Heidi Montag in her bikini/only useful form

May 29th, 2008 // 202 Comments

Honest Injun, heeding your cries, I’ve been exercising a moratorium on Heidi and Spencer’s horribly retarded candid (but really posed) shots. However, drastic times call for drastic measures. And I’d like to point you to the two drastic measures above. I’m going to step away from my keyboard now because I never type angry/aroused. *SMASH!* Shiiiit, I just knocked over my cubicle. Geekologist, are you alright? I was editing Heidi photos and- Hey! Eyes up here, bud. Nothing technological going on down there. That’s simply nature. And, okay, plutonium.


  1. Your Mom

    Why is her mouth hanging open in every picture? She looks mentally ill.

  2. chopper


    mmmm…. fake bewbs… bleached blonde… cubic zirconia in navel…

    NO!… stop!… must focus…


  3. anal cunt

    I soooooo want to rape this cunt in the ass. Don’t worry, she wants it….

  4. tig

    Do you not get that Superficial is IN on this P.O.S. ???

    ok, this is how it works….they get the pic.s to Superficial…He/She posts them to Us… the stupid, fucking, idiotic masses. We googgle the shit up.

  5. jg

    Is it normal to feel aroused and nauseous at the same time?

  6. greg

    I bet she’s a three hole woman!!!

  7. daddyshome

    This girl is by no means too skinny. She is perfect and Spencer is definitely doing her like this, doing her like that, doing her with a wiffle ball bat….

  8. moneytrain

    i’ve never experienced such a fierce battle between my brain and penis :(

  9. Sim

    Why do we all still care about this talentless horse and her douchefag of a boyfriend? We should all join forces and stop publishing their photo-ops around, they’ll get the message soon and drop out of our sights.

  10. Dura

    This girl I want to Donkey Punch, and make her cry. Cry those sweet sweet tears sobbing “Why? Why would you do that to me?” Then clean out her wallet and leave.

  11. d


  12. egg

    The bitch looks fucking hot!!

  13. internetanonymity

    stupid clit needs a nose job stat

  14. Mohammed

    I would love to see this girl DP’d by Barack Obama and Pete Doherty.

  15. Mohammed

    I would love to see this girl DP’d by Barack Obama and Pete Doherty.

  16. AliCat

    At least there is limited Heidi-Spencer douchebaggery going on here. But man I hate this whore. Her chest and her head are both filled with amorphous goo.

  17. Jason

    Hot, but goddamn, she’s got some ugly fuckin’ feet. No wonder the stupid bitch buries them in the sand on almost every shot.

  18. Bodylotion

    I gotta admit there is indeed a battle between my brain and my penis too. Kinda feel nauseous AND aroused at the same time. My brains tell me to lock up this Ms. Montag in a cave, and bury the douche named Spencer Pratt alive.

    My penis however, says to screw this Heidi six ways from sunday, and bury the douche named Spencer Pratt alive.

    Still, I can’t believe that the only ‘fame’ they seem to get, is by posed shots. Do they appear anywhere else in the media whatsoever? God damn.

  19. Lizzy

    Jeez, you could park a pick up truck between that cleavage!

  20. I think she is beautiful and she has the perfect body

  21. I think she is beautiful and she has the perfect body

  22. sweetz

    hows the shitty poses
    what a wimp

  23. MojoRisin

    she’s hot and all (minus those hideous balloons sitting on that picket-fence of a chest) but what a tool.

  24. tony c

    think ankles

  25. Her implants look really bad.

  26. Towelhead Obama

    Nice ass for a white girl.

  27. wallawalla

    STOP!!!! Stop giving these two idiots the time of day. If everyone would just STOP posting their pictures and writing about them they might crawl back under their rocks.

  28. Pete

    oohh …. look at me ! I’m such an attention WHORE !

  29. Dick in a box

    The clock is almost at 15 min. We hope you saved some of your money, cause you will need it.

  30. Poozy

    I think she has a great body, but why is she always posed at least once with her legs together like she has to pee?

  31. Lara

    she has dude’s feet!!!

