Heidi Klum might be a plumber

November 16th, 2007 // 150 Comments
1116_heidi_klum_butt_00.jpg

Heidi Klum’s dress did a bad/awesome?/I dunno job of covering her ass at the 12th Annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night. As you can tell I’m not really sure how I feel about these shots, but I’ve decided to share them with you. Maybe because I hate you or maybe because I love you. It all depends on your interpretation of Heidi Klum’s ass crack. Actually, I’d prefer this instead of those ink blot tests my therapist uses. All I ever see in those things is Hayden Panettiere punching a dinosaur. Yeah, she’s mostly mad because my dad ordered us a new mommy from Russia because old mommy “didn’t understand that scotch gives daddy his superpowers.” Which makes sense. Whenever I drink scotch I suddenly develop the uncanny ability to vomit into the dishwasher. I should fight crime.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin.com, Getty Images
superficial

  1. jenna

    So many negative ppl here…=( She´s absolutely stunning! And there´s nothing wrong with Seal, how shallow must one be to even question what she sees in him? Is looks all that matters to ppl here? What do you know, he might have a wonderful personality. I don´t think he looks that bad either, without his disease he looks just like anybody else!

  2. she’s very hot….despite already gave birth to 2 kids. two or 3?

  3. stuff my muff

    women with kids are the easiest prey ever. they scream “save me from my spinster destiny”. seal isn’t a saint cause he took in a woman discarded by her baby’s father. those are the easiest women to catch cause they are so need and desperate. i see it all day long on judge mathis. and the fact that after all this time together she’s walking around talking about his cock on TV and showing her ass crack shows how pathetic she is. no wonder flavio briatore dumped her curbside. she’s loud, tacky, and has no class.

  4. SKANK BURRITO

    but does her vagina look good for for having three kids? that’s the real question. nothing beats out a young, tight, pussy. anybody can buy a younger face or body.

  5. Dog the Bounty Hunter

    Jesus H. Christ that nagger is fucking hideous. Better he dates her than one of my daughters. Did someone club that Seal in the face when he was a baby?

    I mean what a fucking monster. He looks like a jacked up homeless crackhead. He looks like the supervillian in some comic book movie that got sprayed in the face with acid. Their children must look like halfbreed versions of that thing from the movie “Basket Case.” God, so disgusting. Just one glance at that nagger made me throw up in my mouth.

    Dog the Bounty Hunter Season 3 now on DVD.

  6. best site. ???????

  7. ToTellTheTruth

    #21 What the hell does she see in that ugly guy? UGH I hope he is very rich.

    Umm…wtf? Thanks for letting us ALL know that you’ve been living under a rock or possibly even a cedar tree all of your fucking life. That’s SEAL you MORON..and he’s a SINGER and YES he’s rich. Try looking shit up first, before you make a stupid comment and make an ASS out of yourself. Geez.

  8. Sheva

    Yeah, how did anyone send out that woman looking so awful and tacky. Classy.

    As for Seal, the guy is a damn excellent artist. I’ve enjoyed his work going back to his first album. Don’t care about the chick at all. He’s a fine artist as long as he’s happy good enough for me.

    But these empty vessels and their attempts at being considered important outside of doctored photos, who cares what they say or think. They don’t read and know nothing about the world except for hand bags.

    Which they all will become soon enough.

  9. Not You

    #44 I see what you are saying, but this is Superficial. The whole point of this site is to make fun of people no matter what. If you can’t handle this, I suggest you fuck off, and whatever you do, don’t go onto the page about Teri Hatcher saying she was abused or Maggie Gyllanhaal (however you spell her end name) breastfeeding. I don’t think you could handle it.

  10. carsten5577

    Talk about the odd couple. An old, talentless model with the I.Q. of an amoeba and a one-hit wonder, bald, pock-marked, hideous man-ape hybrid. The world is full of insane people. That’s why we should have laws against that sort of thing.

  11. Petite

    #27- my sentements exactly!

