Heidi Montag stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman* last night (video after the jump) where she expanded on the revived rumors about Lauren Conrad’s sex tape. While looking like Barbie’s sister with Extra Chin Power, Heidi went through her usual schtick about The Hills before reiterating the existence of the tape, according to Us Magazine:
“I tried to help her get it back for, like, a year,” Montag said on the Late Show With David Letterman Wednesday. “I was like, ‘You gotta get it back, you gotta do something about this.’”
When Conrad’s ex Jason Wahler threatened to release it, Montag claimed, “she was like, ‘I don’t know what to do…’ I was like, ‘Well, let’s get it back.’
“Next thing I know,” Montag continued, “it’s blamed on me. All of a sudden, I made up the sex tape… I didn’t film it, I didn’t do it, I’m not trying to sell it. How did it come down on me?”
If I stood across the street, I’m pretty sure I could toss a whole orange straight into her mouth. No, wait, that’s not right. Make it a cantaloupe. Betting starts at 5 PM EST. Deeds to houses, wives (Preferably sans penis.) and Ferraris accepted.
*How the hell did Heidi Montag get on Letterman?: A Superficial Companion Piece on Media: You see, kids, Viacom owns MTV which airs The Hills and also CBS which airs Letterman. Bam! Presto, change-o, Dave spends a full hour crying in his dressing room then bathes in pure gold and baby seal hearts. True story.
sportsdvl | May 1, 2008 at 4:44 pm
omg FIRST!
They White Urkle | May 1, 2008 at 4:45 pm
what is that dried up spoog in her mouth?
Em | May 1, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Heidi Montag’s attempt at being pensive (see pics 3,4,6 & 7) has me laughing quietly to myself. Check that – my attempt at contained laughter now has me shooting Dr. Pepper straight out of my nose and onto the keyboard as I type. Crappppppppppppppppppppppp…………………………….. Now the keys are sticking. Thanks, Fish.
no straight guy would say this | May 1, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I don’t care about her tits and legs, she’s so dumb and annoying I’d never want to fuck her!
Mandy | May 1, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Hey Superficial writer! Take a break from being irritating and mind-numbingly humourless to read THIS!
I’m not a fan of The Hills. Never watched so much as an episode. And Heidi Montag seems to be an idiot, so make fun of her personality as much as you want. But she is drop dead GORGEOUS. Any guy would get with her, just purely based on looks. The fact that you have to scrutinize her until you find something slightly off (her chin, according to you) is so pathetic. Let’s see you post a picture of your face on here and we’ll all run rampant with the critique!
kat | May 1, 2008 at 4:53 pm
you know, i was going to bitch and moan about the fact that once again we are having to look at her ugly mug. hence creating more publicity for this used up dish rag. but then i scrolled to the top of the page to see the word “superficial”. i immediately realized that this twit is the poster child for superficiality. we really shouldn’t be angry that there are at least 5 posts of this bitch a day. this is what it’s all about and i will revel in her stupidity as long as i have to!
LXNDR | May 1, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Hey I love how you’re selling ad space to the Church of Scientology. Good stuff.
Sam_On_Ella | May 1, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Famous for being vacuous, insipid, and looking like that guy from mask in blonde wig…MTV watchers, for the love of God, raise your standards.
Matthew | May 1, 2008 at 4:59 pm
At least she has the sense to support McCain instead of the complete fraud Obama. That’s more than I can say for lots of people. How many? Oh, probably about 1 percent fewer than the number who’ll support McCain. I can’t wait to see the Democrats tearing up as they watch in disbelief as the third election in a row goes to the Republicans by the narrowest possible margin. And face it, if the Democrats can’t win now, they should disband. What a completely inept group of cowardly, whiny, argumentative know-it-alls. Enjoy your continued failure!
Sarah Panis | August 22, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Hey Moron, Are you Heidis Brain? You are just another repugnat right wing troll, so GFYS Douchebaggie. (Douchebag is reserved for intelligent folks)
Trover | May 1, 2008 at 5:01 pm
She actually has a hawt little body. Sadly, her head and face are attached to it. If we could somehow cut it off, and attach is to–say–Kiera Knightley, we’d have the hottest movie star ever.
Jimbo | May 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Heidi and Spencer would make the perfect Scientolgy couple. They could hange with Tom and Katie. And when Katie got out of line, Heidi would be there to straighten her out.
combustion8 | May 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm
are those pimples on her head? yuck
combustion8 | May 1, 2008 at 5:09 pm
is that tori spelling?
Lee | May 1, 2008 at 5:10 pm
that’s one of the ugliest outfits I’ve ever seen….really though, could she buy something that isn’t from Sirens or Stiches? Just sick.
LL | May 1, 2008 at 5:11 pm
If I got $15 million a year (or whatever Letterman’s getting paid) to talk to asswipes like this skank, I guess I could deal with that. She does need to close her gaping piehole. Having it constantly open like that makes her look like a retard.
But since Viacom doesn’t pay me shit, I can wish all I want that everyone who appears on MTV would be killed in a terrorist attack or an ebola epidemic, something really awful and painful.
Gunion | May 1, 2008 at 5:14 pm
At this point I bet Dave’s wishing that triple bypass was a failure.
Joe C | May 1, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Yuck! That bitch is ugly and annoying. I was happy to discover that my AdBlock extension for Firefox let me put in *montag* in the block filter and now it blocks any picture with that sack’s name in the URL.
OnlyGayEskimo | May 1, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Anyone notice she kinda looks like Tori Spelling in the face? All jaw and chin and buggy eyes……. ugh. THank god Im not a lesbian.
nick hogan is a killer | May 1, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Heidi is hideous in the face, but her body is doable. For that reason, I’d spill some semen on her huge jaw, but I wouldn’t brag about it to my friends. People who find her GORGEOUS must live in the south or something.