  32. eurotrash

    i cannot fuckin believe that all u guys here let her appearance compensate for the fact that she’s one of the dumbest fake ass bitches to ever force her way into the spotlight. COME ON GUYS!!! how can you say a face like that and those disgusting implants are hot?!

  33. yawn

    she is very hot to look at.. the tits are kind of annoying tho.. but without them meh…
    still she IS hot.. greta ass and legs.. sort of vapid tho.. not that i know her..

    the boyfriend is the epitome of a douchebag.. how many push ups do you think he did before the photo shoot?

    and the ridiculous posing.. she is wearing two different sets of bikini with the same bottle of champagne.. her posing is generally awful with the dumb mouth open one the most annoying.. i like the twat emphasis in this set tho.. made my thing move.. very hot.. but the over acting must end.. if the dumbass photographer would just capture them actually talking it might be more interesting than “oh look champagne”

    no matter what tho.. i dont mind looking at this chick..
    the boyfriend irritates me tho..

  34. emma frost

    It is beyond posed and called in. There desperation is palpable. Beyond everything else she is very fucking skinny no ass bitch with a horse face and a shitty boob job. Note this is not coming from a fat ugly chick.

  35. lindsay's old bong

    I wish those fatigues he’s wearing would be an indication that he is being drafted to Iraq FOREVER!!!

  36. CHT

    All douchebaggery aside. DO ANY LADIES ON THIS SITE THINK SPENCER IS HOT?? He is under the misconception that he is

  37. Picture number three features exactly the same look he had the first time he sucked cock.

  38. deacon jones

    And her head in my closet!…er,

    typing out thoughts, nevermind

  39. CJ

    “Oh….cameras..posing…arching…crap…cramp…don’t look pinched…must look sexual…hide vacant look in eyes…must not reveal lack of interest…can’t hide ignorance and stupidity…make up for it in bimbo boobie poses…almost done…crap…cramps…will this never end?”

  40. kate

    she should have gotten a chin job instead of a boob job.

  41. maw

    I would be a very happy girl if I had a lean torso like that, but I’m not getting how any of the girls on that show get any publicity with their unremarkable faces. Guess it’s just the voyeurs in us.

  42. Fumus

    Heidi is awesome, shut up haters!


  43. SRZ

    While I agree she has a nice body that most women would kill for — did anyone notice her nasty feet in pic 8??? She’s had so much work done on that body of hers, maybe she should fix her disgusting feet. Her left foot looks bigger than her entire body. Gross. Dig ‘em back in the sand, Heidi.

  44. Athiest

    Only a cruel and vengfull god would put that face on that body.

    Repent sinners the end is nigh

  45. Athiest

    Only a cruel and vengfull god would put that face on that body.

    Repent sinners the end is nigh

  46. Grunion

    these two again, imagine that. oh thats right the guy running this site has to pay his rent.

    I hope thier publicists cheque doesn’t bounce or it’s out on the street for the Fish guy.

  47. JPRichardson

    Cute girl. Awful feet.

  48. Liz

    Funny all the comments about fake boobs , i’m sure they are all from women, although i like the natural look you girls need to know that guys don’t give a fuck if there fake so please stop with the ” nice body except for the fake boobs.”

  49. Mississippi

    I was checking the comments to see if anyone else noticed her disgusting feet!!! LOL Sure enough. haha Thank god I was done eating my breakfast before seeing those WEIRD ass toes! *gags*

    I wish SOMEBODY would ask her WHY in the hell do they take so many fake shots! She needs to be told just how disturbing it all looks.. She’s a pretty girl, obviously, but she’d have a way better career opportunity if she was actually known for “something” other than posed photo shoots in random places! And Spencer looks pretty pissy in this set. I’m guessing he’s becoming jealous of all the alone shots Heidi is getting.. Pretty soon he’ll be a thing of the past.. And she’ll have someone hotter posing with her.. *loses breakfast* Sorry guys.. It was just too much!

  50. yuppers

    I wish the media would stop bothering to give this girl any attention. She poses so desperately for the cameras………its pathetic and it gets on my nerves.
    oh, and I have nothing against women with breast implants, but I wish one of her boobs would just burst in public resulting in humiliating her …

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