    “….you’d probably look good too if someone was paying you. but since no one is, continue stuff your face with burritos.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    I got really skinny last summer, and it was hard, and I missed out on some good food. This summer, I decided to be happy with my little belly and NOT try so hard! No one is paying me to be skinny, so why the fuck am I trying so hard?!?!

  12. LOL

    White boys are so insecure, it’s too funny

  13. stupid stoopid stewpid

    #62

    good points and besides, every photo of a model in a magazine is retouched so these women look great but they aren’t as perfect as Photoshop makes them. Be happy that you are real and not manufactured.

  14. ddd

    Man, if you guys are the audience, no wonder the media sucks so much donkey shit.

  15. brian

    I find it amusing that this Peice of dog shit web site has the fucking nerve to review the comments and only post the ones that they deem “OK”. Thats pretty fucking hypocritical considering they will post and spew any half based peice of fucking mindless garbage they get off tv or some dumbfuck photographer.

  16. brian

    HAHA, i got a kick out of the monkey that said “white boys are insecure”. I would have to say the most insecure race in this country is the so called “african-american”. First off, You can drop that african bullshit right off the front of that. The Vast majority of blacks in this country have zero knowledge of their african history or roots. Second, the advancement of the african culture in the united states is deplorable. (not the white mans fault) I guess when your insecure you worry more about your SHOES, RIMS, CARS< and how much fucking gold you can own. Instead of taking care of what should be important to your race’s future. The value of family and education of yourself and children. But, instead you worry about basketball and rap music. I see black men EVERYDAY with their children and they are wearing a Scarface shirt with a fucking drug dealer holding a GUN!!!! And you wonder why we have no respect for you or your children??? Look what you teach them!!!

  17. brian

    HAHA, i got a kick out of the monkey that said “white boys are insecure”. I would have to say the most insecure race in this country is the so called “african-american”. First off, You can drop that african bullshit right off the front of that. The Vast majority of blacks in this country have zero knowledge of their african history or roots. Second, the advancement of the african culture in the united states is deplorable. (not the white mans fault) I guess when your insecure you worry more about your SHOES, RIMS, CARS< and how much fucking gold you can own. Instead of taking care of what should be important to your race’s future. The value of family and education of yourself and children. But, instead you worry about basketball and rap music. I see black men EVERYDAY with their children and they are wearing a Scarface shirt with a fucking drug dealer holding a GUN!!!! And you wonder why we have no respect for you or your children??? Look what you teach them!!!

  18. my comment

    EW!

    Simply disgusting.

    She also looks like a corpse with too much make up in pic 5.

  19. hausfrau

    #44- Seal’s face is not like that from a disease. It’s tradition in his tribe to scar adolescent’s faces as a rite of passage into manhood.

  20. LOL

    @68 & 69:

    First of all, I am Latina.

    Secondly, thanks for proving my point, dumbass.

    Obviously you’re just as obssessed with black men as your women are. What a sad little wuss..

  21. ha8ter

    #69- yes, Brian, we whites are certainly teaching our children all kinds of valuable cultural lessons, aren’t we? Spend spend spend so that you can compete with your friends for who has the most material possessions. Then when your credit runs out and you can’t make the payments, so what? Just declare bankruptcy so that the people who actually DO live within their means can take up the slack. Judge everyone else according to their physical beauty, and don’t worry about feelings getting hurt. Anorexia and bulimia are no big deal, not your problem. It’s okay to be a racist pig as long as nobody knows about it. Why don’t you volunteer to be a Big Brother to a black kid who doesn’t have a dad so that he can maybe grow up to be a responsible father, or go read to some inner city kids one afternoon so that they will value education and knowledge and maybe grow up to be contributing members of society. Or, you could just spew your hatred of your closed little life and mind on an anonymous web site and go to your meaningless job everyday and bitch about everyone else.

  22. HELP

    First of all, #29, what do you mean childbirth doesn’t change your hips? Are you on drugs? or are you a guy posing as a female. Of course having a child changes your hips…along with almost everything else in your body. You are a moron.

