Heidi Montag and her giant new breasts do yoga

January 25th, 2010 // 217 Comments

Despite the fact that yoga is the Devil’s aerobics, Heidi Montag spent the weekend testing the limberness of her new body that she can’t afford because exactly five people bought her album. Which is why I’m pretty sure this is a porn audition. But if it’s not, wow, what a fucking idiot. This is like hitting a home run into space in front of the president of baseball only to turn down a major league contract to pursue whatever the hell it is Heidi does. Human guinea pig for vapid people? I don’t even care.


Photos/Video: Pacific Coast News
superficial

  1. Sarah

    I am sorry she looks drop dead gorgeous. Most attractive woman ever. I would die to look like her, I don’t care if she’s all plastic, she looks damned good. Hot body, flawless face and skin. She was looking bit freakish in earlier photos but her swelling is going down. She is such physical perfection. Personality and IQ wise is another story though.

  2. Alissa

    Lol, are your initials n.s? Sounds like your exact wording.

  3. nini

    Hey, I’m an open minded girl from UK, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, dating and sports…I have my photos on — SeekTall.com —, I love tall guys!
    Do you love traveling and have some experience? Just find me out.

  4. Felipe Edoardo

    I don’t like her or anything, but at least in those pictures there’s no doubt she looks amazing.

  5. terri

    she actually doesnt looks that bad.

  6. G&T

    Pic 8 is perfect… for her new career in porn! (pretty please!)

  7. marta

    From pictures she doesn’t look ugly but just the idea of all that plastic stuffed in her I ‘m gonna throw up .What is she 25?she fucked up herself big big time but I have to say it’s just the end of the circle…she has no brain,she talks like a robot and the look in her eyes is completely gone:she totally fits her new box.Is this people taking pills or it’s all in the package?The look in her eyes is empty.

  8. j to the 3rd power

    @100 is totally right, there is no way she could have gone from freakish to human looking in a few days, I agree the photos are edited. And the bony pony tank top is a give away to that.

  9. adt

    Bitch looks like a forty year-old woman trying to relive her younger years by getting shit tons of plastic surgery.

  10. Rough's goodwill tour

    Here’s the moral dilemma, is it a bad message to young girls if she looks hot…Im still pondering.

  11. Christy

    This is not yoga…

  12. Andy

    she lacks basic sex appeal and looks, plastic doesn’t make you sexy

  13. Poo

    Camera whore! Camera whore!

  14. Brian0523

    I just wanna know….if she crosses her legs, does her mouth snap open?

    Stupidplasticbimbo

  15. Brian0523

    I just wanna know….if she crosses her legs, does her mouth snap open?

    Stupidplasticbimbo

  16. chupacabra

    NAMASTE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

    (pulls out machine gun)

    …but for real, fake yoga, and wearing 11 prayer bracelets?

    I don’t think I’ve ever been so “fake” insulted as a practicing Buddhist in my life. This is beyond ridiculous. It’s humourous.

  17. Kim

    So hot. Love the pics where you can see across her flat belly in between her thighs. That’s a golden palace in there.

  18. Nero

    I’d suspect her from having her cooter replaced by a fleshlight as well.

  19. Tom

    Yeah you can totally see her gash under her sweatpants when she’s doing the crab. Dutty slut, i’d pound her

  20. O Crap it is anna nicole smith.!!!

  21. her tits look… .pukes.

  22. Bay

    My guess is that she made her friend wear that poncho and hat, so that she could be the sexy one. And seriously, that’s the kind of “yoga” you’ll likely only find at a community center for the aging.

  23. I guess now she can bend like Gumby since she’s all plastic.

  24. Just took a huge dump

    I just took a huge dump…on her chin.

  25. Rasputins Liver

    *

    What a sad, vacuous dumbass twat she is.

    And she combined with her equally sad, vacuous twat of a husband are just too fucking stupid.

