Heidi Montag in a bikini: Now with more balcony!

May 30th, 2008 // 193 Comments

These are the latest batch from Heidi Montag’s posed-as-all-hell bikini shoot. I’m actually impressed that her chest balloons didn’t glide her right off the balcony and out to sea. Clearly, this proves there is no God or, at the very least, he doesn’t hear my prayers. Time for a new tactic: Voodoo. Now that’s some reliable shit. Okay, anyone got a Barbie doll I can borrow/dip in acid? Joker from Batman, you still on here? Call me, son. You know my digits.

superficial

  1. britney's weave

    i am not reading the commentary, i am simply going to ask this: fish, are you paying money for these pictures? because if you are, i am going to seriously contemplate not visiting this site in the future. I AM SO SICK OF THESE TWO LOSERS! they do not deserve anyone’s attention!

  2. Raven

    skankity skankity skankity skankity phony skankity skankity skankity choo choo ho………………tracks laid accross the landscape…….but which of the two is the bigger skank!

  3. Raven

    Look, oh my my chest popped out. Gee how did that happen? Are you looking? Looking yet? They these cost three grand…each. And that was just the wuss, not even the the bimbo.

  4. Raven

    Look, oh my my chest popped out. Gee how did that happen? Are you looking? Looking yet? They these cost three grand…each. And that was just the wuss, not even the the bimbo.

  5. anon

    Stop playing around…we know you guys can’t read

  6. me

    She needs a nose job.

  7. Superfluous

    Ah! But, why?

    What an un-fun way to end the week, Sup’fish. Frowny face.

  8. Conscience_Found

    irregardless, all the negativity here comes from the realization that they have their 15 minutes and the posters never will.

    How do i find the devil because I would sell my sole to hit that?

    Heidi Con’s:
    Fake Boobs
    Signs of Smoker Body (lacking fit muscle tone, like most people who smoke)

    Heidi Pro’s:
    Fake Boobs
    Hair (tons of lift)
    An Ass to Build an Empire on.
    Pretty Face
    Capacious mouth

  9. So Heidi doesn’t know hoe to read, and Spencer is a twenty something genius who enjoys reading Forbes and Wired and anything else that was left in that gigantic pile of books.

  10. Why ruin a great body?

    To those of you who are either blind or jealous of this woman, the fact is that she DOES have a great body and an atractive face.

    However, she has those GOOFY fake breasts bolted onto her otherwise great body.

    If she didn’t have those silly implants, she would look terrific. That is the lesson, ladies.

    It is inflnitely better to be flat than to have implants. They just look RIDICULOUS and make a hot girl look like an idiot. The bottom line? Even if you are flat, do NOT get implants. Guys who are worth getting will want your natural, non-plastic body!

  11. wgrtw

    wtf is this shit?

  12. mrah

    Stop posting this stupid bitch! No one thinks she’s hot or remotely interesting, I’m sure there are a million other girls in bikinis you could post on the top, or just leave Mila, who actually has a brain and is nice to look at.

    EVERYONE HATES HEIDI.

  13. Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t tap the shit out of this girl if you had the opportunity.
    She would be a horrible long term gf/. She looks like she has 1/2 a brain cell operating at 2% capacity.

    This couple looks like they plan every kiss, hug, step, and facial expression during breakfast before the enter into society. I fucking hate that shit.

  14. sissy

    That is so beautiful.

  15. Stacey B

    The only way to get rid of these fucktards is to do like the Simpsons say – Don’t look at the Monsters!!! Serioulsy, they will go away if we don’t look at them/post any of their “candid” photos

  16. Danklin24

    Fuck dude, does MTV pay you to post pictures of this trainwreck? All you do superfish is bitch about how posed these pictures are, then call her fugly. It doesnt make sense why you’d keep posting about these two twats. Stop it.

  17. LOL

    i think its funny that she’s always in the sun, yet she never gets tanned.

  18. Randal's Hunter

    OK so I got this old Russian tank. It took a lot of liscensing and bullshitting about being an over the top military collector and all but I got it!
    I’m coming for you Randal. I will find you and all your little fans and blow your fucking houses down!

  19. i’m not sure they have enough “product placement” in those photos. please stop posting photos of these people, they are not worthy of your site. srsly.

  20. Sport

    They sure drink a lot of champagne with their fucking CHEESE. Crap I need some bleach for my retinas.

  21. oblivia

    what a terrible person

  22. Lisa

    Did anyone notice that she is wearing two different bikinis during this photo shoot? It looks like it is supposed to be the same time frame in the pictures on the beach, but I guess she had a wardrobe change?

