Heidi Klum is all kinds of nude

October 30th, 2009 // 191 Comments

It’s Friday, so I honestly can’t think of better way to start the day than Heidi Klum all kinds of naked and covered in chocolate sauce. Here she is in photographer Rankin’s just-released coffee table book Heidilicious which is probably the most moving reading experience I’ve had since that time a stripper punched me in the face for reading The Da Vinci Code during a laptop dance. How was I supposed to put that thing down with all the suspense and Jesus wifery?

Pics link to NSFW versions.

Photos: Rankin
superficial

  1. Christina

    This woman has always looked very average in my perception.

  2. thmunger

    is it just me or does the back side eshot with chocolate sauce remind me of a recent trip to Taco Bell? I’m sorry but brown liquid on a women’s butt does not ring sexy. Perhaps I’ve changed too many diapers myself…

  3. Parker

    I have a painful urge to squeeze a load of filling into Heidi’s chocolate covered bum.

  4. SA

    Looks like she and Seal are into bukake.

  5. whew

    Welp, I came.

  6. ok

    her breasts are not fake! what are ya’ll talking about??? im the biggest hate hater of them all and i can still say that she’s beautiful! although, that beingsaid, sheisn’t HOT. just v. beautiful

  7. hmm

    hmm i dunno. don’t get me wrong, heidi is absolutely beautiful without a doubt.. but i don’t really think these pictures are all that sexy to be honest. she looks kind of like a swamp monster with all that chocolate all over her .. and it’s just kind of awkward looking. she’s so beautiful, she really doesn’t need to do this overly sexual junk to be recognized, in my opinion.

  8. hmm

    also, what’s on her left boob in picture 14???

  9. Hello There

    @3 BULLSHIT. Even my own wife had a child and looks GREAT just as before she had the child. It’s called freakng genetics and hot asians have them! You fat white cows don’t! Tough shit!

  10. Sarah

    It appears some men care more about the appearance of the mother rather than the health of the baby. Every woman is different and gains a different amount of weight during pregnancy.

    Mothers who don’t have a team of people to help her are obviously going to care more about the health of the baby rather than her appearance.

    My cousin was so worried about being a “fat” pregnant woman that she only gained about 10 lbs during her pregnancy and her baby was born with a low birth weight and had to stay in the hospital a couple weeks.

    I’m sure that some men on here would be perfectly fine with that though. Who cares about the baby as long as the wife looks good, right?

  11. You don't make sense

    @59: Heidi isn’t Asian…. She’s white. So……

  12. Turd the third

    In those first four picts it looks like she is try to do the Inverse Michael Jackson……….

  13. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    I wonder how it would feel to do anal with her while she was giving birth to her baby?

  14. Mr.Mr.

    *ahem*

    …. now if you would excuse… i have some business to attend to.

  15. Intermino

    @58 It’s called a nipple…

  16. KateGosselin

    Yea. She had about as little plastic surgery as I have.

    She’s a cow. And that nose looks like it’s about to fall off just like Michael Jackson’s.

  17. rae

    heidi is all sorts of sexy

  18. Harold

    Looks like she just got done eating a feces sammich in #12.

  19. Anon

    #61
    what are you talking about?
    Go take it somewhere else.

    It seems most women would rather hate on a woman that looks good after giving birth, Heidi does if you’ve seen her, and say it’s only because of photoshop or surgery because they themselves are hideous and fat to start with then go off on a tangent about men only caring about a womans appearance and not the baby!?! then using an example of an insecure woman as proof of her sexist claims?

    Most men like most women would care about the health of the baby AND mother than her appearence. Nobody here but you mentioned men wanting a woman to be attractive over the baby’s health.

    Whenever a woman gets her figure back it’s the women on here that come up with scurrilous claims of bullshit, fake, surgery than congratulating her.

    That’s the problem with women telling us what men really think.
    They don’t know.

  20. Anon

    #61
    what are you talking about?
    Go take it somewhere else.

    It seems most women would rather hate on a woman that looks good after giving birth, Heidi does if you’ve seen her, and say it’s only because of photoshop or surgery because they themselves are hideous and fat to start with then go off on a tangent about men only caring about a womans appearance and not the baby!?! then using an example of an insecure woman as proof of her sexist claims?

    Most men like most women would care about the health of the baby AND mother than her appearence. Nobody here but you mentioned men wanting a woman to be attractive over the baby’s health.

    Whenever a woman gets her figure back it’s the women on here that come up with scurrilous claims of bullshit, fake, surgery than congratulating her.

    That’s the problem with women telling us what men really think.
    They don’t know.

  21. Anon

    #61
    what are you talking about?
    Go take it somewhere else.