    These two and those idiots, like that dumb twat “Snooki”, on that Jersey “reality” show are, sadly for this nation, the perfect representations of their age group.

    There’s a reason America is likened to ancient Rome.

    *

  26. You're a bunch of douchbags

    She looks so damn hot… you gotta admit it. You fuckers just don’t like her because she’s a republican…

  27. Jade

    And I would like to thank God for grass I am doing Yoga on and the butterflies circling around me….wait…did you get a shot of my crotch in the air? Yea? ok now where was I …oh and I would like to thank god for bla bla bla. What a joke.

  28. BeeTee

    I’d Robomotorboat the sheet out of that mmmmm..bzzzzzzzt…beeep…boooop

  29. NG

    Will this move finally turn Prancer Pratt non-extra-gay? Stay tunes

  30. NG

    tuned…

  31. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Hmm…

    ******

    126. You’re a bunch of douchbags – January 26, 2010 10:55 AM

    She looks so damn hot… you gotta admit it. You fuckers just don’t like her because she’s a republican…

    ******

    Fakeness is “so damned hot”?

    No wonder you’re a Party of Limbaugher.

    *

  32. Even w/the sawzall to the chin…still a horseface, remember…

    http://sickitten.com/2010/01/16/a-horseface-isforever.aspx

  33. Sarah, #101, I’d hate to see what you look like…

  34. +1 This is not yoga…

  35. Goodrich Blimps

    You’ll no longer see her travel be plane any more. Silicone explodes in pressurized areas. Like others have said, dye her hair black and she’s WHORE Kim Kardashian’s twin.

    Whether I’d still do her, does the Sun rise in the east? Lot less chance catching an STD from her than Kardashian, Slutty Ho Paris, etc…

  36. yoyoma

    i’d drill her ass for oil.

  37. SborraInBocca

    The plastic seems to be settling better. Fap fap fap just cuz she seems desperate for someone to want to rub one out to her.

  38. spicy

    if there’s anything i learned from this blog, it’s that all men are scumbags. i think this statement can be considered a metaphysical fact.

  39. Insecure Brainless Little Twat

    Gee, maybe if I take out a loan for thousands of dollars I could get my chin and nose sandpapered off and have some air bags attached to my chest so that some random date-raping, misogynistic assholes can talk about how they’d like to ejaculate on my immobile face on celebrity blogs just like Heidi!

  40. PeopleAreStrange

    LOL

  41. meee

    what’s with the lumpiness in her boobs?

  42. beathrice

    Wasnt barbie tall??

    This chick is plastic and short…maybe one of those knock off barbies…but not the real thing.

  43. ing

    Let’s all make fun of her ears and take bets on how long it takes her to get them fixed.

  44. Melrose

    Haaaa haaaaa! Randal, you crack me up every time!

  45. anna

    hahaha…her boobs look lop-sided. So much for paying a jillion dollars for ‘perfect’ breasts.

  46. ing

    …and she’s got a uniboob goin on in the first pic, but when they’re smooshed on the ground, they’re too far apart.

    ssup wit’ dat?

  47. Hefe

    The surgeries do seem to be ‘settling in’ now.

    She looks a lot better now that it’s been a few days.

  48. lmao

    hahahahahaha i love some of these comments! Heidi is a stupid worthless cunt. i hate that bitch and really dont see any point of the media keeping up with her. she’s an idiot and is desperate for attention. sad really. get a life you plastic slut. no one cares about you and your fake parts. as for comment # 118 i would doubt it either.

  49. jaimie

    LOL @ 90…so true. I thought of that scene in Mean Girls when I saw these pics as well

  50. missywiss

    @ 3 – Oh, shut up already.

    So, is Heidi reduced to a life of fake reality video’s like these? That wasn’t even a real yoga instructor. It was funny when they cut from when the instructor was helping her to another completely different “pose”. I bet she fell on her fake bum.

    @ 143- she already had them done!

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