Heidi Montag in a Bikini

April 11th, 2010 // 299 Comments

The mannequin known as Heidi Montag hosted the opening of Liquid in Vegas on Saturday and there’s literally no way to describe these pics without equating them to a large-breasted candle you’d have sex with. Sort of like those slutty Yankee Candles who keep tricking me.

ME: I thought there’d be cookies after…
CANDLE: BITCH, WHAT I’D SAY ABOUT TALKING?!

superficial

  1. this is dizzy stuff folks

    Schwing! Damn, she would go off like a fire cracker in the sack!

  2. OMG

    ZUM KOTSENNNNNNN

  3. She is…… I have no words for that.auto second hand

  4. TaraJoii

    on pic #31 it looks like she is trying to make sure her dick stays tucked and lookin down to make sure its working

    i hate her almost as much as her husband
    that lil shit there if he ever got in my face actin a fool like he did to the snapple lady i would of layed his ugly ass out cold right then n there

    but we all just have to remember her 15 mins in the spotlight caused a diva who actually thinks she is a celeb lmao yeah ok keep on dreamin that people actually wanna hear ur lame ass music or even see you “try” to act

  5. me

    SHE IS FAT! LOOK AT HER UGLY LEGS AND GUT THAT EVEN LIPO COULDN’T FIX!!! HAHAHAHA

  6. Heidi Blair Pratt (née Montag; born September 15, 1986) is an American reality television personality and recording artist. Montag is known for appearing on the MTV reality series The Hills, which began airing in 2006. The series followed the life of Lauren Conrad, with whom Montag shared an apartment. During the series, Montag began dating fellow cast member Spencer Pratt, whom she eventually married in November 2008. The pair are currently filming the sixth season of the series, while Conrad left to pursue a career in the fashion industry.
    i also want to share with you regarding Acai Optimum.It is a premium weight loss plan for present generation. The product comprises freshest and purest Acai extracts that are globally acknowledged for its high ORAC value and powerful antioxidant agents. This efficacious blend strengthens your body replenishing all lost nutrients naturally.

  7. Never in my life, these images did not keep me so limp!! I dosed almost a waste of my time to look at this. Hide n seek is not my game. See Heidi spread eagle, and commentary by pussy lips 20 £. Weights, corn and baseball bats are holed up w / 2, and I had a flash of the eye.

  8. Unbelievable – so many plastic surgeries and such an average look! I would sue the plastic surgeon!

  9. Sad little broken girl with fuzzy, orange eyebrows and a man face….Ever take notice how guys seem to always gravitate toward the women who look like trannies? Makes ya wonder……

  10. mike

    Her face is ugly and the rest of her is fake, what a fucking bimbo.

  11. Everyone likes money, but I still find it a bit disconcerting that a surgeon would consent to this.

  12. this dipshit obviously never got laid before he got paid…”

    Well being that he was about fucking 12 when he got ‘paid’, genius…

  13. Erin

    Seriously. This is a little over board don’t you think? I’m all for letting people do what they want with out my opinion being needed (seeing as I’m a nobody) but really?! She’s like the Joan Rivers of my generation it’s pathetic. Spencer finds this attractive? Didn’t she like change everything about herself to please him? As far as her being perfect there’s no such thing, she’s completely fake now literally. She sees a flaw and bam she changes it. Well Heidi I see a flaw. Stretch marks on your butt, that’s about the only thing that’s real on you anymore. She says she wants to have kids is she going to let her daughter get surgery when she’s 15 if she doesn’t like herself? What kind of example is she setting. God what is wrong with people these days?! She looks like a cheap whore. Oh and by the way where did her eyebrows go? I can’t seem to find those in any of these pictures. She must dye those too.

  14. Name (required):

    It looks like she’s got a five o’clock shadow at the bikini line. And, it’s not blonde hair growing in down there.

    There’s just no accounting for taste or lack thereof!

  15. liame

    It looks like she’s got a five o’clock shadow at the bikini line. And, it’s not blonde hair growing in down there.

    There’s just no accounting for taste or lack thereof!

  16. yoobie

    Way back before she became Barbies clone, she has bugged me since the moment I laid eyes on her. Not for how plain looking she naturally was but her personality is that of a dinner plate. I couldn’t tell you what Irked me about her but it is something way deep down inside her, underneath the plastic shell in the hallow depths of her soul.

    Plastic body or no plastic body, who this girl is a a total mundane, conventionalist, girl with no aspect of spunk or originality, a total follower.

    Her claim to fame is now being a playboy model, because she can’t do much else, and her career will be dead in 6 months flat. In 10 years she will be a total nobody. Michael Jackson had the privledge to be epic, but there is nothing epic about this girl except her daring venture into a 15 hour surgery.

