or your incredibly jealous.

    i hope the latter. she is the perfect weight for her body…well except her head…im craving peanuts all the sudden

  9. Taz

    id put in in her pooper

  10. Kate

    You know what’s funny? judging by these pictures her dance routine has ripped off other good artist’s dance routines. i was suprised to hear that miss universe was going to give her horse-voice fame whoring monstrosity a chance. maybe they are all deaf or haven’t heard or sing yet? that or they are counting on her to be a disaster thus getting more viewers. haha

  11. Jenn


  12. the only opinion that matters

    If all you media morons would stop taking picturesof these two non-entities and writing about them, they would go away. You just encourage them when you acknowledge them in any manner. They should go. Now.

  13. chupacabra

    is there ever a time when her woofer ain’t agape? can she SHUT her mouth?

  14. amanda

    anybody else wondering why her back up dancers are like 70?

  15. Funny

    Don’t worry Pam, the rest of us understand sarcasm when we read it.

  16. LawnGnome

    I don’t often wish for people to die, but these two….

  17. Thank you #17….I was hoping I wasn’t the only one who caught onto Pam’s SARCASM. Man, the only thing Heidi has going for her…is from the neck down. Her body is hot…but that FACE. Ugh, it really is annoying to look at lol.

  18. Delgo

    I excessively comment on things I “hate” and don’t want to see on this site.

  19. i'd hope so...

    i am hoping that Pam is being sarcastic, or she needs to follow mischa’s footsteps to the loony bin.

  20. Peanut head

    Delgo, me too! Asswipe!

  21. maybe if they stopped paying them...

    Pageant officials deserve everything they get for being stupid enough to hire this talentless twat to “perform” at the pageant in the first place.

    It’s like inviting a murderer to have dinner at your house and then getting mad when he rapes and murders your children.

    Poor analogy? Shut up.

  22. Martina

    She’s nothing compare to my Bar!

  23. Nameless

    Heidi’s bod looks great in these shots. So Spencer’s job these days is to just hang on Heidi’s coattails while pimping her out?

    Yeah, I smell divorce by 2011.

  24. the real Martina

    Heidi is just about ready for a sextape now.

    Also, unlike the ‘fake Martina’ above, I will not attempt to link the appeal of Bar’s (or Heidi’s) ass with Israeli-Palestinian politics.

  25. Caitlyn

    Heidi is the epitome of butterface-dom. HOT HOT HOT body, face not-so-much. Not that I’m hotter, but I’m not making my career out of it :)

    Why is she performing at Miss Universe? I know its not as classy as Miss World but they aren’t exactly holding up a role model for these women by using a total contradiction as their performer. They keep de-crowning chicks for drinking and girl on girl action but then they associate with a super-Christian Playboy model who is vapid and sells images of her body as her main form of income?! Better than selling access to the body, but not exactly the moral high ground…

  26. Richard McBeef

    I wish Spencer had the balls to gut that bitch and stuff her in a suitcase.

  27. Max Planck

    “Scheduled to perform?” Perform what??

  28. Troy McClure

    Heidi’s dance routine is not original and belongs more in a strip club rather than in a pageant. The pageant officials are getting ripped out…dumbasses.

  29. she is pretty but a little too skinny need to gain about 5 to 10 pounds and she would b sexy as hell with an even more plump backside and very nice thighs

  30. The Original Shawn

    You’d have to pay me to talk to her, but I’d grudge-fuck her until her eyes popped out.

  31. sam

    I wish I didn’t know this. Now I am afraid I might seek out what will surely be the worst pageant of all time just to see what kind of a train wreck this surgically created shell would put on. I think I need a shower.

  32. sweet like salsa

    Pam. you’re a betch….. porky? C’MON now…. not even close. lets see your pick miss. pammy piggy

  33. sweet like salsa

    Pam. you’re a betch….. porky? C’MON now…. not even close. lets see your pic miss. pammy piggy

  34. joeamma

    she really let herself go after she married spencer…damn


    lol she’s an amateur. We should all enjoy that she will be performing on tv like this. It’s going to be a mess and she’ll have to deal with the embarrassing aftermath of jokes. It’s ok Heidi. While the entire country is laughing at you, you can be assured your husband will threaten each and every person who is taking part. What a douche.

  36. Pam

    Sounds like a bunch of sweathogs in here trying to defend their queen. Soooey! Heidi is gross and looks like a balloon.

  37. Eff Heidi

    guess i won’t be watching the pageant this year…

  38. Smokin

    Pam- I don’t think she’s fat., she looks preggers to me.

  39. Carolyn

    Who cares about Miss Universe, and why would anyone pay these two barfbags to show up at their own funerals?

  40. LPB

    I’m skeptical of this story.

    I don’t recall any other instances of demanding, diva-wannabe behavior from either one of them appearing….oh wait, hang on a minute.

    I don’t think she’s fat, but I’m making a note not to see show that under any circumstances.

  41. ha

    She’s not fat, but her belly does seem to be sticking out a tiny bit. Either she just ate or she’s pregnant with the world’s most useless, stupid, vapid, annoying child that will ever be spawned. Ugh, these kinds of people should be sterilized.

  42. Albin Bainbridge

    Trump and co. act like the Miss Universe Pagaent is some amazingly prestigious contest, but year after year the only talent they can pull in are B-listers like Mario Lopez, Mel B, and Heidi.

  43. Skippy

    here’s what i would do…..i’d stuff a sock in her mouth to shut her up. put a bag over head to cover her ugly face. hate fuck her until she wasn’t able to walk. then leave her there with the bag on her head and the sock in her mouth.


  44. weirdo

    I’d really love to be a big pain in Heidi’s ass. Over and over and over again until her dumpster was full!

  45. Amber

    She may be a pain in the ass, but she has a nice ass! That’s about the only desireable thing about her.

  46. J.

    It is funny in some of the pictures she is hamming it up for the camera and he skin on her face looks flawless, but in other pictures that are truly are candid action shots you can see what looks like a pizza all over her face!!!

  47. pretentious possum

    Every time I see someone on here or on the geekologie forum use the words vapid, insipid, or banal I die a little inside.

  48. Leah

    how on earth is she fat?
    I don’t like Heidi but I dislike people making ridiculous comments about body weight… bearing mind the average weight for a us woman is 163 lb and she is no where near that I think it’s a ridiculous comment to make.

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