Ray | May 1, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Uhm, I’m still confused on how she is famous….
Alys | May 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm
She needs acne treatment! her face has lots of pimples!
PooPants | May 1, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Her puffy hair annoys me.
As well as her existence.
PooPants | May 1, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Her puffy hair is annoying.
As well as her existence.
a2m | May 1, 2008 at 5:42 pm
As usual her face ruins things. I agree with 19 about the semen thing. You might need a Peter North load to cover her jaw though.
jennifer | May 1, 2008 at 5:51 pm
So now she’s admitting that she’s knows about the tape when she said that all along she didn’t know anything about it…
I can’t believe I even know that stupid little fact!!!!!!!!
..and wearing lingerie in public is the new fashion statement I assume?
FRIST!!! | May 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm
She’s more irritating than a giant hemorrhoid..
pl | May 1, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Why is this girls mouth gaping open in every picture she takes..
L | May 1, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Ah, #9
That was brilliant. I’m glad to see someone who sees through the democratic party. To hell with them all. Especially Obama. This country doesn’t need a man who won’t put his hand on the Bible to be sworn in. A muslim president? I hope someone shoots the bastard muslim in his face.
You are both so pathetic | May 1, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Heidi stop pretending you didn’t open that huge yap and expose the existence of a tape to the Pratt.
malicious | May 1, 2008 at 6:27 pm
it all makes sense now, ze German fraulein, I can see her carting a couple of steins around
ldsqtbea | May 1, 2008 at 6:56 pm
she has a nice body … icky face … and most of the time pretty shoes … today, she had ugly shoes and she needs to learn how to stand properly … reference the 2nd picture :-D
supportstheconstitution | May 1, 2008 at 7:17 pm
#9 & #28 – my god you are both so blind and retarded. our country is doomed.
Jamie's Uterus | May 1, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I may have to start watching ‘The Hills’ so I can understand who these cunts are, since they are blogged about everywhere and people seem to care about these dumb ass twats.
amy | May 1, 2008 at 7:36 pm
She looks classy. I love her so much! I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
leelee | May 1, 2008 at 7:38 pm
So I think we could all agree that Heidi is not the worst dressed person in the world (hello, Ashley Olsen, Vikki Beckham, nice to have you here) But what is with those ugly as hell gold shoes?
Vince Lombardi | May 1, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Like… I dunno…. she seems like…. kinda…. I dunno….. like bitchy, y’know? I dunno. I mean, I…. like…. like the way she like….I dunno…. looks? Y’know? But like…. she’s like…. well, I dunno…. I guess some of her, like….. y’know, brains?…. like leaked down to her… like….. y’know… like chest? Y’know? Like?
Randal | May 1, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Loving the outfit there Heidi. You take very good care of your legs for they shine as if moisturized with Time & Again Mango Slice Hand Cream.
Your smile radiates and sparkles with the glitter of your eyes and that voice!
*bites down*
Your voice dances to my ears like the strumming of a harp played in a large chapel.
The very nerve of that other girl blaming you for such troubles. She should be ASHAMED!
Be strong, my shoulder’s here for you. xoxo
Randal
BliZzard | May 1, 2008 at 7:55 pm
How low… of Letterman.
Uhh | May 1, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Ew Heidi needs to fucking die, seriously. She’s just a stupid attention wanting whore with fake boobs and nose.
Jacs102 | May 1, 2008 at 8:31 pm
If Heidi was smart she would have used the time to talk about her clothing line, or anything else promoting herself, instead of talking about Lauren and the stupid show that Letterman was obviously making fun of.
Hellwiththeconstitution | May 1, 2008 at 8:55 pm
it’s just a goddamn piece of paper
Corlyss | May 1, 2008 at 9:21 pm
I still don’t get it. Why is she famous?
The Beer Baron | May 1, 2008 at 9:30 pm
She is such a mouth breather
elephant | May 1, 2008 at 9:41 pm
This broad is all class. Hence the gum in the mouth.
Letterman…what happened to you???
Ever since the move to CBS, you lost it.
You’re like SNL. You’ll make fun of people and then you’ll have them on your show and kiss ass. Don’t blame it on Viacom. You’ve got enough power to call your own shots.
Binky | May 1, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Well, been away for a while, but I must admit it – that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen for a long time. I’ll have to drop in more often again.
Public at LARGE : Umm…Say … Dave – 9/11 was an inside job – why not save some of your penetrating questions for Jesse Ventura, Willie Nelson, or Richard Gage AIA ?
Binky: Well LARGE, my sources are saying his show apparently ‘jumped the shark’, as they say in the industry, shortly after ‘Dick Assman’.
But you must admit – it’s gr8 to see Dave having to do the whole song and dance for his puppeteers !! Who pays the piper ? LOL !
The NWO :Say Dave – we’re calling this one incisive journalism tonight. Make sure it floats.
Dave : Could I please bring in ‘Sparky’ ? Or the Hula-Hoop girl ? (not that I’ve seen the show)
The NWO : No. And no smart-ass remarks from Biff, Paul, or Alan Caulder.
Pixie | May 1, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I hate it when women stand pigeon toed on purpose like that.
I Don't Break For Fat Chicks | May 1, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Who the fuck is Heidi Montag? Who the fuck cares?
jenn | May 1, 2008 at 10:53 pm
is it weird that I kind of love that dress?
kati | May 1, 2008 at 11:07 pm
nice doo-doo curls…..sick
squash | May 1, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Good god.
9 and 28. Jesus. I can’t even think of any kind of insult. I’m moving to god damn switzerland.