Heidi Klum might be a plumber

November 16th, 2007 // 150 Comments

Heidi Klum’s dress did a bad/awesome?/I dunno job of covering her ass at the 12th Annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night. As you can tell I’m not really sure how I feel about these shots, but I’ve decided to share them with you. Maybe because I hate you or maybe because I love you. It all depends on your interpretation of Heidi Klum’s ass crack. Actually, I’d prefer this instead of those ink blot tests my therapist uses. All I ever see in those things is Hayden Panettiere punching a dinosaur. Yeah, she’s mostly mad because my dad ordered us a new mommy from Russia because old mommy “didn’t understand that scotch gives daddy his superpowers.” Which makes sense. Whenever I drink scotch I suddenly develop the uncanny ability to vomit into the dishwasher. I should fight crime.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin.com, Getty Images

  1. chewbacca


    Never gets old listening to undereducated morons, either, Melanie dear.

    We have very few African American people in our country and I have no issues with people of ANY colour. Just people with ridiculous racist attitudes and moronic outlooks. In case you werent aware, the percentage of African American people in Australia is far outweighed by the percentage of Aboriginal and African people.

    You and Brian can go shopping for history books together.

    Oh, and calling people ‘retards’ isnt acceptable in my country either. We call them people with disabilties.


  2. sillypanda!

    lol, gross. how can she not notice her entire ass hanging out of that ugly dress??

    plus, shes hella annoying, with the way she tries to sound like a kid.

    buutt..she has great teeth! =]

  3. LOL

    Still LMAO at the insecurity of white males

  4. an observation


    wow, you just gobble up racist troll bait like it’s the greatest snack around.

  5. panty pudding


    that was hysterical. you played that idiot like a fiddle.

  6. so there

    people, don’t you know that racists are smart? trying to changing their ignorant ways is about as likely as teaching a rock to lay an egg.

  7. Classy*Heaux

    #71, he’s not from Africa, he’s from England and was born and raised there. His scars are from a skin ailment called discoid lupus. You’re stupid. “Oh he’s black, must be from Africa, must be tribal scars.”


  8. brian

    Ahhh, latina. Thanks for pointing out that your a disgusting fat little troll with bad skin from an underveloped country. I know that your bitter because none of your men have reached full height at 4″10 and that you have to sneak into america and live with 30 other rodents in a one bedroom apartment. Im glad that you can split up that rent payment thou so you can by an expedition and cover it with your mexican feces of a flag.

  9. lauren

    aww…i think they are the cutest couple. seal is so rich a luxurious looking with his lovely dark skin. and they look awesomely glittery together…i won’t comment on the butt crack simply because i don’t care. shes a babe.

  10. LOL

    Awwwww poor tiny weenie pasty-skinned internet gangster chick repellant Brian. Sweetie, there is no such word as “Underveloped,” okay whiteboy?

    Perhaps when are capable of telling your wife and daughter’s vaginas apart, you may begin to grasp that not all Latinas are Mexican immigrants. And that the lowest Mexican is WAY better than your cowardly, awkward, effeminate, zero-swagger, jealous, insecure, black male obsessive, confederate panty wearing, ugly pale ass. lol.

    I don’t blame you though.. if I had to gobble Viagra to jerk off to interracial porn, I would be mad at the world too.

  11. Elrod

    One more race traitor down the tubes. Heidi Klum is a dirty, disgusting traitor and I hope her body continues to droop and sag like it’s starting to. She and her half breed children with what’s his name just need to go away and remove themselves from the public eye.

  12. Brian, you’re a fucking dip shit. You’re the kind of ass-faced clown that makes me almost ashamed to be white. Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.


    The Bullshit Observer

  13. steve

    that disgusting wart/mole/wart on her alien spine is just the perfect touch to her nasty crack hanging out.

    You can just smell her barely wiped ass from here. I’m a fully libidinous dude, but that is disgusting.

    Hope that mole in malignant.

