Heidi Montag in a bikini

April 30th, 2009 // 198 Comments

Since I just posted about fake breasts and dumb, what better follow-up than Heidi Montag in a bikini? Here she is on her honeymoon in Mexico, and of course, even then she’s still posing for pics. Seriously, I bet this chick can’t go to the bathroom without taking at least three paparazzi and enough lighting equipment to render a pregnancy test pointless.

“It’s a girl, Ms. Montag!”
“Neat. *FLUSH* I’m gonna pose next to the towel rack now.”

superficial

  1. L Wilbs

    SHE NEEDS TO SHUT HER MOUTH

  2. Verez

    I love her.

  3. fake ass!

    i think she surgically enhanced her ass..but who knows

  4. fake ass!

    i think she surgically enhanced her ass..but who knows

  5. I d love to tap that

  6. I d love to tap that

  7. I d love to tap that

  8. weirdo

    God I’d totally wreck that ass until I friction burned all the skin off my cock!

  9. ling

    http://www.usmagazine.com/files/heidi_montage_main.jpg

    enough said. however, i will give her props for the ass.

  10. .

    #146 with Spencer Pratt as her husband, buttfucking is the only kind of fucking she gets. Poor girl needs a real man.

  11. Why?

    Why should an obnoxious butterface have such a great ass? It’s just not right.

  12. Keifer Sutherland

    I hope they get a super virus of the swine flu, bird flu and aids.

  13. These pictures seem justified. This is what she should be doing more of for attention.

  14. Or just go ahead and get naked.

    Why not make a bikini out of surgical masks, then ride a pig like a horse? That might get attention.

  15. Ha!

    #164
    hahahahahah! You nailed it. Hahahahahaah

  16. Robert

    I love everything about this girl – her politics, the fact that she’s not afraid to say what she believes, and she’s got a great body! Keep it up Heidy!

  17. Adonis

    Her body is great, but she has a horsier face than Sarah Jessica Parker ever did. I can’t get past that and her stupid facial expressions, and just HER in general. If you taped her mouth shut and put a bag over her head, then she’d be worth the trouble. Her hips, butt, and legs are nearly perfect.

  18. dee21

    what a great vacationing spot… for CHEAP ASSES i could pay $1500 for a 5 star all-include resort reserved in 3…2…1 second!

    not to mention the swine flu :) but then again these 2 douchebags deserve it.

  19. RtSS

    OMG, I’d like to pack her poopchute. Especially in the image where she’s on her hands and knees on the net. I could see her face and dreamy eyes like in that one photo as I was drilling into that dirt tunnel of hers. She would be clinching and her eyes would start to water in the corner.

  20. bo

    great ass, too bad its a plastic one.

  21. row-shell

    i dont get it one minute shes wereing the mask and the other shes not …. i think she was only looking for a photo opp.

  22. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  23. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  24. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  25. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  26. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  27. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  28. VladMeg

    Have you heard anything about Meg/ Vlad? They are getting divorced! Because she found out that her husband had sex with one of her ex-male friend! *gasp* you can google it. Vlad is definitely homo….

    Vlad, if you read this. You are fucking SICKO!! Are you trying to prove people you are straight and married to F-UGLY Meg?!

    Vlad- I don’t find you very attractive cause your hair started thinning and baldddd… LMAO.

    Meg-yuck. I’m sorry to say this but some of members from Purseforum say you are not really pretty at all because you have a lot of wrinkle around your eyes. *sigh* did you know botox cause cancer and damaged skin?! DRINK WATER! YOU MORON FUCKIN-UGLY-WITCH! Bwaabababa!

  29. notfunny

    say what you will about her, but she has a banging ass

  30. stop covering these two

    It’s a good thing she’s wearing the mask because it hides her HUGE chin and can’t stand his under bite either.

  31. For More Click on my name

  32. Pilatunes

    Please, someone, anyone…rid us of the Pratt. Heidi, well, that’s a pretty fine figure there, but somehow I know she’d drive me fuckin’ crazy in person. And not in a good way.

  33. chupacabra

    you know, I’m going to be honest, she does NOT look like a very good lay.

    You can just tell with some people that they are incredible in bed (penelope cruz, salma hayek, angelina jolie, probably demi moore in her former days). She does NOT have THAT LOOK. I think she has probably never had a real orgasm. If she had, she didn’t understand it. I think she gets off on thinking she’s popular, or rich, or famous. I think you’d have to put tape over her mouth, pull her hair and spank into submission to get off on this one, but you’ll never, I mean, NEVER get her to anything TO YOU that feels good. She’s just gonna lay there and twist her hair or look at her manicure.

  34. Pilatunes

    I wonder if she chews with her mouth open. It’s open all the rest of the time.

  35. steven

    beloved sexy girl. http://www.bldogwang.cn/

  36. stewie

    I dont think that whore is anywhere NEAR of being sexy. Being sexy is about attitude and natural looks, charisma.
    She is just so fake “ooh im sexy with my mouth open and my eyes half-closed look at me”

    but okay, i got it, most of you guys are from usa. THAT explains it why you are thinking that she is hot. ew. nasty.

  37. in some of these she sometimes doesnt look like she has a horse face. nice!

  38. World Swimwear has some cute swimsuits.

  39. I love that this is the only picture I’ve ever seen that appears to be a candid taken behind the scenes perhaps even without their knowledge…and they could not seem less interested in one another. LOL. So perfect.

  40. the best model of the world.and very sexy

  41. she so hot but idiot.

  42. I love that this is the only picture I’ve ever seen that appears to be a candid taken behind the scenes perhaps even without their knowledge…and they could not seem less interested in one another. LOL. So perfect.

  43. Good topic. Thanks.

  44. Thanks for your good topic. Good done.

  45. www.thesuperficial.com

    Www thesuperficial.. Awful :)

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