    Second, “sexy” and “prostitute-outfit” are now interchangeable in the minds of most celebrities. If you go out looking like a fricking whore, you must look hot. WRONG. Looking like a tramp only make you look cheap and ridiculous. Maybe these women could start leaving a little more to the imagination.

    Sorry, but I don’t want to see her ass crack in public, I don’t care how hot she is. How proud her children will be someday!

  23. Nitsua

    Good Comment#30. not so kosher…’.she said on Oprah the first thing that got her interested in him was seeing him giant schlonh through his workout shorts. she just went on and on about it. shows how “deep” she is. don’t have to be pretty just have a hugh black snake.’

    Simply she is a cheap no class whore Who got lucky

  24. SysRq

    WTF is that!
    Guess I prefer the Airbrushed Enhanced Version
    NEXT!

  25. brian

    Im glad that you were quick to point out what the jews have done to our american nation. Your totally right. BUY BUY BUY is now the american way and wealth and ownership has taken over the majority of the american mind. Who has the power in this county??? The media? Hollywood? I think that it would be safe to say that the americans now bask in ownership and gossip due to the jew mentality that is sold to us every single day on tv and in the movies. And, if you dont believe it and just think im some racist fool with blind hate do a little reasearch and see what race owns the majority of communication outlets in this country. Second example is the jewish, liberal mentality that is alive and well in this country!! It becomes more and more clear every day that mindless americans stand for NOTHING. They have no love of state or country and would never risk family or life to protect the values of our forefathers. As for me taking care of somone elses kid, thats laughable, I have time for MY children and i have taken care of my responsibilites. As for my worthless job??? I work for one of the oldest and largest companies in the world and i havent been without a job for more than a week since i was a 12 year old in michigan delivering papers. Ive done my best to work and be a GOOD american. Its just so fucking sad to see blacks and mexicans tear it apart and destroy the system with their laziness.

  26. starlitaf

    does this mean she’s not wearing underwear? *cringe* is that the new fashion?

    that’s a hideous dress. even on a younger model. i don’t want to see anyone’s ass crack. i think in hollywood women don’t want to accept the fact that they’re getting older.

    i agree she’s a bit annoying. project runway could do without her. she doesn’t add much to the show. i can’t say she has any fashion sense (as we can see).

  27. carsten5577

    73#”Why don’t you volunteer to be a Big Brother to a black kid who doesn’t have a dad so that he can maybe grow up to be a responsible father, or go read to some inner city kids one afternoon so that they will value education and knowledge and maybe grow up to be contributing members of society. ”

    Whites have been taking care of violent, stupid, lazy, criminal, oversexed negroes for a very long time…we’ve had decades of affirmative action, set-asides, quotas…the entire racial spoils system mainly set up for chronically ungrateful, underachieving negroes and to the detriment of Whites…and it got us precisely nowhere, except to constantly hear additional demands and how racist we really are because negroes still can’t hack it. The fact remains that negroes are genetically incapable of performing out of an agricultural setting and in a post-industrial, knoweldge-based economy. Of course to face that truth is intellectually uncomfortable for out liberal preconceived ideas about human nature and racial differences, and whoever makes that point is ruined both professionally and personally (witness the recent Watson saga). It’s much easier and comfortable to blame Whites for negro failure than to acknoweldge the true causes.

  28. roughdaddy

    i see lots of haters here,,,she looks great,,,shes at a vitoria’s secret fashion show, so she should dress like a grandma? and of course seal is looking at her backside he hits it every night ill bet…

  29. TJ

    Every white parent’s worst nightmare: their pretty blond daughter becoming some African’s trophy woman. Giving them ugly mole-looking grandbabies. Gawd. I bet her parents puke every day just thinking about it.

  30. Hilarious

    @ 77: So you’re mad at blacks and mexicans for being “lazy” and at the same token, mad at Jews for being “industrious?” Ok buddy. Your stupidity is so transparent it’s pathetic. That’s the problem with white boys — too spineless to just come out and say how you really feel. I mean, did anyone catch that guy Dog weeping on CNN like a freaking homo? Secondly, what is a grown, straight man with children doing on a gossip blog geared towards housewives?? And you’re mad that we find other men more masculine.. how retarded is that?