  14. me

    This is not sexy. This is not a good look. This is just plain trash!!!

  15. What's Your Education, Brian?


    So you are a janitor at Walmart?

  16. TS

    Hey #113, for you to even say something like that is fucked up. You shouldn’t wish cancer on anyone, It’s not funny.

    You’re an asshole. Go fuck your mother.

  17. hah

    You got to love these sad white boys who cant stand seeing heidi with seal lol :) well at the end of the day they’re all happy,rich and beautiful and you’re still here hating on them while they are out living their lives, sad isn’t it? But try to ignore these sad individuals, they could only dream to get a beautiful woman like heidi.

  18. Jerry

    I just saw there are several new videos on Heidi and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show just posted up at Webcastr. Do a search or here’s a link to one of them:


  19. tracey

    Her arse just doesn’t look right without my cock sticking out of it.

    Seal is an ugly, talentless one-hit wonder.

    Bio-diversity is important, by the way.

    If we can get enough inter-racial children born, racial hatred will disappear, and we can concentrate on the important business of euthenasing all of the gingers.

  20. tourmaline

    @112 Love your site!

  21. Thomas

    Why did she dressed at all lol

  22. Thomas

    Why did she dressed at all lol

  23. There are few better things in life than ass crack shots like Heidi gave us in these pics. I just got back from BRAZIL and looked at nice “buyable” ass like that all week. Can’t be beat. Can’t be beat!!!!

  24. james goonan

    ugky whore, looks like a man

  25. carsten5577

    119: “Bio-diversity is important, by the way.
    If we can get enough inter-racial children born, racial hatred will disappear, and we can concentrate on the important business of euthenasing all of the gingers.”

    If you favour biodiversity than you should oppose race-mixing, as race-mixing reduces biodiversity. Race-mixing is a form of ethnic murder. But I wouldn’t expect a low I.Q. man-ape hybrid to think logically.

    Racial-mixing is indeed synonymous with biological mass murder or genocide. The U.N. definition of genocide states that conditions which prevent the survival of any group can be considered genocide. Thus, multiracialism – leading to displacement and mixing – IS genocide.

  26. ……………..and to be honest: ONLY ONE SINGLE PLUMBER WON’T DO THE TRICK!!

  27. fearne

    lol shut up it isn’t genocide.
    You are using the term “group” very loosely there.
    Anything can be called a group. Curing diseases could then be called genocide since we are getting rid of a “group” then

    They would still be surviving, no one is being killed off, why does skin colour matter so much anyway that they must be purposely preserved?
    But I agree that just because a small amount of people have prejudice it doesn’t mean we should try to change things by getting people to have mixed race babies.
    Those prejudiced people should change their frickin minds. Although i’m not sure if that would be harder and take longer than the whole world being a mixed race state….

  28. BWAHAHA, worth seeing that skanky crack, due to the picture of the fellow staring intently at it.

    Made my day.

  29. She is very sexy. I saw her nude photos and profile on nudistconnect.com. It is great. Maybe she enjoys the nudist lifestyle

  30. She is very sexy. I saw her nude photos and profile on http://www.nudistconnect.com. It is great. Maybe she enjoys the nudist lifestyle

  31. blizzy

    @ 77 – I got news for Brian…there are more whites on welfare than any other segment in our population. Of course it’s because there are more whites in this country than other races; but that doesn’t diminish the fact that it’s true.

    Funny how you take you parent’s hate and ignorance and turn it into your own because you’re a follower and not a leader. Don’t worry…there will be plenty of us enlightened folks in the future for you to hand non-fat lattes to.

  32. blizzy

    @125 – got news for you buddy…you haven’t the slightest clue what you are. For the most the purest race right now is the asian race, primarily because of the dominance of their genes but even they have a little something extra in their pool.

