Heidi Montag in a bikini

April 30th, 2009 // 198 Comments

Since I just posted about fake breasts and dumb, what better follow-up than Heidi Montag in a bikini? Here she is on her honeymoon in Mexico, and of course, even then she’s still posing for pics. Seriously, I bet this chick can’t go to the bathroom without taking at least three paparazzi and enough lighting equipment to render a pregnancy test pointless.

“It’s a girl, Ms. Montag!”
“Neat. *FLUSH* I’m gonna pose next to the towel rack now.”

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    She should run with Miss California in ’12

  2. Bryan

    You complain about this bitch “posing” everywhere and yet you’re the asshole posting every single picture up of her. Stop posting them, or stop bitching.

  3. John Doe

    i would definitely suck his cock… or make him suck mine, better

  4. mikeock

    Cheesus H. Chrysler, that is one fine ass!!!!!!!!! How’d that fag she married get that?

  5. bbbB§

    thick legs..bitch
    why are you guys interested in this bitch anyway? its so OVVIO

  6. sam

    Look at pic 4. What are those wierd little veins sticking up inside her hip bones and above her bikini bottom? What a freak.

  7. PostmortemG

    “She needs a real man to bang her senseless for days and then she will quit talking like an idiot.”

    I agree.

    “As ridiculous as this “marketing people as an annoying brand” thing has gotten there’s no denying her body is smoking hot.”

    I agree again.

    “I would say this is by far the hottest chick ever posted on this site by far. I don’t care about her personality or douche husband. She is one smokin’ hot babe.
    Period.”

    I agree again.

    “Sorry, but I think her body is hot. I’d soak her in urine and spank her bare ass till it was pink.”

    I don’t know about the urine part, but spanking her sounds fun. =D

    “However, she is by far the absolute hottest chick in Hollywood and I would spend countless hours eating that plastic Barbie-looking ass of hers”

    I agree again.

    “You will never see Kim Kardaskank show off her butt in a bikini like Heidi unless the picture has been airbrushed.”

    You speak the truth, sir/ma’am. My final verdict? Heidi Montag is more desirable to more people than that other hooker K.K. Both of them are vapid and plastic, but i must be said that I’d take Heidi Montag over K.K. any time, any day.

  8. veronica

    close your fucking mouth you are not a model and youre not sexy

  9. Her body must be pissed for being attached to her head.

  10. pxs

    Fish. Why don’t you just not bother with any title or text for this vapid bitch, and post just her pictures in future for the compulsory fap-material?

    Save all the words for other more news-worthy articles. Or, at least, real people -_-

  11. Carolyn

    Couple of lame-ass shitbirds with stupid masks on.

  12. gigi

    John Doe @ # 53- that’s so hot….. and the masks are absolutely brilliant, the tan lines must have been spectacular! hahaaaaaa

  13. not a butterface lover

    RichPort’s Ghost – April 30, 2009 3:08 PM

    Her body must be pissed for being attached to her head.

    HUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHAUHAUHAUHAUHUAHUAHHAHAUAUAH

    LAUGHD OUT REAL LOUD

    GENIOUS

    stupid butterface

  14. gh

    Ok. She is irrelevant and she is a butterface. But still much better to look at than those pics of lohan (**shudder**)

  15. Run n Gun

    This is how all attractive women should be – gagged.

    They should only be allowed to speak when giving head. In between breaths

  16. Mer

    I HATE THEM!!!

    PLEASE DONT POST ABOUT THEM ANY MORE!!! PLEASE!!!!!

    LOOK AT THEM!! GOD, THEYRE SO RIDICULOUS…

  17. yo

    yea she looks good, its true. but the narcissism these two exhibit is a little unsettling. but i have to say its pretty lame to pose like shes at a photo shoot. embarrassing actually. but if you think about it, i guess she is at a photo shoot. hmm. still kinda wierd. like instead of just living their lives they pose like they’re living their lives.

  18. Why are these muppets wearing surgical masks?
    I thaught it was pretty much fact that they are only useful for helping prevent people already infected from spreading pork aids.

  19. Why are these muppets wearing surgical masks?
    I thaught it was pretty much fact that they’re for helping prevent infected people from spreading their pork aids to others. Not to stop people from getting it themselves.

  20. HankTheDwarf

    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE
    SHIT FECES COME OUT OF THERE

  21. flairwoo

    Please..somebody…give them the swine flu!

  22. jlylec

    she’s really dumb and annoying…and i hate her. but holy FUCK her body is sick and would get absolutely destroyed by me.

  23. tigerbaby

    I wonder how many more IQ points she would need to be able to CLOSE HER DAMN MOUTH ALREADY!

  24. i think heidi montag is like getting an anthrax in the mail from tiffany’s. you get excited by the package until it opens up you see what is inside and makes you dead.

  25. Dr. McNasty

    Spencer can suck Heidi’s butt chocolate off my Oscar Meyer wiener after I’ve slammed that non-virgin asshole for an hour or so.

  26. double fuckin post ><

  27. Mickey Moose

    Heidi Montag would be a spectacular doggy fuck. Lay in, push her face down, pull her hair, thumb in ass, and it’s like Fourth of July on a loop.

  28. Dave

    I hope they get bit by a cobra.

  29. Speidie Die

    # 10, ahhh, but she DOES have a creepy flesh colored beard…and his name is Spencer Pratt….or is it Spencer Montag, now?…

  30. Keith

    I hope a jackal eats her hands.

  31. d'Oh

    80th!

  32. D'Oh

    81st!

  33. Wesley Willis

    I hope a dingo eats their feet.

  34. Joe Blow

    I’d hit it… with an ax handle.

  35. Speidie Die

    Really, with her mouth forever hanging open in that elegant, slack jawed, mouth breather way that it always is, shouldn’t she have wadded up that mask and just stuffed it in her pie hole? I mean, wouldn’t that be more protective for her? I know it would be more protective for the rest of us…

  36. NxIxCxKxMxAxNx

    Heidi is hot, sorry to say. Also, those fvcking facemasks won’t do shit to prevent the stupidass flu

  37. Conscience_Found

    She’s mint. Tell everybody.

  38. Jajajaja, the mask , all we are crazy!!!!

  39. meme

    Say what you want about her, but she has a hot body. Hell I’d do her and I’m a chick. Just get the paper bag out.

  40. pappy smeary

    she looks good, would look a lot better without those stupid fake fucking tits though

  41. Eva

    Looks a 100% better with that mask over her giant chin.

  42. She's the prettiest

    Heidi is gorgeous and you can’t take that away from her. She is almost perfect. She did not need to do anything to change her looks but Hollywood is a bunch of pervert and crooks and all the women are more or less coerced to do plastic.
    Fuck Hollywood.

    White people need their own TV stations so we can broadcast our own culture and not that of the parasites. Smash those ticks!

  43. M

    hahahahha omfgwtfbbq

  44. justin

    Since they are in mexico, does this mean there is a chance they will never come back to america? awsome!

  45. buttons

    hey, i have to give it to her – she has a body to fucking die for! great hair too. shame she is an absolute moron…and about the chin/face.

  46. Lewalleew

    That dumbass doesn’t deserve to brand the name Canon around his neck. Faggot probably doesn’t even know how to use a SLR.

  47. James

    The Pratt’s turning into a fucking fat-ass. Oh well, at least the mask is helping his looks some.

  48. jenny

    WHY WONT THESE ASSCLOWNS JUST DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

  49. jenny

    WHY WONT THESE ASSCLOWNS JUST DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Leave A Comment