“Spencer ordered about seven bunches of flowers to cheer up Heidi because she’d received a letter or an e-mail saying that her plastic surgery was against God’s will,” a neighbor of the couple tells Life & Style. “Heidi’s apparently very spiritual, so this kind of criticism really stings.”
Really stings, huh? Then she probably won’t want to read this e-mail I just got from Jesus:
Dude, did you see Heidi Montag? WTF? If I wanted her to look like Life-Size Barbie I would’ve made Dream Cars fly out of her ass. Granted Ken and Spencer have the same downtown anatomy, that’s not my point.
Anyway, she’s totally not coming up here to give me high-fives and shoot gay people with automatic weapons all day. I don’t care how big and round and big her breasts are. Not like I can’t see them up from up here. Amirite?
Count Cockulong (That’s my new nickname. Embrace it, bitch.)