    No idea where the phrase bio diversity came from…nice improv. I think genetic diversity is what you’re looking for; and that exists at the genetic level which goes deeper than just race. We characterize race as the appearance of certain things (extra mellanin in the skin, slanted eyes, color or hair etc.) but there are other things that remain dominant in our genes that always will thus ensuring genetic diversity. Intelligence in and of itself, and the depth to which someone can learn and understand is a genetic trait.

    Based on some of the things I read in this site…I thank God for genetic diversity.

  33. Anal Phlegm Munch

    I would lick her asshole for hours on end.

  34. gertie

    can we change this already ………………… who we want more celeb news

  35. Anal Phlegm Munch

    Oh, and it has been proven that black males have the lowest average IQs in the world. Do some research.

  36. rabbi schiller

    This sort of thing needs to be made socially unacceptable again. I’m guessing she didn’t have a real father figure in her life.

  37. cheetos

    #135 that ignorant statistic might matter if she cared about his brain. she already said she wanted him for his cock. pay attention, stupid.

  38. ppc

    Brian et al., it’s sure is easy to make racist comments when you’re anonymous, isn’t it? The problem with this country is that most people — black, white, Hispanic, etc — are comfortable with their lives and can easily look the other way when it comes to uncomfortable issues like global warming, the war in Iraq, and poverty. Having said that, I believe that the majority of people are not bad, and they are simply trying to raise their children right and take care of their families.
    This notion that most blacks are lazy and that most Jews are “industrious” is just a ploy to get us all riled up and pissed off.

  39. amma

    …she can be and sometimes is hot. But this crack thing is sooo way tacky looking. Yuk!

  40. chenush

    its funny, in hebrew “klum” means “nothing”. like she is…

  41. rabbi schiller

    #137 How is that an ‘ignorant statistic’? It’s a fact.

  42. She is more than hot . Her nude profile and some of her nice nude photos were found on a nudist date site named http://www.Nudistonly.com . I was curious why she was there . Is she a nudist ? Anyone can advise ?

  43. BigOne

    Ewww Gross. I don’t even want to look at anything where that big, black, nasty seal has been.

  44. blizzy

    I find it funny how people use statistics they don’t understand to base arguments that work in their favor.

    Studies have show no difference between mean IQ when adjusted for socioeconomic groups. I’ll translate this for the supremacists who find it hard to read words with more than 2 syllables – put two children in a room, 1 black, 1 white who come from similar backgrounds and share a socioeconomic status and guess what – the test results were the same. Unfortunately for both groups, add a 3rd child who’s asian in the same grouping and we both lose.

    To say that whites are smarter than blacks or any other race for that matter is proof of a lack of intelliegence due to belief in flawed logic…but hell, some of you believe the earth is only 6,000 or so years old so bleh.

  45. Rabbi Schiller

    Nonsense. There is still an IQ gap even when SES is controlled for. You’re right, North East Asians outscore both blacks and Whites. (Although us Jews beat everyone) It’s funny how the reality of racial differences in intelligence isn’t a problem when Whites are out-scored. You appear to be saying that blacks and Whites are equal but Asians are smarter. That’s actually the first time I’ve heard that stupid, baseless argument.
    You’re also forgetting that low intelligence is largely responsible for lower SES in the first place.

  46. Karisha

    Uh yea she looks like a 14 year old boy in that dress with her spine all sticking out and tiny ass crack showing. Not sure what possessed her to wear that dress, or anything that would show off her ass crack. “Just say no to crack Heidi!”

  47. Gordon

    I agree that her awful makeup and ugly dress make her look like the old, cheap whore that she is rather than a world-class super model.

    But I must admit, I’d like to open the back of that dress and lick her ass then let her phuck my mouth…then let her suck and phuck my cock. All she really wants is to be treated like the trashy whore that she is, and since I’m such a nice guy I’d do that for her. :-))

  48. kamelfaqher

    never mind the bare back it’s the shit odor molecules trailing from her butthole that’s everyone around is breathing hahaha

  49. kamelfaqher

    never mind the bare back it’s the shit odor molecules trailing from her butthole that’s everyone around is breathing hahaha

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