Heidi Montag and her giant new breasts do yoga

January 25th, 2010 // 217 Comments

Despite the fact that yoga is the Devil’s aerobics, Heidi Montag spent the weekend testing the limberness of her new body that she can’t afford because exactly five people bought her album. Which is why I’m pretty sure this is a porn audition. But if it’s not, wow, what a fucking idiot. This is like hitting a home run into space in front of the president of baseball only to turn down a major league contract to pursue whatever the hell it is Heidi does. Human guinea pig for vapid people? I don’t even care.


Photos/Video: Pacific Coast News
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  1. juck

    Whats the point of this badly done yoga video?
    She is hot but I mean cmon she is the biggest tool ever.

  2. dufus

    idk if anyone else watches ‘spongebob squarepants’, but heidi’s face now looks exactly like squidward’s did after he got hit in the face with a door, in the episode where he got to be really handsome, and everyone mobbed him because he was so good looking. i would bet heidi was home watching spongebob one day, saw that episode, and ran to her plastic surgeon with a still of squidward, and told the dr. ‘i want to look like THIS!’, convinced if it worked for a cartoon squid, it would work for her too.

  3. So gorgeous!

    Everyone here is jealous, dammit she looks so good! Way better then before! If I had the money I’d go to her plastic surgeon! At least she’s doing what she wants, look good, feel good!

  4. renee

    give it 5 yrs and lets see where she is then…………..

  5. Wyndam

    american taste = blowup dolls

  6. ballsy

    Just a though. Does anyone else think she got a vaginoplasty while she was at it?

  7. Teri

    she looks great. I wish she didn’t, but she does. her plastic surgeon is amazing.

  8. JessicaR

    Must be nice to be able to have a great body without any effort (well, except for draining your bank account). The rest of us actually have to work for it by doing real exercise. Bummer.

  9. vito

    I have been forced into making a cataclysmic declaration…

    I fucking HATE fake tits. But she looks fucking BANGIN’. I think her face looks much prettier and, despite HER tit and ass implants, I’d like to fuck her till she passes out,

    There, I said it. Outloud. Now I hate myself. I better go to confession…

  10. Mr. Lahey

    Dead face

  11. I hate people

    Yeah, I would totally bend that over and fuck it. It’s not like Spencer is anyway and I want to get my shot before she starts making hardcore porn, which will probably be within a year.

  12. Dose of Reality

    HATERS GONNA HATE. She looks incredible. Her surgeon(s) is/are extremely gifted.

  13. Dallas

    This girl needs help.

    Why would she transform her face? What the @#$%?

    She looks gorgeous, but it’s just not her any more. Guess she wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

    Now will she start tweaking it year by year until she ends up like the ‘cat woman’ from New York?

  14. Pal

    Good point about the swelling. It takes about 6 months for the swelling to go down, and almost a full year for it to be completely gone. She got surgery just a couple of months ago. For the first 3 months after I had septoplasty, I looked like a boxer after a fight. So, her face is most definitely still swollen.

  15. nope

    she was soooo much better looking pre-plastic!

  16. Lololr

    id hit it

  17. Oh, girlfriend, you should know that real boobs come together in the middle when in that position, not hanging out on the side like a jobless high school dropout.

  18. Boo you

    Does this remind anyone else of the movie “Death Becomes Her” for some reason? She looks so fake she almost reminds me of a dead girl.. Or atleast dead behind the eyes.

  19. Why would anyone name her as the face of anything fitness related when as soon as she saw a little fat she went and got it away.

  20. Dan

    WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A VIDEO

    WHAT

    I DON’T

  21. oh ,biggggggggggggggggggggg

  22. clpierced

    if i was in heidi’s position i would be doing the same thing. i would whore myself out. i would pose in random yoga positions for paparazzi and pretend to work out hard. anything for money :) well besides sexytime…

    and she still is not hottt. the bod is nice though.

  23. Krys

    She looks a hell of a lot better than she did on that mag cover.
    She’s attractive in that “i look just like every other fucking broad in LA” sort of way.
    The video was hilarious.
    She’s most def on her way to porn.
    She should send that to Vivid as her audition tape.

  24. I hear she’s a really good singer.

    LOL

  25. Hugh Gentry

    she looks so much better now!!

  26. minx

    What the fuck is up with that video? Gave me the chills. Beyond creepy.

  27. wigwam

    I’d put my penis in her plastic surgery restored vagina, mouth, tits, ass, ear, nose, then plop a load right on her chin.

  28. Jack

    So, is this the first stepping stone to hardcore porn?

