Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: The Video Game

February 21st, 2008 // 64 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt apparently have a video game in the works. You get to play as Hollywood’s most retarded couple! OMG! Spencer promises it’ll be addicting and out in time for Christmas 2009. Us Magazine has the details:

“You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.”
He said “there’s going to be two versions: the adult version and the one for minors,” adding, “just be ready, that’s all I have to say.”

If this game lets me live out my fantasy of driving a tank into Spencer’s face while I box Heidi’s fake breasts, put me down for ten copies. I’ll be giving these bad boys out to my loved ones. Merry Christmas, Grandma! Let’s bake cookies then play baseball with Spencer’s head. Just ignore what my character is doing with Heidi. Mmm, that’s good holiday cheer.


  1. Where can I buy a copy?

  2. Bolt-on

    If she could be more fake, I don’t know how.

  3. That cannot be true.

  4. Where can I burn my copy?

  5. [sarcasm] I can wait to get that for my PS3 [end sarcasm]

  6. Even after all this time, I’m still amazed at how no-talent hacks become celebrities….

    If having a big rack and lacking any singing or acting talent is required to be a star, then that stripper who danced for me last night should win a damn Oscar!

  7. FRIST, did you get your two olive martini last night?

  8. The Laughing God

    DAMN IT!!! You can ruin TV but not the video game industry!! It is my last bastion!! NOOOOO!!!! Soon some jerkward is going to make a “Hills” or “Keeping Up with the Kardashian” MMORPG. WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!!

    Seriously, I’d rather play WoW than watch TV, that is why I was oblivious to the writer’s strike… btw, is that still going on? :D

  9. lynsmis

    She is so sweet!! Have u guys heard that she ever appeared on a millionaire&celebs dating site ‘Meet Rich. com’ when she was single? I heard of this around some famous gossip sites.

  10. Anal Fistula

    Headline: Vapid Cunt and Emasculated Male further embarrass themselves.

  11. Chip Douglas

    I bet their video game characters will be more real than them.

  12. Chupacabra

    Man, I hope it’s a murderous damn game.
    I also hoped that boat would sink with them on it, but not all dreams come true.

  13. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    zOMG! I hope Heidi does the soundtrack for it.

  14. They make excellent gag gifts… like “The Stars Are Blind” CD single!

  15. Iago

    Do you think they even like each other? I mean, I’m confused as to how anyone can actually LIKE them, but they’re relationship isn’t romantic, it’s business. Even if they hate each other’s guts they have to stay together until Christmas 2009 or else their game will tank (everyone ELSE knows the game will tank, but THEY don’t know it yet. They’re like Mike Huckabee but without the gospel).

  16. Yeah Jimbo, do you want to know the difference between one martini and ten martinis?
    One martini=happiness

    Ten martinis=self loathing

    Math sucks..

  17. Thatone

    That’s almost two years from now… will anyone even care enough to still hate them then?

  18. FL Cracker

    Xmas 2009?? I believe their 15 minutes will be long over by then.

  19. combustion8

    problem (for them anyway) is, most gamers have never even heard of these two.

  20. HoHwPoV

    I would rather whip out my Intellivision and play Space Armada than ANYTHING relating to them … they are creepy … do they not even know how to pose for photos without looking like they are posing … they are milking something for this fame and I wish it would freaking dry up already!!

  21. OW

    For a pretty calm person, that fake ass fucking open gapped mouth of hers makes me want to shove that shoe down her throat and kick puppies. It isn’t healthy.

  22. jrz

    Biggest. Tools. Ever.

  23. Fart Skin


  24. Baibe

    Come on… R u serious?!?! What next?!

  25. nipolian

    By the end of 2009 she will be so into hardcore porn and he will be dead from a mall ass-kicking that the game actually shows some promise.

  26. They make me want to move to Canada….


  27. Ms J

    Can these two be any more fucking retarded? Give me a break!!

  28. dandan

    i want to shave her head.

  29. Wendy

    Does that bimbo EVER close her mouth??!! Thank you very much but nobody wants to see your uvula!

  30. Ted from LA

    I’ve never hit a woman in my life, but this fake asshole is really testing my policy. Look at that photo. She should be an insert for shitty photo frames.

