Heidi Montag in her only useful form

December 4th, 2008 // 195 Comments

These are shots from Heidi Montag’s “honeymoon” in Cabo San Lucas where her mom claims she was drugged out of her mind. Does this look like a woman who’s not sure what she’s doing? Not in my book. Clearly, this is someone who’s willing to perform a variety services in exchange for cash. As long as her boyfriend/husband gets to take all the money and use it to buy high tops, a Trans Am and the douchiest beard known to man.

superficial

  1. shirleytemple

    all i’m wondering is..

    WHO THE FUCK IS TAKING ALL THESE PICTURES OF HER???

    does she just run around posing for a flock of paparazzi like they’re her own personal photographers or what the fuck is going on????

    how come NO ONE ever wonders who’s taking these dumbfuck pictures and if the douche twins are actually getting the better of everyone with ridiculously staged photo ops????

    DOES NO ONE NOTICE THAT WE’VE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE REAL CANDID SHOT OF THESE WHORES??? EVER???? I feel like i’m in the twilight zone for fuck’s sake

  2. shirleytemple

    all i’m wondering is..

    WHO THE FUCK IS TAKING ALL THESE PICTURES OF HER???

    does she just run around posing for a flock of paparazzi like they’re her own personal photographers or what the fuck is going on????

    how come NO ONE ever wonders who’s taking these dumbfuck pictures and if the douche twins are actually getting the better of everyone with these ridiculously staged photo ops????

    DOES NO ONE NOTICE THAT WE’VE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE REAL CANDID SHOT OF THESE WHORES??? EVER???? I feel like i’m in the twilight zone for fuck’s sake

  3. Mal

    k I hate her, don’t like blondes, and am a woman, and I still wanna come in her ass in that main pic.

  4. Cartman

    Summary:

    Chick is hot and extremely bangable.

    Dude looks like an animal rapist.

    ———

    Did I miss anything?

  5. Atrides

    Hey Anticlown, how about NOT including ubiquitous audio/video flash ads that play with the most innocent click anywhere outside your blog post column. If I want to watch it, I’ll click on it.

    I’d also be interested in reading what the I Watch Stuff writer has to say about Heather Locklear’s Flirting with Forty.

  6. Toneley

    You’ll find the best selection of hot babes, sexy singles, and beautiful dating right at the exclusive interracial dating community, ***INTERRACIALLOVING.COM***.
    Come in and stay a while. Post a message, a pic of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You are guaranteed to find someone you like here.

  7. Kristen

    fuck you for promoting these bullshit pieces of shit. blahblahblah. I thought you were better than that. I will quit reading if you keep posting about these stupid fucking asshole pieces of shit.

  8. Kristen

    fuck you for promoting these bullshit pieces of shit. blahblahblah. I thought you were better than that. I will quit reading if you keep posting about these stupid fucking asshole pieces of shit.

  9. Chickie

    But’er face!

  10. Bodylotion

    I sure hate this woman (and that fucking idiot boyfriend or whatever it is), but I sure want to shove my penis into her asshole and thrust it over and over again … if you know what I mean.

  11. AmberDextrose

    You can see that she’s no longer a virgin

    (#65 – jesus, that’s some difference. I wonder if she’d let me have her surgeon’s number)

  12. Racist Pig

    I hate blondes and am glad one day they will be extinct. The whole race of blonde types needs to be eradicated and rest assured this will happen soon. No more blue eyed devils.

  13. Kahlee

    God Spencer is horrific looking. Also, who wears 4 different bikinis in one day?

  14. ……………..A “WET” FART, folks?

  15. Clem

    #65 Respect.

    What a sad, lonely person she is.

  16. Nova

    He should just shave already.

  17. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  18. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  19. I’d give my left nut to play Yatzee with her!

  20. J-Bo

    #3…Did you say you want to give it to her raw in the anus? Your words are clouded and innuendo filled…but I think you want to give it to her raw…in the anus.

