Heidi Montag is a ‘cheap’ whore, says fashion industry (I might’ve added the whore part)

August 29th, 2008 // 55 Comments

In a glaring example the Apocalypse is at hand, The Hills is a hot commodity these days. Major fashion designers send thousands of dollars worth of clothing to Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge. However, Heidi Montag is left out of this circle of love because, obviously, she has the public persona of a retarded hooker. Fox News reports:

One of Los Angeles’ leading fashion reps (who is often responsible for dressing the likes of Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie, Fergie and Carmen Electra) told Pop Tarts that Heidi’s public persona is a little too cheap even for casual (but classy) brands.
“They don’t want their stuff on Heidi, even despite the fact that she is very media-friendly and is photographed a lot,” the rep said. “It’s just not the caliber of celebrity most clients go for.”

Other celebrities of a higher caliber than Heidi Montag:

1. The guy on the Pringles can.
2. Ross Perot.
3. Remember the dude who’s getting a Dell?
4. Jon Stamos. (Marginally.)
5. The Phillie Phanatic.
6. Me. (I want free shit! Size: SEXY.)


  1. ph7

    Perfect! ‘Cause my penis is a cheap whore, too.

    Sarah Palin has big cans, by the way.

  2. Jo Smo

    Please stop …. these two are such dooshbags

  3. Khunt

    Woman with the largest vag wins again

  4. kitty

    “size sexy” haha

  5. Sam

    Fox News went on to say that John McCain is young and energetic and mentally sharp and patient and analytical and an economic genius.

  6. Randal

    No. Simply not true at all.

    Heidi has been nothing of a fashion icon since she burst into the scene on The Hills as well as her mega single. That single was remixed in the clubs and is one of the best beats to dance to with her voice bouncing along the four corners of the dance floor.

    Even the photo provided for this report, Heidi is sporting black boots which match her black shorts. Can’t miss the big H buckle, an eye catcher if I ever saw one. To top it off, you’ve got this enormous smile and whirlpool eyes that draw you in.

    They’re missing out by not letting Heidi display their clothing lines because she is one of the most photographed celebrities in the industry right now.


  7. ali

    i want my penis to fall off in her vagina.

  8. #6

    That is, by far, the biggest taste of sarcasm ever! Thank you!

  9. veggi

    Y eso es noticia?

  10. rough daddy

    yea Heidi its time to fire your manager! namely sphincter pratt!

  11. Philly Phan

    Woo! Philly Represent!

    And I think “Randal”‘s real name is Spencer

  12. jack

    @8 – he’s not being sarasctic. He’s just that big of a turd burgular.

  13. Rod

    Alright, I’ve had enough. For all the commenters that post “OMG Stop posting abot thes 2 their sO shalow” and such, kindly shut the hell up. You’re coming to a celebrity site called The Super-fucking-ficial, and you expect what? Like it or not, these two are marginally famous and they’re media whores. They’re gonna show up… a lot. Get over it and let Fish do his damn job.

    P.S. I highly suggest you rename the site The Super-fucking-ficial. You’re welcome.

  14. Anonymous

    Randal needs to close his yap and go back to his gay porn.

  15. Naddy

    # 6 must work for spidei

  16. Naddy

    # 6 must work for spidei

  17. bar room hero

    The Phillie Phanatic…LMAO

  18. UrineToxicated

    The Philly Phanatic sat on me once when I was like 8 years old at a Dunkin Donuts on Broadstreet.

  19. Hey buddy

    Randal may I fire a cannon off in your ass?

  20. matt

    am i the only one who would love to just shoot both of them in the face?

  21. Lola

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. ROTFLMAO…. i didn’t think i could laugh this hard….
    Randal said heidi is one of the most photographed celebrities around….. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. he called her a celebrity….. ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Ok now on a more serious note, Randal, I hate you

  22. Kim

    OH MAN, that dude that was getting a dell.. I almost completely forgot about his stoner ass.

  23. HuckyDucky

    Wilford Brimley’s fan club is right now launching a DoS attack on this site for his exclusion from the list.

