Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spent Valentine’s Day eating on a sailboat. A docked sailboat – where they posed for the most ridiculously non-candid photos ever. Seriously, could these shots be any less natural? Why don’t Heidi and Spencer do something like normal people? Go to a movie. Eat a candlelight dinner. Or have really awkward pity sex with your date because she watched you cry when the naval base wouldn’t rent you a submarine with live torpedoes. All I wanted to do was fire at civilian targets code-named “Funbags” and “Douchehole.” But I digress. What I’m really getting at is; I had sex last night. In your face!
Photos: Pacific Coast News
havanicejay | February 15, 2008 at 2:41 pm
schwing #1
havanicejay | February 15, 2008 at 2:41 pm
schwing #1
sharpeidude | February 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Uh…..okay.
Donkey Ass | February 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Talk about publicity whore…
attention starved whores | February 15, 2008 at 2:45 pm
if he’s hitching his wagon of success to this horse, i have to warn him it’s not going far. the only future this girl has is in porn and clearly she’s too dumb to realize it.
Alex | February 15, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I’d toss one in.
miz coaster | February 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I mean really, how dumb do these people or their people think we are? Those photos look so fake! Besides, who the hell gives their girlfriend SHOES???? Girlfriend can buy her own. I would’ve expected a little more out of spencer, like a Zales diamond or something.
total idiots. can we please move on from them?
canuck | February 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Oh. WOW. The boat was docked??
Her facial expression is perfect in the photos where she got the shoes she likely ordered herself.
When did people become such freaks? And when did we start caring?
AND WHY AM I COMMENTING ON THESE IDIOTS?
*ugh*
Really?? | February 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
This is the girl who said:
“I cried myself to sleep that first night after my video came out,” she says. “I just couldn’t understand why people I didn’t even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me.”
Really?? Maybe it’s because you pull shit-bag stunts like this. We don’t have to know you to know that you’re a vapid c*nt.
Rod Carew | February 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
These pictures are pathetic and setup, and yet faggy celebrity gossip sites like this buy them each and EVERY time.
Way to stick it to the man, Superfish.
allan | February 15, 2008 at 2:54 pm
nice stripper shoes
Jordan's Mother | February 15, 2008 at 2:55 pm
What kind of dumb fuck buys his girlfriend shoes? The pictures are a complete joke, and I really want to believe these two are in on the joke. They just have to be right? It’s just not possible for any person(s) to be this big of a stupid douchebag, This is all just way beyond ridiculous.
Harmon Killebrew | February 15, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Rod, you were only a singles hitter, don’t go mouthing off.
*gong* | February 15, 2008 at 2:56 pm
The sheer overwhelming amount of douche here is suffocating me.
Ted from LA | February 15, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I got a cavity looking at these pictures.
C@rpediem | February 15, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Why why why why why!? She’s clearly an idiot. She’s a brain dead, talentless twat but somehow she manages to peddle that amateur home video and that cat strangling noise she calls a voice and actually make money off of it! Shit, I need a fucking reality show so I’ll never have to work again.
Besides, what’s the fun of stalking someone to take their picture when they enjoy it? Seriously guys, she totally needs the papparazzi.
By the way, I DIDN’T have sex last night (unless you count hands as people)
meagain | February 15, 2008 at 2:59 pm
She’s always got the blow job mouth going.
gits | February 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm
And yet…it’d be completely cool if during all the fake-candid pictures, he was muttering “yeah, take that shoe and shove it up your ass, you plastic bitch” and she was whispering “nice hair, but won’t your boyfriend be mad that you used up all the Astroglyde?”
Ryan | February 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm
This looks like a half-assed Abercrombie ad. She’s a dumb cunt, but at least shes got a decent (but fake) rack to look at. These two (but mostly him) are as worthless as a used condom. Wait, I take that back, a used condom actually served a purpose at one point.
Its true, she’s looking at a bright 15 minutes in porn.
The Office Whore | February 15, 2008 at 3:01 pm
It’s like watching a Full House Marathon.
Jimbo | February 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Where’s that Northern Illinois University guy when you really need him…
sharpeidude | February 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Heidi: “Wow Spence! You totally read my mind and bought me those shoes I
was telling you about last month. You’re soooooo sweet!”
Spencer: “Shoes? Those aren’t fucking shoes babe. It’s my dick in a box!”
Public Relations Professionals | February 15, 2008 at 3:03 pm
stop it. they are such a great couple. i never do this, but it is time someone stands up for them. HATERS!
Tony Oliva | February 15, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Eh numeros terteen and diez, choo both can suck my deeck!
Marc | February 15, 2008 at 3:03 pm
How much dumber can “celebrities” get?
I so hate all this self-important wannabe’s. I also hate these celebrities all getting knocked up. It’s a real trend now amongst them to over-populate the planet with dumb people.
