Heidi Montag Twittered the following piece of “HOLY FUCK NO!” today and, to her credit, somehow managed to overshadow the fact she can actually write:
I wanted to tell my twitter friends first…. I am pregnant!!!!!!!! I couldn’t be more excited!!! I hope its a boy!
Obviously, this was the only April Fool’s joke Melons Moron-o could come up with and, seriously, not funny. Not funny at all. I enjoy a good prank as much as the next guy, but I’m pretty sure people are sitting in their garages with the car running right now. Although, God willing, one of them is Spencer Pratt.
Thanks to Heather who regrets buying all that cyanide off eBay.
Photos: Getty
dk | April 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Someone needs to explain to her you can’t get pregnant if you’re the one wearing the strapon
Katie | April 1, 2009 at 9:17 pm
April fools, you idiots.
http://www.popduds.com | April 1, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Wow, she sure is funny and pretty and interesting.
mmm mmm mmmmm | April 1, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Whatever she sure has the face of an angel though. She never should have got those boobs she didn’t need them her body is great unless you gotta have big boobs.
amanda | April 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm
a) i thought they slept w/pillows between them to prevent such a thing
b) pregnancy should do interesting and terrible things to those implants…
http://www.popduds.com | April 1, 2009 at 9:28 pm
That dog she funny she think totem pole alive!
J | April 1, 2009 at 9:31 pm
OMG! Her mouth is open again!!!! no surprise. except for the flys coming from her mouth!!!
SOS | April 1, 2009 at 9:32 pm
And you did what she wanted– gave her the publicity!
Lain | April 1, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Holy fuck. I shat myself. Thank goodness it was an April Fool’s.
Lain | April 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Holy fuck. I shat myself. Thank goodness it was an April Fool’s.
yeah | April 1, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Yeah, Heidi Montag, I’d like to introduce Chris Brown. Chris, this is Heidi.
yeah | April 1, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Yeah, Heidi Montag, I’d like to introduce Chris Brown. Chris, this is Heidi.
BB | April 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Shes ugly as hell. And also I feel bad for the kid for many reasons not just the fact that if it’s a girl it’s gonna feel damn unwanted.
April the fool | April 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm
double. double, toil and trouble…
Truth Doctor | April 1, 2009 at 9:43 pm
You only hate her because you’re jealous.
frank the dolphin | April 1, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Mmmm…….Boobs.
Bree | April 1, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I hate her nooose its so obviously fake.
bald outing | April 1, 2009 at 9:54 pm
she’s so lame.
JJ Daddy-O | April 1, 2009 at 9:58 pm
How cute! Now she’s doucheing for two!
liz | April 1, 2009 at 10:25 pm
you make a lot of vile jokes, but that was probably one of the funniest captions i have read from you.
bodyhair25 | April 1, 2009 at 10:30 pm
so am i
PostmortemG | April 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm
“That dog she funny she think totem pole alive!”
Wow. I’m at a loss for words.
13's gay | April 1, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Don’t like blondes or women for that matter do you cumcatcher?
jacks | April 1, 2009 at 10:48 pm
That look on her face….looks like she just took a huge fucking dump on someones chest…
God how I hate that bitch…
at least | April 1, 2009 at 10:54 pm
she isn’t as ugly and ghetto as christina aguilera.
Savalas | April 1, 2009 at 10:56 pm
When the inevitable happens, I hope Snoop Dog is the father.
Obama is a socialist pig. Oh, and a nigger | April 1, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Well, we know who the dad is because there is only one jackass that would fuck her.
violet | April 1, 2009 at 11:28 pm
why did you even post this fucking shit, it only pisses people off. no one wants to have anything to do with her. she. does. not. matter.
jesus.
and yeah, she really should just swallow her tongue and die a terrible death. but that goes without saying.
Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD rescinded | April 1, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if she did die right now.
soahc | April 1, 2009 at 11:39 pm
I would fuck the living shit out of this bitch. Wait. I’m not into anal. Correction:
I would fuck the living Preparation H out of this bitch’s vaginal canal.
Arroyo | April 1, 2009 at 11:48 pm
@27 – I can’t argue with that.
but I do think “dad” is Steely Dan
gerard Vandenberg | April 2, 2009 at 12:23 am
I’m curious: AMERICANS REALLY LOVE IT TO BE FOOLED?
(it must be, folks)
imdb.com/name/nm0006718/ | April 2, 2009 at 12:30 am
But will she have 8? Only her fertility doctor knows for sure
Amber | April 2, 2009 at 12:49 am
i hate that bitch
CLICK ON MY NAME
brian t | April 2, 2009 at 1:33 am
Cartman | April 2, 2009 at 1:50 am
This girl is beautiful. But she is more annoying than beautiful and that’s pretty fuckin annoying!
Hollywood always rewards annoying attention whores like her. At least she’s worth looking at.
Michael | April 2, 2009 at 1:58 am
One Word: Eugenics
Cash | April 2, 2009 at 2:01 am
As if. Everyone knows a post-op tranny can’t actually knock-up a real woman.
Phil | April 2, 2009 at 2:07 am
I’m pretty sure she and Tori Spelling go to the same surgeon.
Rhialto | April 2, 2009 at 2:08 am
Hola
Carol | April 2, 2009 at 2:30 am
ok maybe I can take the fake tits, but the mentality of a chick that thinks she’s not worthy enuf to carry the short hair she naturally possesses so “sews” or how ever she keeps that creepy dead, fake hair shit to stay makes me question her crediblitlity and Ms. Thing has put herself on the judges chambers and I say she’s a total dork that happened to hit the jack pot by being in the right place at the right time with the right douche and she’s a total dork!
Carol | April 2, 2009 at 2:30 am
ok maybe I can take the fake tits, but the mentality of a chick that thinks she’s not worthy enuf to carry the short hair she naturally possesses so “sews” or how ever she keeps that creepy dead, fake hair shit to stay makes me question her crediblitlity and Ms. Thing has put herself on the judges chambers and I say she’s a total dork that happened to hit the jack pot by being in the right place at the right time with the right douche and she’s a total dork!
Alison | April 2, 2009 at 2:52 am
Please visit my blog. I’m trying to save baby whales and Neapolitan Mastiffs.
http://angermongers.blogspot.com
Alison | April 2, 2009 at 2:53 am
Please visit my blog. I’m trying to save baby whales and Neapolitan Mastiffs.
http://angermongers.blogspot.com by clicking my name!
. | April 2, 2009 at 2:58 am
If you post anything about this idiot again, I will hunt you down and beat you about the head with your own well-used copy of the Victoria’s secret catalogue. And god help you if you post anything about her “boy”friend.
Still luv ur site xoxo
fulllovegirl | April 2, 2009 at 3:48 am
From now on, we LGBT have our own zone—seekbi.com. This is the first and largest platform for us. Do not forget to join it. WOW WOW WOW, it’s free!!Come on!!
fulllovegirl | April 2, 2009 at 3:48 am
From now on, we LGBT have our own zone—seekbi.com. This is the first and largest platform for us. Do not forget to join it. WOW WOW WOW, it’s free!!Come on!!
Narcissist | April 2, 2009 at 5:20 am
Christian. Right.
She should get naked before she wrecks everything with a baby.
Charley Kane | April 2, 2009 at 6:45 am
Anyone stoopid enough to care deserves to be disappointed. She ain’t your sister, she ain’t your friend, so what do you care if she’s knocked up or not.
Gar | April 2, 2009 at 7:42 am
is she allowed to reproduce ??????