Heidi Montag flaps her monster yap on Letterman

May 1st, 2008 // 103 Comments

Heidi Montag stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman* last night (video after the jump) where she expanded on the revived rumors about Lauren Conrad’s sex tape. While looking like Barbie’s sister with Extra Chin Power, Heidi went through her usual schtick about The Hills before reiterating the existence of the tape, according to Us Magazine:

“I tried to help her get it back for, like, a year,” Montag said on the Late Show With David Letterman Wednesday. “I was like, ‘You gotta get it back, you gotta do something about this.’”
When Conrad’s ex Jason Wahler threatened to release it, Montag claimed, “she was like, ‘I don’t know what to do…’ I was like, ‘Well, let’s get it back.’
“Next thing I know,” Montag continued, “it’s blamed on me. All of a sudden, I made up the sex tape… I didn’t film it, I didn’t do it, I’m not trying to sell it. How did it come down on me?”

If I stood across the street, I’m pretty sure I could toss a whole orange straight into her mouth. No, wait, that’s not right. Make it a cantaloupe. Betting starts at 5 PM EST. Deeds to houses, wives (Preferably sans penis.) and Ferraris accepted.

*How the hell did Heidi Montag get on Letterman?: A Superficial Companion Piece on Media: You see, kids, Viacom owns MTV which airs The Hills and also CBS which airs Letterman. Bam! Presto, change-o, Dave spends a full hour crying in his dressing room then bathes in pure gold and baby seal hearts. True story.

Photos: Splash News
Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. who was her dresser?
    …………………………………A DAMN FAGGOT!!

  2. mccain

    #50.

    please move to switzerland, our country would be better without your existence. as well as the rest of the democratic idiots out there.

  3. squash

    just out of curiosity, do you actually know anything about politics? im just curious.

  4. So #52 Maccain.
    You joking right ? Or you just joke ?
    Having any problems with , say, free fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure ? Stand down of NORAD ? Molten metal in ruins.
    Find any WMD ? etc.

  5. Knee – you forgot the NY Times report that all the military analysts (talking heads) on the MSM, and on Jon Stewart ,Charles Adler in Canada etc. – like Jed Babin – who promoted Mideast aggression – were coached and rated on their performance by Rumsfeld and the Pentagon, and most were working for military contractors profiting from war.
    And now the MSM and ‘Comedy’ shows like Stewart are ignoring their complete compliance and don’t bother to report the story….
    ‘Frank’ form 16th Floor : Something smells here Notes, and I don’t think it’s 15th floor. (Well ok, could be 14 as well)

  6. a

    she is so white and pale

  7. That was going to be my second point #56 – you beat me to it.
    (Damn)

  8. Anal Fistula

    imagine interviewing former presidents and current vapid cunts in the same month…time for a drink!

  9. NY Ted

    “Like I would like to…kind of like stick my cock…and like my big balls…like into… like your big… like mouth…and like see you…like choke as I like shove them like down your…like throat Heidi…becuse like I think that you are… like a big poser like slut… like…!”

  10. Hey Notes – You and your links are a bit lame.
    We saw that media ‘ignoring’ propaganda story long ago – like at #71 on a Jennifer Aniston thread about April 22 or so – on the that shitty entertainment drivel site ‘The Superficial’.
    So – WTF ? Can’t you and Errianna figure out your own views a bit earlier ? Or read threads a bit faster ? Like maybe April 23 to say 26 or so we could understand…But this is MAY ! SHIT ! I might just start listening to this Chinese guy.
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : We day ahead over here in Hong Kong…but…well…ok….
    I guess it all start in the schools…

  11. LEGS

    I hate to admit it… but the girl’s got legs! … she’s missing the brain.

  12. Peyton

    I just happened to catch this idiot on Regis and Kelly earlier in the week – she did the same schtick on that show as she did on Letterman. I had to stop and think, wait… didn’t I already watch this like four days ago? Not an original bone in her body.

