Heidi Montag and Spencer on the rocks? GASP!

March 6th, 2008 // 75 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s relationship is on the line in the new season of MTV’s The Hills. Supposedly there’s another woman involved, and Us Magazine is running with the story – as if it’s real. C’mon! Everyone knows Heidi and Spencer are the fakest fake fakers on the fucking fake coast of Fake-islavia. Here’s the fake scoop:

“Spencer and I have really had our ups and downs this past year,” Montag tells Us. “I’ve definitely been betrayed by friends before, but I’ve never had a boyfriend do this to me.”
She adds, “Spencer and I may differ on what it means to cheat.”

So obviously the producers are trying to create some drama by injecting one of the normal pitfalls of a relationship: doing other people. But you know what else happens in relationships sometimes? Murder/suicide. Get me the CEO and president of MTV on the line: “Hello? Satan? It’s The Superficial Writer. Yeah, I got the severed goats head. Thanks. Cleared that rash right up. Listen, that’s not why I called; I have a plot idea for The Hills you’re gonna love….”

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Me

    Nobody cares, Edith.

  2. arthurmich

    Second? who cares?

  3. granada

    Don’t they mean Spencer got involved with another man?

  4. Liberty

    Heidi can go suck it with her banged up face and bad veneers but you, Superficial Writer genius and hunk of my dreams, are awesome.

  5. I would be much happier reading the headline, “Heidi Montag and Spencer crushed by rocks!”…

  6. R

    Eat a sandwich, Heidi.

  7. Jumpin_J

    Murder / suicide. I’m pulling for it. We need two more parking spaces in LA.

  8. JimmyBachaFungool

    Nobody cares about these posing losers. The more Superficial or anyone puts out stories about them, the more free press they get. It starts with no one reporting on them. Please let this long national nightmare end. No more stories, no more updates, no more pictures.

    Everyone print this story and wipe your asses after your next shit with it.

  9. Who gives a shit about anything this plastic bitch has to say??

  10. omaxem

    The sad thing is that even if they did have a murder suicide that would probably also be fake.

  11. Randal

    This will be a hard life lesson for Heidi to come to terms with and I feel that it will be displayed as such on the show. When it comes to these real life situations, I’m sure Heidi will come to learn and grow from the experience. Of course, she’s not the one who will do the cheating in the episode, so her good image will not be tainted. Spencer on the other hand will have some explaining to do. Catch the new season on MTV, coming soon!

    Her outfit is very cute, suits her quite well.

  12. PimpMammaM

    I guess she considers the use of gerbils to be cheating?

  13. NY Ted

    Is that the only dress and pair of shoes she owns…??? Check the photos from a couple of weeks ago you had posted Fish…exact same combo…!!!

    Maybe she can borrow some “whore-trash trailer-park” garb from Brit…???

  14. JerZGrl

    Awww poor Heidi……..time to accept the fact that your shit does stink!

  15. The shocking development here is that some other girl is willing to do anything with spencer.

    Maybe what Heidi considers “cheating” is when women look at his ratface and throw-up.

  16. Grunion

    I’m surprised since US magazine is known for it’s journalistic integrity.

  17. Guy

    Hes looking gayer then ever.

  18. Well, I think months is enough for both of you.

  19. HEIDISMELLSLIKESHIT

    WOW, she got over her stepbrother’s death PRETTY FAST!! what was it Wednesday he was buried??? This is her the following day, WHAT A FUCKIN QUACK…

  20. Auntie Kryst

    @11 you did not disappoint. I read this post and thought, “hmm I’m sure Randal will have an opinion on this.”

  21. Texas Tranny

    Anybody notice that Adam and Eve is having a sale on 1000′s of sex toys?

  22. Anonymous

    Randal,

    Kindly go fuck yourself, you useless little gay boy.

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  24. Wait wait WAIT!!!! Hold up here…this is fake news!! And nobody cares!!!

    Where is the headline that reads “JIMBO and FRIST!!! Birthdays in Same Month What a Coincidence and Where is FRIST!!!S Drink, Veggi Whore??”

    Now THAT’s news!!!!!!

  25. YEAH WTF!! That is news and I am waiting for my drinks!!!!!

  26. jb

    That “woman” looks like a human Barbie! What a freak!

  27. Ted Mosby

    I’m always surprised when ugly men cheat.

  28. Pilatunes

    I was hoping you meant a clifftop plunge in a convertible, resulting from these two sickening human beings taking ‘candid’ pictures of their oh-so-fake smiles. Maybe some day….