    Question: Were your rapist, thieving, lying forefathers also “good Americans?” Word of advice.. please stop making yourselves look bad. It’s clear from your moronic diatribe that you’re jealous and insecure.. almost like a bunch of black men rejected you or something. What are you guys, some kind of queers? The irony is that emasculated sissies like you end up with daughters/wives than can’t get enough of black men.

    It’s funny what LOL said about white boys and you all stormed out in droves to prove her right. Shows how smart you really are.

  31. Story

    She and her ugly husband are the typical “Beauty and The Beast” celebrity couple.

  32. brian

    First off, Your a fucking moron, why dont you take a min to look up the word industrious. The jews are far from industrious. Actually, the jewish nation hasent been industrious since they were enslaved by the egyptians and forced into slave labor. As far as your second dumbass statement, I just came out and told you the way i felt and have no problem saying it to anyone. I find your “spineless” statement even more laughable…This coming from a negro woman! Your race are the most spineless cowards on the fucking planet. You dont fist fight you just shoot each other like a bunch of fucking monkeys. And when there is a fist fight there is always more than one of you, very cowardly. Lets talk somemore about “spineless”…. How many Black babies does this country have to pay for? Left by their “gansta” daddy, now the taxpayers are responsible for this little fucking mistake. BUT WAIT!! does this stop the momma from popping out 3 more fucking mistakes?? NOOOOOO. As far as MY forefathers, Maybe you should open a few fucking history books before you open your mouth. IT was the african people who hunted down and sold the slaves to the english, not the white man. Second, maybe you need to look up some african history. If you think the fathers of are country are so bad why dont you pack your shit and move backt to africa. Malaria, aids, starvation, drought, genocide. Africa is the most fucked up continent on the planet, Your civilization has had thousands of years to evolve. You should be the smartest, best armed and financed continent in the world. Instead, its a fucking shithole overrun by greedy monkeys that kill each other with no regard for human life. ( Kinda sounds like the ghettos here. As for that last joke of a statement, the only women that i have ever seen with a black man are fat, disgusting, white trailor trash. No, self respecting white woman would ever date a monkey.

  33. chewbacca

    Brian, puddin’, I am a professional psychic. I thought I should share this with you.

    I get this mental picture of a tiny-wienered, cafe au lait coloured boy with a big nose named ‘Brian Greenberg’ typing furiously at his computer, in a room papered by swastikas and ‘White Pride’ posters. Tears are dropping off the end of his giant nose as he contemplates his secretive (and futile) adoration for his neighbour, a boy named Mark. (If you’re this disturbed, Bri-Bri, you probably have homophobic tendencies too).

    Woops. Back to the psychic hotline.

    You take a moment to glance up at your book collection, and notice that all four of them are missing from the shelf and scattered around the room. None of them is ‘Mein Kampf’, (too hard to read) and none of them are hard covers. Certainly none of them are history books.

    You think about that unpleasant incident with Mommy in the bathtub and weep a little more, before pounding the keyboard with more angst and ruminating on the unfairness of not inheriting your greatuncles enormous peenie.

    Usually I’d charge you for a reading. But today you get a pity vote, honey.

    Love, Zita

  34. Hilarious

    I’m going to go ahead and ignore your impotent rant. But I find it interesting that you know an awful lot about people you allegedly hate. One thing I know for sure is that I find it hard to picture a black man writing the effeminate garbage you spew. And you wonder why we find them attractive. Your life must really suck… up late on a Saturday night digging up gossip blogs while your wife is probably fantasizing about some black man.

    Listen f*ggot, how can I break this down to you? Next time you run into Seal or any random black man, stop them and let them know how you “feel.” Then come back and tell us about it.