  21. Fluffy Butt

    That’s a pic i didn’t need to see this early in the morning.

    . or ever for that matter

  22. amy

    I hate these do nothing celebs! she’s hot but super dumb and her boyfriend is a guy that every guy wants to shit kick….who wants to be with a guy like that.

    Free Promo Codes to:
    *ecko, Baby Phat, Rocca Wear, Roots,and more… click on my name

  23. Mr. McCuntlipz

    you stupid fucking cunt, wheere did you learn your trade

  24. sh

    very nice ass

  25. sh

    very nice ass

  26. Frenchy

    I’d like to sniff her cork

  27. Donkey Dong

    Pic #12 – Her ass is getting big…especially her right cheek. It’s getting a little dimpley. Her right thigh looks a little thick and she has cankles.

  28. Hank

    “Hey, it’s a guy with a camera! How cool. What are you doing here? Here, guy with a camera, how’s this? And this? One sec, let me change bikinis…”

    No way this chick doesn’t cry herself to sleep every night in her huge pillah.

  29. dirty schlampe

    Pic #4 – look ! she’s got pratt as her bushy pussy.

  30. sally

    why would anyone pay her for anything when they can see everything on thesuperficial.com I wonder if her gyno just gets on here to do her yearly exam? LOL

  31. person

    I think she is gaining noticible weight. Look at her older pics and now. Still looks good but teetering on the chubby side.

  32. JPRichardson

    If you ignore that she is Heidi Montag, that she is a sick Republican, conservative idiot, that she is a stereotypical retarded american blonde, and then you chop off her head, she would do for a nice fuck.

  33. God’s attempt at humor. Make the most annoying chick of the planet also one of the hottest. Well at least for her body.

  34. Balls McCoy

    @79! Limerick Man rules.

  35. arealcad

    she wants to look like Kristina Blond – an actual porn star.
    http://www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/kristinabl.html

    FYI – link NSFW (sorta)

  36. Bickus Dickus

    I’d fuck her ass until it looked like a broken Cadburry Egg.

  37. The Sabre Tooth Tiger

    This twit is so monumentally unimportant it hurts.

    For any man to insert his penis into any part of it, it would surley see a lowering of his IQ . . .

  38. Parker

    oh yeah? well I’d fuck her ass till she crapped all over herself. Then I’d hose her off and fuck her ass again.

  39. booby

    I would like to bang her…

  40. Matthew

    again superfish STOP POSTING MISS DOUCHE ON THIS SITE ALSO MR.DOUCHE ALSO!

  41. Carlos

    Live and let live. I hold nothing against that girl since I have no idea about how she’s like behind the camera. Heidi ser så bra ut tycker jag!

  42. Spencer Pratt

    I would so love to bang her. I know, I’m married to her but she won’t let me touch the goodies.

  43. vg

    #8 Awesome

    i say best comment any one left ..very Funny

  44. Hefe

    lol @ you jealous cows who are claiming her ass it getting too big or she has cankles.

    as much as i think she’s a stupid, vapid, airheaded bimbo….you can’t say a negative thing about this chick’s body. unless you’re not into the fake boobs. everything else on this moron is built for sex & that’s ok with me.

  45. HoopZeeb

    She’s simply STUNNING!

  46. buttmuncher

    I don’t know who this chick is but I would like to crawl up her butthole and set up camp in there. Bonfires and everything.

  47. Davo

    She’d be the perfect pornstar.

    I think she’s pretty hot. But it’s amazing how even though she’s dating a caveman looking guy, she did WAY better than Christina Aguilera! Ironic, as Alanis would say…or sing.

  48. O.J. Simpson

    Man! Dat iz one hot white woman! Too bad all I’z ever gonna git the next 15 years is man dizol.

  49. LargelyGay

    Nice round, fat ass for a white, spoiled, suburban chick.

    CUNT!!!

  50. LargelyGay

    I bet her asshole is mad brown.
    Since she’s so pale and all.

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