Heidi Montag in a Bikini

The mannequin known as Heidi Montag hosted the opening of Liquid in Vegas on Saturday and there’s literally no way to describe these pics without equating them to a large-breasted candle you’d have sex with. Sort of like those slutty Yankee Candles who keep tricking me.

ME: I thought there’d be cookies after…
CANDLE: BITCH, WHAT I’D SAY ABOUT TALKING?!