    It’s not so much her surgery that bothers me, just who she really is on the inside but wants to run from. And that person is a total waste to society.

    But yeah her cheekbone implants make her look like the HULK

  17. http://www.nike-airjordanshoes.com
  18. Way back before she became Barbies clone, she has bugged me since the moment I laid eyes on her. Not for how plain looking she naturally was but her personality is that of a dinner plate. I couldn’t tell you what Irked me about her but it is something way deep down inside her, underneath the plastic shell in the hallow depths of her soul.

  19. gigi9

    lol poor girl, i mean she looks sad-guess botox eventualy makes u unable to smile decently-dont want to get a crack in there oops =)

  20. gigi

    did she get arse implants too? lol i think she is doin an advertising job of all the different sorts of fake things you can have,

  21. Honestly, Heidi looked better before all the surgery without all the fake boobs. You can totally tell they are fake because they are so plump. She has a great body, i wish i looked like that except for the boobs. Its just being around all the superficial crap thats warped her whole mind concept. But she is who she is and if she likes it, thats all that matters. But i have always loved Heidi, always will:)

  22. the music of the happiest life. We have to imagine the embrace of the happy days of time and space through the rough years, the long and arduous journey through the bewildering, the Wandering through the vast desert, so happy times together will always remain in our Taoyuan Village!
    89 dollar replica watches

  23. Not for how plain looking she naturally was but her personality is that of a dinner plate.
    Way back before she became Barbies clone, she has bugged me since the moment I laid eyes on her. I couldn’t tell you what Irked me about her but it is something way deep down inside her, underneath the plastic shell in the hallow depths of her soul.

  24. haha wow….she used to be sooo pretty! now she just looks fake, nothing about her is unique anymore. How is being fake, being pretty? I just don’t get why she would do this to herself! FAIL. Well, sucks for her! Shes never gonna be as pretty as she once was…ever!

  25. yaratan sevdi?ine ba???las?n ne diyim thanks

  26. dostum siten çok güzel thank yu

  27. haha wow….she used to be sooo pretty! now she just looks fake, nothing about her is unique anymore. How is being fake, being pretty? I just don’t get why she would do this to herself! FAIL. Well, sucks for

  28. freak

    If Barbie was real she would be called Heidi Montag. I bet she doesnt actually have nipples or a va jay jay under that tiny two peice.

  29. Priceless

    Looks like she suceeded in her purpose to become the first Human flotation device. It’s ok to have big boobs but they are much too big for her frame. At least be proportional. Can you imagine if she falls face forward? Nothing else would touch the ground but the boobs. She’s trying to look like CoCo…Ice-T’s wife.

  30. She is absolutely perfect. all women should look like this.

  31. B

    She wanted to be perfect, and she’s pretty fuckin close. All these girls cryin how “ugly” she looks, pretty sure she’s hotter than you skanks. No i’m positive, becuase this girl is a bombshell now.

  32. frankieyoyo

    I don’t care what any jealous stupid bitches say,

    this girl looks mother fucking hot.

    god DAMN what an ass, god DAMN what a rack.

    This is the female prototype

  33. kaykaya

    eww, she looks so fake. “She is absolutely perfect. all women should look like this.” and THIS is why women worry so much about their looks. because men think all women should look like fucking barbies. well FYI, no one naturally looks like this.

  34. Marcela

    I’m a woman and yes, I get jealous of certain hot celebrities (like Megan Fox – hate that sexy bitch)…but this is NOTHING to get jealous over. She really does look like a wax sculpture. It’s fucking scary, to say the least.

    The only attractive part of her is her waist…it’s really tiny and toned. And one of the few natural parts she has left…I think.

  35. and want to change jobs opportunities. Although the secretary when she felt no future, but it does very easily, when she was not confident of writing, lost the fight began.

  36. and want to change jobs opportunities. Although the secretary when she felt no future, but it does very easily, when she was not confident of writing, lost the fight began.

  37. B-Master

    Hey guys, you want a pick up a hot babe. Easy.
    Just throw your library card on the ground then say “hi there, it looks like some rich dude seemed to have dropped his credit card”. As soon as she bends over to pick it up….Ram her!

  38. joya

    I strongly recommend great club___M e e t i n g W e a l t h y ? c o m

    ____where I just met my wealthy boyfriend. Check it out

  39. I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
    I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
    I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
    I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
    I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

  40. very beautifull ! I love you !

  41. Matt

    Dead within a year – guaranteed.

  42. blast the man

    I’D LUBE UP MY DICK AND SLID IT RIGHT BETWEEN THOSE TITS OMG!!!!!!

  43. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Hulk Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    Just look at it.

Leave A Comment