  29. I’m always surprised when someone didn’t buy me a drink 5 days before my Birthday (hint hint)..

  30. pee pants

    That’s some funny ass commentary Superfish.
    Yay! I looove laughing at these douchetards. Fucking idiots.

    “One of the normal pitfalls of a relationship: doing other people”

    The funniest thing about that statement is how people repond to it and what it says about them.

    As an example all of Hollywood would completely agree with that statement and we all know what it says about all those loser celbrities. (Hint : They’re all a buncha fuckin’ dirty HUARS!)

  31. Whore of Beer and whatnot

    I’m here! I’m here!!
    I had to go drink lunch.. I poured a little out for you birthday ho’s!!

    wait, I’m lying. That would be wrong!!

    But I did cheers the air for ya!!

  32. momo

    these are 2 of the least interesting people i know.
    Well other then me and the wife…
    who gives a shit ?

  33. toolboy

    #11
    I swear I read what you wrote, but in my head it came out “kick that bitch in the taint” .

  34. celebritard tours

    Oh gawd how do these two loosers stand each other. It’s like a super douchiness fucking overload. I bet they call each other shmoopie and shit.
    You know, I can never figure out which one is worse. As soon as you’ve convinced yourself that one of them is worse you get a glimpse of the other one and then your all undecided again.

    I mean what do these people do when the camera’s are off? They probalby start melting or sumthin. “Must get attention… must get attention… cannot live without attention… attention whore reserves dangerously low.. get on internet and find Spiedi info… oh thank god, they’re maiking fun of us on Superfish, any attention is good attention, thank the lord we will survive another day”

    The scariest thing is imagining them sexing each other and the massive fake orgasms they both pretend to have. Heidi is really a mirrorsexual so she’s just lying to herself being with Spencer. To be a fly on the wall of their bedroom. “oh Spencer your the best lover in the world” “oh Hiedi your the best singer and most naturally beautiful woman on earth” (man I just threw up on my keyboard) Hilarious or terrifying and revolting? prolly all three.

  35. Ript1&0

    Ok, fine Fish. Sigh. I have resisted acknowledging the existence of these people for however the fuck long this show has been on. But I will now conceed:

    There are people called Heidi and Spencer who do exist.

    Now, I’ve never heard them speak before. But just from the looks of them (a squeeky clean Beavis and sickly thin bleached and coiffed attempt at being attractive), I agree.

    The murder/suicide pack plot has just been approved.

    But the real question is, why do people find them interesting? I don’t get it.

  36. Awww, thanks Veggi Ho!!

  37. dearel

    she is lovely.I’m curious.She wrote blog on a celeb dating site recently named “Searching Millionaire dot com”. It attacted many fans. Is she feeling lonely?

  38. Ruby

    She looks really thin lately. Maybe she’s near death!!! One can only hope they both crash in a plane.

  39. Sophie

    P
    U
    K
    E

    Fuck these two!

    Who realllllly gives a shit about these two? Seriously? Tweens?

  40. dude_on_a_wire

    I really see no purpose in expanding the conversation about Heidi Ho – the only intrigue surrounding this Mensa candidate is simply what is her threshold for extreme verbal expression and where does she like the mess?

  41. Dorito Man

    I’d do her. She’s cute.

  42. The Laughing God

    I am working on a theory, the quicker we stop paying attention to sooner she’ll flash us her privates, like other celebs. I believe I can link the behavior to the mating behavior of birds. I hope to have the paper published this fall.

  43. error on page

    I want to pose for a living. It can’t be as hard as it looks.

  44. weirdo

    What would that little faggot Spencer do if he saw me with my tongue up tasty Heidi’s ass. Exactly………..nothing!

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  46. Spazz

    What is worse – these 2 gayer than fuck posers or the trolls who think we are going to type celebbillionairewhores.edu or whatever they are peddling.

    You trolls need to get a fucking clue and upgrade your life to become the jerkoff on the street corner with the cardboard NOW LEASING signs twirling all around.

  47. William Antrim

    Those of you commenting on Heidi and Spencer need to accept a few things.

    One, Heidi is much better looking post-surgery.

    Two, Spencer won’t come out of the closet until he experiences a real relationship with someone like Lance from Nsync.

    Third, they’ll both end up like the guy from SeaQuest.

    Billy

    P.S. What’s wrong with plastic?

  48. It’s not that ugly men cheat that’s fascinating…it’s that more than one person actually wants to screw them.

  49. jstunnah

    wow the lengths these two idiots go to for publicity…

  50. Matt

    Not surprising, Spencer is an F’n DOUCHEBAG.

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