  13. p911gt10c

    The old Dave wouldn’t have let this moron come on the show.

  14. joe

    # 34 you are sick !

  15. #48 jenn,
    I love the dress also, so sissy and feminine.

  16. heidiwood belongs in walmart

    Dave has really sunken to a new low.

    It’s pretty safe to say that Heidi has earned the title “queen of beating a dead horse” with her silly teenage angst. Isn’t she in her twenties by now? No one cares about a stupid staged reality show riff that happened 2 years ago, and this idiot is trying to build some sort of a carrier from it. I guess it makes sense since Spencer is the “master mind” behind this dog and pony show. He looks pretty slow with that retarded expression of his. I don’t think these whores even realizes that they are a side show that smells of stinky desperate trashiness. She can glue on 2 tons of extensions on her skull and spend 100 grand on plastic surgery but she will always be a short legged horse face whore.

  17. Jack

    She is so beautiful!I love her.Maybe many men like her,too.If you want to know her more,you would go to “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m “.She is also on “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m “,there are a lot of reports about her.You can contact her on
    that site.

  18. beautiful women can fit any awful dresses nicely.

  19. It’s tabloid Barbie!
    Didn’t anyone tell her they are NOT making the Legally Porn movie?

  20. ph7

    She a human blow up doll. I want to bang her bad!

  21. Idiots

    These people are what is wrong with America.

  22. Morons

    Yes, Republicans and their uneducated ilk (see Heidi Montag, unschooled morons here, etc.) are certainly what is wrong with America. We are the laughing stock of the entire world as we not once but TWICE (well the first time was questionable) elected a man who started a war under false allegations (WMD, anyone), and who is a complete moron to boot. Fools love George Bush because he is a stupid as they are and affirms their utter ignorance and idiocy. The forget he is no normal fool- this rich boy rode Daddy’s coat-tails through Yale up to the White House. At least Obama is brilliant enough to have gotten into Harvard without having Daddy’s money pave the way. He’s worked for everything he has and actually gives a damn about the nation’s young people (healthcare anyone?) rather than callously sending them off to die like Bush, the fucking coward who ran away rather then serve his country in a war, yet has no problem sending thousands of Americans to die senselessly.

  23. norton

    Heidi Montag = Pain in the Ass.

    It’s simply amazing what passes for “celebrity” today.

  24. Sue

    You know… she kind of looks like Miss Piggy.

  25. squash

    Ugh. Young Republicans and Democrats seriously need to chill the fuck out. Politically and environmentally, I’m a hard core liberal (go diesel!), but my economical views are really pretty conservative. Both sides have some very valid views, and both sides have some fucking idiots on their side. I love Obama, very intelligent, very charming man. I’m sure he and Clinton are no fools, but they are both spewing garbage about the economy. Whether they are completely misinformed or whether they’re twisting the facts to a population that largely has no idea about anything to do with the economy is irrelevant.

    Basically.. stop thinking you’re better than the other side, cause you’re not. I bet the majority of you (not all of you, but a good amount) have no idea about any of the issues tied in with this presidential election. So why get so heated about opposite parties.

    Jesus. You people need to drink more often.

  26. squash

    Ugh. Young Republicans and Democrats seriously need to chill the fuck out. Politically and environmentally, I’m a hard core liberal (go diesel!), but my economical views are really pretty conservative. Both sides have some very valid views, and both sides have some fucking idiots on their side. I love Obama, very intelligent, very charming man. I’m sure he and Clinton are no fools, but they are both spewing garbage about the economy. Whether they are completely misinformed or whether they’re twisting the facts to a population that largely has no idea about anything to do with the economy is irrelevant.

    Basically.. stop thinking you’re better than the other side, cause you’re not. I bet the majority of you (not all of you, but a good amount) have no idea about any of the issues tied in with this presidential election. So why get so heated about opposite parties.

    Jesus. You people need to drink more often.