Rod Stiffington | February 15, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I’d lay it between those mountainous, gelatinous, fake titties and pump away – i don’t care who she is.
juliebeanpie | February 15, 2008 at 3:08 pm
#17, I totally agree, I guess I’m too old to know who this chick is, but every time I see her picture, her mouth is wide open like that. Maybe she can’t get enough oxygen to her brain, or something.
apwbdsgirl | February 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I think my favorite part is that there are the two different locations of her with “surprised wonder” face while opening up the shoes.
First – her standing up looking over his shoulder.
Second – him standing up watching over her shoulder.
The only plausible explanation other than they’re totally staged (which they are) is that she has the comprehension skills of a two year old playing peek-a-boo. Just because he took them away and brought them back doesn’t mean they were ever gone, Heidi!
Actually, they’re probably both staged and she’s that dumb.
Josef | February 15, 2008 at 3:13 pm
What kind of pants is he wearing?
Pimp Mamma M | February 15, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I am soooo sick of this chic and this girly-boy. I would have enjoyed photos of him whacking her over the head with that shoe, then she could have bent him over and gave him the big Jimmy Choo! Or maybe, he could have hit her in a fake breast with the shoe and we could watch the boob start deflating…….awww, she would start crying again, and I think we need to start seeing pix of her in tears. Yeah, my PMS is bad today…..
Auntie Kryst | February 15, 2008 at 3:14 pm
How’s the douchebag going to eat that salad with a champagne flute in one hand and the salad plate and champagne bottle in another?
miggs | February 15, 2008 at 3:16 pm
He seems more like the type that tosses salad.
Estoye | February 15, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Alive…With Pleasure!
my comment | February 15, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Guess old Horse Face and her gay boyfriend Eddie Munster will have to try a little harder next time and at least wrap the fake gift.
Stan | February 15, 2008 at 3:18 pm
#21 – where’s the CIA when you need dual-waterboarding?
Tinfoil Raccoon | February 15, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I’ve never seen two people have *that* much fun opening a shoe box.
dingdong | February 15, 2008 at 3:18 pm
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
RockTock | February 15, 2008 at 3:19 pm
This is why their “show” isn’t really reality TV, you get crap like this. Oh and white people is crazy.
@33 | February 15, 2008 at 3:20 pm
That was funny, best comment yet.
Tinfoil Raccoon | February 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Actually, I should clarify my previous comment – the only time I’ve ever seen two people *that* happy to open a shoe box was the skit “Dick in a Box.”
Unless there’s a dick in that box, then there’s just no need to be that happy.
dana | February 15, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Look, Grover gave Janice some hooker shoes…
your comment | February 15, 2008 at 3:23 pm
#34 is right – and why does she look surprised when the name is on the lid of the unwrapped box he was carrying? Also the price tag and bar code. Jesus, a little effort, please. MTV must assume their core audience is a bunch of retards.
hmmm…it suddenly all makes sense…
Mike | February 15, 2008 at 3:24 pm
These pictures look just like the first few pictures of a pornographic photo shoot.
Sound | February 15, 2008 at 3:29 pm
“I got you overpriced shoes for your giant hooves, you horsefaced cunt!”
“What a great Valentine’s Day gift! It’s exactly what a flaming bottom-gay would imagine a girl might want!”
The Office Whore | February 15, 2008 at 3:30 pm
44. aaaaaaaahahahahaha! niiiice.
ELIZABETH IN SOUTHERN CA | February 15, 2008 at 3:30 pm
HEY HEIDI IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS:
YOU ARE THE MOST ATTENTION SEEKING, UNNATURAL, BORING, FAKE ASS GIRL I HAVE EVER SEEN! YOU MUST REALLY HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM SINCE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO GET ATTENTION WITH YOUR FAKE ASS MUSIC VIDEO AND PHOTOS. DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DISAPPEAR!!!!!!!! YOU ARE PATHETIC!!!!!! WE’RE ALL SICK OF PEOPLE TRYING TO GET FAMOUS FOR NOTHING!
gotmilk? | February 15, 2008 at 3:33 pm
why is she carrying those flowers around all over the place? what a fucking joke these two are.
the picture of him kissing her neck makes me sick. i think i’ve lost any desire to have sex after seeing that – at least for a few days.
D. Richards | February 15, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I’d like to pay a hazmat clad, uber-gloved man to shove those roses right up Heidi’s fucking ass. Eat thorn, cunt.
As for Pratt: at gunpoint, I’d have him strip out of his neatly-dirtied pants and lie on his back, blindfolded; whilst gouging out his fucking crouch with a shattered champagne bottle.
Tinfoil Raccoon | February 15, 2008 at 3:36 pm
People, people, people.
No need to be so harsh on the girl. Didn’t you read one of the earlier Fish posts quoting Spence calling Heidi an “artist”?
She’s an artist! She likes to create art! ART, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!
mixedmartialartvideos.com | February 15, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Heidi is her own PR agent