Despite the fact that yoga is the Devil’s aerobics, Heidi Montag spent the weekend testing the limberness of her new body that she can’t afford because exactly five people bought her album. Which is why I’m pretty sure this is a porn audition. But if it’s not, wow, what a fucking idiot. This is like hitting a home run into space in front of the president of baseball only to turn down a major league contract to pursue whatever the hell it is Heidi does. Human guinea pig for vapid people? I don’t even care.