  24. blanket

    She always reminds me of the guy in “Mask”. The one with Cher, not Jim Carrey.

  25. Racer X



  26. Can you help me define “cheap” here? I have a pretty good sense of what that means in Micronesia … and what that means in Vegas. About a $200 difference.

    But I could use some LA tips for when I’m out there and I’m jonesin’ for cootch.

  27. Let’s fuck some Heidis!

  28. bananas!

    These two should be wished into the cornfield.

  29. Darth Hater


    Please please PLEASE don’t post any pics of these assclowns unless they are being hit by a train.

    Thank you.

  30. Jamie's Uterus

    I thought these 2 were going to Iraq, and people were holding prayer vigils for a roadside bomb for them?

    Did they do that, or just go to the supermarket instead?

  31. michele20

    Does anyone agree that they look retarded?

  32. fuck heidi

    Yes, michele20, everyone agrees.

  33. netstarman

    Lets see if a sponge is smarter than a horse , and a horse is smarter than a snail . Where does that put Heidi Montag and fecal boy with the bad beard behind her?

  34. Randall is an IDIOT

    Hey Randall… are you a retarded hooker as well? Just because your boots are the same color as your fucking shorts, it doesn’t mean that you can dress well and may be considered a fashionista. My 1 year old niece that is color blind dresses better than heidi.

    I guess the transvestite I saw sucking Spencer’s dick last night is an amazing dresser too. Her/His purple hooker boots matched her purple spankies and to top it off, she/he was wearing something eye catching as well! A huge collar with the letter W hanging off it for WHORE.

    Pahlease. Do not insult any of us by implying that heidi is a fashion anything of any kind.

    Randall, go light a cigarette in a puddle of gas please.

  35. somuchbetter

    um, excuse me, but i love john stamos. i wanted to fuck uncle jesse since i was like, 9.

  36. britney's weave

    fish, please stop posting about this whore as an excuse to write funny shit about her. yes, you are funny. but this is fucking ridiculous.

  37. Dorito Man

    That shopping cart is the best ride she’s ever had from him. Or will have.

    He looks so faggoty, pushing that shopping cart. I bet a grocery clerk rushed up and offered to help him.

    I know she thinks of another man when she climaxes. She has to. Thpencer is simply not the stuff a woman’s climaxes are made of.

  38. Someone

    Does this chick ever close her mouth? I don’t even watch TV and I find her annoying.

    Eat a donut or something.

  39. friendlyfires

    You see, even the irony factor wouldn’t work with Heidi, the public knows she’s full of it, she’s about as empty as a twenty dozen beer kegs the day after a Labor Day Weekend party of thirsty raging drunks. Even the fumes were sucked out of those babies. I’m talking the vacuum of space.
    Hey, is thing on?
    Tough crowd.
    Hey, Twiglets …mmmm … salty.

  40. Frank

    This cunt (or fag) dresses fergie and she/he has the nerve to call Montag ‘cheap’?

  41. ks

    caliber of what she is a moron… she should be wearing nothing maybe that will interest some..

  42. I think it’s better to help yourself than sharing your pillow with this dumb ass.
    (she’s acting like most americans folks.)

  43. KB

    Why is her effing mouth always open?!?!?

  44. Penelope Cruz has that same shirt.

  45. Penelope Cruz has that same shirt.

  46. GG1000

    Oi, Superfish writers. I’d like to remind you that I’m the one who first pointed out they might be one of the Signs of the End of Days/5th Horseman of the Apocalypse. You’re welcome to use it, but a little attribution, please!

    People, why are you complaining about pictures of these fools? Check the name of the site you’re on; you can’t get much more superficial than these two!

  47. chopper

    christ, why don’t you stop slobbing on spencer’s knob and stop posting pics of these retards.

    you’re doing exactly what he wants you to do.

    Superficial = spencer and heidi’s bitch

  48. Haryani

    #43 Cause she will use her biggest ever mouth to blow job that man behind her,that retarted splastic boy…..what a perfect match!

  49. Bodylotion

    Thank God so many people read Randal’s comment with huge sarcasm quotes!

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