Heidi Montag in her only useful form

December 4th, 2008 // 195 Comments

These are shots from Heidi Montag’s “honeymoon” in Cabo San Lucas where her mom claims she was drugged out of her mind. Does this look like a woman who’s not sure what she’s doing? Not in my book. Clearly, this is someone who’s willing to perform a variety services in exchange for cash. As long as her boyfriend/husband gets to take all the money and use it to buy high tops, a Trans Am and the douchiest beard known to man.

superficial

  1. Ginger

    As annoying as she is, she does look decent in a bikini. I approve.
    Just please, please, please remember to crop out that nasty blond-bearded growth that always seems to be attached to her.

  2. mitch

    to #150

    I think its pink!

  3. kitty_kat

    Who wouldn’t have a perfect body with all the money she’s probably spent on hers. I value natural beauty much more, thanks.
    And how can you say she’s hot when she looks so much like Tori Spelling?

  4. Vaginas

    Don’t smile Heidi, you look like a fucking horse.

  5. Assmaster

    I wanna put it in her ass, mmmmmmmmm

  6. Bob

    Well, those pictures look completely natural.

  7. PunkA

    Horseface. Butter face. But a great rack and a popping ass. If only she would just turn around and hide her face, her pics would look way better. Sorta like Audrina.

  8. shan

    I thought this bitch said she doesn’t drink alcohol in an interview? But she consumed margaritas before her “marriage” and now she’s drinking some more on the beach…

    oh the lies and fakeness…like her nose, lips, tits, personality etc..

  9. Geronimo

    She has a great body but her face is weird. And she’s dumb.

  10. Elisha

    I found out what her canadian number is !!! 647 403 1626

  11. Elisha

    I found out what her canadian number is !!! 647 403 1626

  12. MBA Nixon

    I’d bang her so hard in Cabo she’d need a wheelchair to get on the plane home.

  13. Mrs. BoTeaBaggins

    She is so drugged up. Look at her eyes. Obviously you would have to be heavily medicated in order to tolerate Spencer for as long as she has.

  14. Shannon

    GOD someone please shoot this useless, dumb bimbo in the head please.

  15. LargelyGay

    I’d like to watch Spencer watch her fuck a black dude.

  16. michy

    make up at the beach?

  17. jake

    Boring.

  18. jeezey mic jeeze

    I’d fuck her from behind so I wouldnt have to look at her ugly ass face, besides the plastic tittys and the cankles she does have a nice body not a anorexic bitch like the other women posted on this site at least she has some meat on her bones

  19. jaime

    SOOOOOOO this is lame……

  20. D

    one word.. BUTTERFACE.

  21. EuroNeckPain

    The last picture is ugly. Legs: too short.

  22. Amandafoster

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  23. lollipalooza

    I realize we are all just giving the crude bitch what she wants, but right now I can’t help it. She CRAVES attention like no one I’ve ever seen before. Either daddy gave her too much “attention”, or not enough. I wonder what she really thinks when she looks in the mirror? Wouldn’t it be great to hear her thoughts on how wonderful she is? Seriously, it would absolutely crack my shit up.

  24. lollipalooza

    I also agree with #11 Later. Where is all the man skin?

  25. Coco

    @ #8 — You can! And it REALLY needs a shave.

  26. Coco

    #11 – You want man skin? Go to http://www.hotmale.com and leave us to our titties.

  27. Chav

    Ugly ballons she’s got for tits.

  28. richard

    damn thats pretty hot even though shes retarded.

  29. lollipalooza

    Hey Coco #177
    What a prick, you’re just too cheap to buy a hustler, this is your “free” tittie fix
    I get tired of being bombarded by tits and ass CONSTANTLY! If I want to see perfect tits and ass I just look in the mirror. Boring. Show us something new.

  30. David Letterman

    Mmmmmmmmm……….burgers.

  31. Bizzerk

    That chick is hot. All the tubby little internet gossip hounds get so worked up by her great body. Who gives a schitt if she’s stupid … that’s even better.

    Oh, and @ 173 … change the name to http://www.mudsharks.com or http://www.fatwhitewhoreswithnoselfesteem.com or maybe http://www.ihatemyfather.com

  32. The “I’de hit that” comments you see on this site are so funny… I am pretty confident that no one would “hit you”… not even a crack whore and you had five bucks in your hand. Put a pair of plastic tits on half you guys out there you would be an even larger hollywood whore than these two.

  33. Plaxico Burress

    I gotta hand it to these two ka-ka stains, they know how to maket themselves and get rich in the process. If anyone of you who have posted to this story did the same thing I’d applaude you too! Think about it…they did what they do best which is, annoy the fuck out of us and made a nice cozy living out of it. Anyone remember Tom Vu the real estate huckster? He annoyed people back in the late 80′s and early 90′s with his goofy fucking infomercials and now he’s on the Pro Poker Tour! So my advice to all of you is this….find out what you’re good at and make some money annoying the fuck out of the rest of us. Shit…Rosie O’Donnel does it too and the fat pig is laughing her ass all the way to the bank. None of these assholes could hold down regular jobs in the real world because they’d starve. Think about it and get back to me.

  34. I’ve never watched the hills, but I gotta say this chick is hot.

  35. kellie

    her ass is flabby. yuck

  36. kellie

    her ass is flabby. yuck

  37. Heidi Blows

    kill yourself heidi

  38. brandi

    great body. ugly face. end of story.

  39. dsjfhs

    everyone needs to stfu and declare comment 8 the best one since this website became the study hall hangout for high school retards. Thank you #8, I laughed for 20 min

  40. elva

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  41. barry

    hey guys !!we are talking about that all day .we should have some other life styles ,yes? Somedays ago i saw a website http://www.sugarbabymatch.com here..when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!,

  42. nick

    hey guys !!we are talking about that all day .we should have some other life styles ,yes? Somedays ago i saw a website http://www.sugarbabymatch.com here..when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!,

  43. Beautiful blue butt, from a blue pool, near a blue sea, down a blue sky!!!

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