  23. Elle

    I completely agree with #60. Despite being complete airhead, attention-whore, and total slut, Heidi would actually have a great body if she didn’t have those ridiculous implants that make her look like a cheap bimbo. She’s got toned legs, full butt, (a little too) skinny arms, and a flat stomach. Her face is very horse-like and will not age well, however, I’ll tell you that. Anyways, don’t get fake boobs, girls! Even though I’m sure Heidi was done by the top surgeon in Hollywood, they will always look fake and dumb. So seriously, it is so much better to be flat. It’s chic, even. Like a supermodel. Heidi is a dumb ho and she should be no one’s role model.

  24. Maloney

    stop showing this stupid cunt. i reserve all “c” profanity. but it’s out in full effect. STOP PROMOTING THIS STUPID BITCH.

    die heidi, really.

  25. Maloney

    wow she really has man feet.

    DIE HEIDI

  26. STOPSPEIDI

    The book spencer is reading is called “Power” and it is a book all about how to hold power over people and how to manipulate situations and people to your adv antage …. fitting huh?

  27. Silvia

    So fake, so posing…..aaahhh

  28. Albert Garibay

    What a Gorgeous Body so what if they are not real The rest of her Body is that is all that counts.She is Gorgeous.

  29. So # 1 -76…
    Inside job ?
    Having any problems with ‘free fall collapse speed’ ?
    You just want me to go away don’t you ?
    Unfortunately for you Knee Ya Ha Ha still here.
    So – #1-76 – no one really expects the inquisition… but Click the link….
    Gravity ? or…
    Inside job ?
    (The superficial is just the front page…)

  30. #77-79 as well
    Inside job ?

  31. kevin

    i dont care how fake or dumb she is…this girl is gorgeous…..a body any girl would be jealous of.

  32. Well ok. since this is simply an entertainment comment site – I should really stick just entertainment people etc / links….
    Cliff Notes : A – Men .Bink sometimes I feel you just want to – ‘push the envelope’
    Binky : Moi ? I’m linking entertainment Cliff – WTF ?

  33. die_speidi_die

    she’s such a foul butta face i wouldn’t care if she had giselle budchen’s body i’d only stick her from behind. her face is a hard-on-b-gone. spencer is a flaming queer and every time they leave their house, they’ve tipped off the media to capture their fake ass poses. as long as the media keeps following them, convincing them they are somebody – they’ll never leave the tabloids

  34. So # ! – 79.
    Inside Job ?
    Don’t worry – we here all weekend.
    ‘Frank’
    from 16th floor says he do overtime as well.

  35. These two are so annoying.
    All of their pictures are posed. Who really cares about these idiots anyway.
    And almost in all of their posed pictures they are always drinking champagne.
    I hate to post a comment about these retards, but looks like i’m going to do it.
    whatever.

  36. WOWSA
    You seem like real intellectual # 84…
    Inside job ?

  37. Right back to ya Kayla X
    Inside job ?
    (Yeah folks – we’ll be here all weekend)

  38. So – ‘die_speidi_die’ and ‘Kayla’…
    Inside job ?

  39. becca

    haha , they are so advertising the one&only hotel in los cabos

    the obvously give them some profit
    stop posting these pics , noone is interested in advertisement fot these stupid people!

  40. Spencer is a total douche bag, but he’s not important just like male strippers and male models make below or around the poverty level while there female counterparts make 6 figures. It’s Heidi here who really matters and who is being disected. She is an ego driven, phony, people pleaser, insecure, UGLY inside and out tranny looking dum ass. She has brought celebrity to a new low. She must be so hated among the real actress’ in hollywood for that. She should be murdered or suddenly commit suicide like the d.c. madam!

  41. Lobster

    I heart Heidi.
    I am in Australia and have never seen this hills show that she is on…

    However. I would LOVE to hit that shit.

    After I had finished with her, she would look like a plasterer’s radio.

  42. Bigo

    Montage means staged in French LOL. Her lastname couldn’t fit her better

  43. my comment

    These two supreme idiots are probably voting for Obama.

  44. Heroiny

    Don’t hate the game…..hate the players.

  45. Ted from LA

    JUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Ted from LA

    For all those saying they would “fuck that” “tap that” “hump that”, etc., with a face like that, I believe the term is “cover that”… as in Storm Cat covered that mare and she is now in foal. I heard Heidi is in the 4th at Churchill Downs today.

  47. Ted from LA

    She does have a nice mane, I’ll give her that.

  48. Rosie's meat curtains

    Sure … the ridiculous antics these two vapid attention whores are sickening … but that Heidi is a grade-A piece of ass.

  49. Ted from LA

    Fuck, I hope these assholes don’t end up with 100 posts.

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