  31. Minkus

    “You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.”

    How? By showing him a video of Heidi talking, and talking, and talking, interspersed with flashes of Zac Efrons naked?

  32. D. Richards (Sack.)

    I’d play the ‘adult’ version if you could abduct Heidi, torture her — physically, as well as mentally — stone her to death, then bury her in a shallow grave near a playground.

    Pratt: I’d just send him straight to hell.

  33. Kate

    Are we ignoring the douchebag who keeps spamming that stupid dating site? Or can I call this person a douchebag?

  34. Auntie Kryst

    This game will be the “Hottie & the Nottie” of video games.

  35. Sherry mac

    THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!!! it never stops….these two really are morons…seriously who would want their game….do they not relize that ppl hate them….oh well thats the fun of laughing at them…

  36. Sherry mac

    THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!!! it never stops….these two really are morons…seriously who would want their game….do they not relize that ppl hate them….oh well thats the fun of laughing at them…

  37. socks

    What’s next, they’ll actually come to your house so you can torture them in person? Is there nothing they won’t do for money or attention? Very sickening….

  38. Quinn

    She’s the palest dumbest blondest bimbo i’ve seen on TV in a while.
    Her daddy must be proud.

  39. Gerald_Tarrant

    I will play this game only if it involves Spenser & Heidi naked and my character with a rusty chainsaw. Bend over you shit stains, old trusty karma is about to get you.

  40. Tinfoil Raccoon

    Narcissists never realize when people hate them. The mere fact that they’re narcissists means they believe the world loves them just as much as they love themselves. They can’t comprehend that people even *could* have negative feelings towards them. Even negative attention spurs them on. Because they’re incapable of understanding that other people may not like them, they don’t perceive the “negative” part. They only grasp “PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME! YAAAYYY! I’M FAMOUS AND RICH AND EVERYBODY LIKES ME! EVERYBODY IS LOOKING AT ME!! THEY LIKE TO TAKE MY PICTURE BECAUSE I’M SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I’M SO COOL! EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE ME!!! THEY LOVE ME!!! *I* LOVE ME!!!! I RULE!!!!!!” They’re in their own little bubble of self-loving oblivion.

    The only way to stop the madness is for gossip blogs to stop running their pics. You can keep running pics of them making fun of them but narcissists only see the “attention” part of it. Not the negative part. “Any attention is better than no attention!”

    Pop that bubble, baby.

  41. voracious

    Ugh, she looks freaken retarded.

  42. birdene

    Wow @40 you get your official “tag the celebrity character diagnosis” sash and bouquet! woo hoo. Your next quiz is Courtney Love…annd diagnose! No easy bi polar axis 2 either.

  43. LL

    Why is her piehole always gaping open like that? Are her jaws locked in that position? You know, from all the blowjobs she must be giving various producers. Subtle, aren’t I?

    But seriously, could someone break her jaw so doctors have to wire it shut?

    These two retards would make more money if they would raffle off the chance to drop them both from a very tall building. Since likely neither one of them knows anything about gravity, I think they’d go for it.

    Damn, I should be a producer. Simon, call me.

  44. sharpeidude

    Spencer: “If you think those shoes are the shizzle, babe. Wait till you see what I
    have planned for after this staged Valentines Day at sea! We’re
    gonna play a rousing game of “Steamboat Captain”. You’re gonna
    love it my little pookie bear! I first played it in the back room of the
    Brass Rail lounge and you get the best part! You’re gonna get to be
    my semen!”

    Heidi: “Oh Spence, you’re such a romantic! Is it any wonder that people want
    to be just like us?”

  45. Racer X


  46. Mike Tyson

    Theriouthly, I wanna boxth her fake boobths mythelf. I’ll make thure to avoid her thenthitive nipplths.

  47. Bob

    Why does she always have an invisable cock in her mouth?

  48. old yeller


  49. whackjob

    Initially I thought it was a cute little chin dimple. A closer look reveals a permanent indentation; you know, the kind from a man’s thumb holding her bottom jaw down (insert classic porn image here).

  50. whackjob

    Hey 48! Didn’t you get shot in the end???

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