    LOL

  35. superficial, but not a cunt

    #60…Aww, was that an attempt at wit?
    Since Maggie G’s tits have nothing to do with disease or accidents then I have no problem with you making fun of her. People were arguing over her choice to bring them out in public.
    How is that like someone being deformed from a disease? It’s not in any way the same, so why would you even bring it up? Oh I see, to try and make me look like a stupid feminist or something.

    If she got one of her tits chopped up because of breast cancer and you commented on her shitty looking tits it would be different. I wasn’t personally offended but taking the chance to point out ignorant people’s stupidity.
    I encourage you to pull your head out of your arse for a second and take a few breaths of fresh air. It might help you to think more clearly, douchebag.

  36. brian

    Wow, if your a physic, Your a really, really bad physic. Not one thing you said about me was right. Its ok thou, Most ignorant people try and take personal shots when they dont have an educated argument. Thanks for proving my point!! As for the other cunt, You right, you wouldnt find a black man spewing out anything except “keepin it real” or “you my nigga”. Thats my fucking point, Typical blacks dont care about anything of any kind of importance. When a black man does get educated, hes kicked down by his own race for being an “uncle tom” or hes just “trying to be white”. I guess its better to try an be an athlete, than a senator. Its sad that your generation’s motto wil be “get rich or die tryin”. Oh yeah, By the way i find it amusing that you spew hate at a racist with slander against gays. Glad to see your a hypocrit as well.

  37. Heidi's Hot-You're Not!

    Prettiest plumber ever. She’s still hot in the thirties and even after three kids. Good genes. Some women are just like that. Deal with it. Appreciate it. Or just ignore it but don’t hate on it. I doubt your fat a$$es could fit into that dress so quit your yappin’.

  38. jen

    yep….the good ol’ plumbers butt……here we would be saying “we dont allow any crack”
    http://www.spymac.com/details?2300969

  39. tourmaline

    @84 That’s probably the most pathetic thing I’ve read today. Do you preach that bullshit to your children? My father talked about black people like that, but even as a young child I saw it for what it was; ignorance.

  40. Puts a whole new meaning to “plumbers butt” doesn’t it:-)

  41. chewbacca

    LOL.

    OK, I concur. Take one book off Brian’s shelf. I’ve never been good at physics. You’re entirely right, Brian.

    Whilst you are looking up ‘psychic’ at the library, look up ‘sarcasm’ or ‘irony’. Its nice to see that thou has a Biblical upbringing. And thanks for giving me the biggest laugh of the day by including the words ‘educated argument’.

    I don’t know any ‘typical black men’, babe – I live in Australia, and we have Aboriginal people, not African Americans. But I’m a nice, immigrant shade of pasty white, and I can tell you now that your type (redneck white trash) prove evolution (and possibly the missing link) nicely.

    Well done, Bri-Bri!

    Love,
    Zita

  42. Bella

    she looks good for a 40 something mother
    ‘Butt she needs to realize that is simply a tacky Ugly shirt!

  43. said

    I’ve lost some respect for Seal
    THAT matchy matchy SILVER SUITE Heidi made him wear IS DOWN RIGHT GAY

  44. Zondra

    Elton wold look mighty fine in that silver suite

  45. Grandprick

    heidi move on
    how the hell do you model lingerie with SAGGY OL ASS

    if VS is going to showcase 40 year olds then MORE BACK VS MODELS REQUIRED
    !!!

  46. Mama Pinkus

    I think both their outfits are quite nasty but they surely do make a great couple

  47. melani

    #93
    you are a complete retard.

    “I live in Australia, and we have Aboriginal people, not African Americans”

    Er, you get African American people anywhere/everywhere. They are all over the world and guess what.. in Australia too! Amazing isn’t it?!

    Somehow watching white racists argue with black racists never gets old.
    While very amusing, it is still unbelievably annoying. Can you please hurry up and get it over with

  48. Very hot ! Her nude profile and some of her nice nude photos were found on a nudist date site named Nudistonly.com . I was curious why she was there . Is she a nudist ? Anyone can advise ?

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