  27. fygu

    I am so happy and proud to say that I have never heard her speak. I avoid all things Hills.

  28. Torie

    What the F-ck is she wearing? That completly looks like a night gown. Is this something her dumb ass designed? I would never buy shit from this dumb annoying bitch!

  29. Assmosis

    Someone needs to teach this tranny how to smile. I’m thinking a Glasgow smile would do very nicely.

  30. josh

    just fyi. Viacom doesn’t own CBS anymore. But their prior relationship probably got that moron, Heidi, on the show.

  31. Asif

    What is with her shoulders and neck? She looks like this Chilean comedienne: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0fvQQtkqoA

  32. Assmosis

    Someone needs to teach this tranny how to smile. I’m thinking a Glasgow smile would do very nicely.

  33. Asif

    What is with her shoulders and neck? She looks like this Chilean comedienne: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0fvQQtkqoA

  34. sugertits

    Her zitty forehead is a nice finishing touch to the hideousness that is her face.

  35. Where does she gets her dresses from?!

    The more she gets on TV or magazines, the cheaper her dresses get!…It kinda reminds me of chinese mass production.

  36. pak31

    Her face before surgery was that of a down to earth, girl next door type. Now, she looks awful. Her bleached blonde hair color does nothing for her, her nose job actually makes her look plainer and uglier because the wider nose took away from her larger jaw and mouth. Now her face looks like it’s fake. She really does have a wide jaw and a long face and a large mouth. Now that she’s had this done, she thinks that she is this raving beauty and she’s making an ass out of herself. She is a narcissist.

  37. lord of all things

    holy crap ken and barbie have come to life, I gotta lay off that acid

  38. Lulu

    Can someone please tell me what they do and what their claim to fame is? All I know is they are both spoiled and are under the impression that they are attractive (he looks like a made over Geico cave man with those brows and she looks like an over-processed horse face – sorry to the horses for the insult) – do they do anything good for society? Or just pose for cameras and act like snobby, over-entitled, fugly, talentless, trashy “people”?

  39. Katelyn

    She was probably not her self and was tired maybe thats why

  40. Katelyn

    She was probably not her self and was tired maybe thats why

  41. lioerr

    You can check out more her blog at B L A C K W H I T E K I S S .C O M For girls to meet single, handsome men . both black and white

  42. jack

    Umm Mr. Superficial writer I thought you ought to know than CBS is no longer owned by Viacom it is owned by CBS Corp. , god why don’t you wiki stuff before you post it on the web.

  43. Heidi'sugly

    LOL….Post 36 is right on.

    I think she is plastic and gross. Pasty, plastic, and gross.

  44. Alicia

    I hate that prick of a boyfriend of hers, he is so freakin ugly too. Someone needs to get her some proactive or something, her face is gross and she isn’t cute at all. Oh and you might want to get rid of your gum if you’re going to open your mouth like a horse. EEEEEEEEw. THEY BUG ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. All I know is that Lauren Conrad – “LC” from MTV’s “The Hills” and “Laguna Beach” is the quintessential American beauty and clearly one of the classiest and most beautiful women on the planet ! If you have any doubts, check out my gallery of HOT LC pics at:

    http://galleryofbeautifulwomen.blogspot.com/2008/05/lauren-conrad-lc.html

    Cheers !

  46. Ben

    It concerns me with someone with nothing intelligent or useful to add our society and who in fact appears to revel in her complete stupidity can get onto Letterman!

    If she was annoying and had talent, i could cope. But she is just awful. It is so good to read some of your comments above. Lets hope she fades away into obscurity and people get bored with her soon enough! May we live in hope!!

  47. yeah what the hell is with heidi montags chin did she have an implant done that thing is monstrous, does anyone have a link to this ditz’s facebook profile? i wonder if she chips and chizels that thing with a chizel

  48. DJ Cheesepoop

    She’s so fuckable. Dumb as a donkey, but so freaking hot. Both before and after surgery.

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