  29. Robot

    @12 i take it you are a brainless prep so of course all you care about is looks. Or you are a fat creepy 45 year old virgin and in which case you would have sex with ANY chick that spread her legs.(Rosey O’donald) Personality it what people should care about. Soulless shells of people like you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet.

  30. Caroline

    Does her left implant look a little wonky? not as smooth as the right side cleavage…imperfection #1 already discovered.

  31. wosh

    I love you Randal!

  32. maric38

    That yoga instructor def looks fake…or something fishy about it..Heidi is doing all the moves before the instructor is…must be choreographed for an US weekly photo shoot like her and Spencer used to do…you can tell that she is aware of her face and smiles now and again

  33. gen

    Wow, not even paparazzi. Spencer probably filmed that.

    And she needs help doing the bridge? Really?

    Sorry to break it to you guys, but she probably has no clue how to fuck. That husband of hers certainly isn’t giving her any practice, and she sucks at yoga…

  34. mensa

    That was the stupidest fucking video I have ever seen. And I grew up watching Barney, people.

  35. Shay

    From the thumbnail sized pictures, I legitimately though that was Octomom chillin to the side of her. Scared me.

  36. Leneyoyo

    I love that plastico look and love those huge plastic boobs… she is beyond hot IMO.

  37. The Situation

    She reminds me of pornstar Tawny Roberts.

  38. Milandir

    Problem is, there was nothing to fix. She was a pretty girl and now she looks unreal.

  39. lenora

    She does look really good…way better than she used to. If all the people here blasting her had the money they’d want to look like this too. Unfortunately she has no career besides being a vapid attention whore and doing porn in the future and if there’s one thing everyone here knows from reading this site it’s that the Pamela Anderson look doesn’t age well. You may look good now, Heidi McAssclown, but your hourglass is quickly running out. plus you’re broke now and your entire life is basically a huge joke.

    Hollywood will bite you by the plastic tits like the dog did to Regina’s mom in Mean Girls, chew you up like skank flavored bubblegum, and puke you back up in some Z-list LA back alley which reeks of crusty cunt for talentless, ungracefully aging has-beens such as yourself…and once you’re there, you will wander bowels of LA for the rest of your life, with the likes of shauna sand and pamela anderson and, eventually, kim kardashian and paris hilton, desperately selling every last ounce of your dignity by flashing your disease-ridden vag long after anyone is interested because you’re too stupid to figure out that when your sole asset is your looks, and then lonely men get tired of blowing loads on your plastic face in the photoshopped pages of porno mags, people don’t give a shit anymore. Then you will die ugly, broke, and alone, probably of skin cancer. Pathetic that you sold your soul for that, really

  40. wtf

    why the fuck is she wearing 15 “powerbead” bracelets for? (anyone remember those? they were big in the 90′s).

  41. Mama Pinkus

    I never thought I’d say this but I feel very sorry for Ms. Montag – something has gone horribly wrong for her

  42. Why do Yoga, when just one more trip to the plastic surgeon is SO much less effort!?

  43. me

    ok she is doing yoga… why is she always looking at the camera????????” retarded bitch

  44. Skeletor

    I’m pretty sure the yoga instructor is the goth girl from the movie The Breakfast Club all growd up. Skeletor liked her in that movie, but would think twice before I’d let her align my chakras.

  45. OMG

    23 and all she can move is the edge of her lips its sad really

  46. Pal

    BTW…That’s not really yoga…She’s posing for the cameras. It’s so ridiculous, her friend/yoga instructor is trying not to break out in laughter in the video.

  47. Yoga does wonder for the body and it shows! but excess of it may be harmful for ur assets lol

    —–
    Andy

  48. NiceTry

    This is a desperate attempt by Dr. Ryan to DAMAGE CONTROL the situation. It isn’t a coincidence that he is the owner of the “bony pony ranch”. This incredibly staged “yoga session” has been photoshopped and edited to the tenth degree. This man is doing everything he can to save his reputation after the downright frightening interviews that were filmed of this poor individual mere days ago. It is a medical impossibility for all swelling to subside within 7 days. Glad they decided to invest in a skilled photo editor so the young girls that idolize her never see the real effects of poor and overdone plastic surgery.

  49. NIceTry

    This is a pathetic attempt by Dr. Ryan to DAMAGE CONTROL the situation after those terrifying interviews were released. It’s no coincidence that he owns the “bony pony ranch”, the location of this painfully staged “yoga session”. The photos and “video footage” have been photoshopped and edited to the tenth degree. Her swelling from an interview filmed last week haven’t magically subsided. Good thing they hired a good photographer/editor so all of the young girls out there who idolize her are shielded from the reality of her physical deformities. :(

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