    It seems most women would rather hate on a woman that looks good after giving birth, Heidi does if you’ve seen her, and say it’s only because of photoshop or surgery because they themselves are hideous and fat to start with then go off on a tangent about men only caring about a womans appearance and not the baby!?! then using an example of an insecure woman as proof of her sexist claims?

    Most men like most women would care about the health of the baby AND mother than her appearence. Nobody here but you mentioned men wanting a woman to be attractive over the baby’s health.

    Whenever a woman gets her figure back it’s the women on here that come up with scurrilous claims of bullshit, fake, surgery than congratulating her.

    That’s the problem with women telling us what men really think.
    They don’t know.

  22. Anon

    #61
    what are you talking about?
    Go take it somewhere else.

    It seems most women would rather hate on a woman that looks good after giving birth, Heidi does if you’ve seen her, and say it’s only because of photoshop or surgery because they themselves are hideous and fat to start with then go off on a tangent about men only caring about a womans appearance and not the baby!?! then using an example of an insecure woman as proof of her sexist claims?

    Most men like most women would care about the health of the baby AND mother than her appearence. Nobody here but you mentioned men wanting a woman to be attractive over the baby’s health.

    Whenever a woman gets her figure back it’s the women on here that come up with scurrilous claims of bullshit, fake, surgery than congratulating her.

    That’s the problem with women telling us what men really think.
    They don’t know.

  23. Anon

    #61
    what are you talking about?
    Go take it somewhere else.

    It seems most women would rather hate on a woman that looks good after giving birth, Heidi does if you’ve seen her, and say it’s only because of photoshop or surgery because they themselves are hideous and fat to start with then go off on a tangent about men only caring about a womans appearance and not the baby!?! then using an example of an insecure woman as proof of her sexist claims?

    Most men like most women would care about the health of the baby AND mother than her appearence. Nobody here but you mentioned men wanting a woman to be attractive over the baby’s health.

    Whenever a woman gets her figure back it’s the women on here that come up with scurrilous claims of bullshit, fake, surgery than congratulating her.

    That’s the problem with women telling us what men really think.
    They don’t know.

  24. Anon

    Sorry for all the post superfical was being gay and I was being impatient.

    Bet you all read my comment now.

  25. Didi

    59, you blithering idiot, please look up the definition of “genetics” and how it’s used in a sentence. If you are going to make inflammatory and racist remarks at least have the decency to ensure they make sense.

  26. Vicki Gizzle

    is she trying to look like seal in the pictures where she’s covered in chocolate? if so she’s doing a good job, the only thing missing is the craters.

  27. Aunt

    WOW Seal! You shouldn’t nut all over your wife like that.

  28. TOO BAD THESE ARE AIRBRUSHED TO SHIT!!! This is what she actually looks like and this was one whole baby ago so she looks even worse now.

    http://www.egotastic.com/entertainment/celebrities/heidi-klum/heidi-klum-bikini-pictures-are-not-as-hot-as-they-once-were-003555

  29. jim eh

    ah that explains the nigger love, she’s got a nigger fiuxation.

  30. She’s got my seal of approval, keep makin baby chimps homegirl go on with yo bad self.

  31. You guys are so racist, can’t you see she’s just lathering herself with feces.

  32. patty

    hottest. mom. ever.

  33. Hugh Gentry

    so that’s what a Seal cumshot looks like.

  34. Scooter

    @ 85 – LMFAO – nice!

    Seriously though – this required pink star pasties to mask uhm, chocolate covered nipples that we can’t even see the outlines of under the chocolate? Really? Come on now Superficial…you’re better than this. Oh, wait…

  35. truthhurts

    She’s a known golddigger. Went out with that billionaire race driver and trapped him with a kid. Seal is a typical nice guy who gets the girl when she’s used up.

  36. cattrash

    had to photoshop the mud off her
    den i hit dat
    hit dat
    hit dat
    whew, I be tired.
    (whats a seal?)

  37. Insatiable Peter

    Oh we nevuh evuh gonna surviiiive, uuunless, we get a little doodie.

  38. Insatiable Peter

    And pic 18 depicts the positional coda for all of my conquests. I love the realism.

  39. No Retun

    Without makeup and endless photoshopping, she looks like a hideous wreck.

  40. Angelina Jolie

    Why is everyone so blindsided by photoshop. When these people are just outside and take paparazzi pictures that just look like regular people. What all of a sudden makes people think they are flawless?? People are so ignorant!

  41. Well, we can’t run around nude ALL the time, although some women apparently enjoy trying. Fun article.

  42. Smarm

    “V 16. e-rock – October 30, 2009 12:14 PM

    Come on guys, these shots are not new, they are pre-pregnancy. Still…. NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR. That woman has the genes of a Godess, and probably the most genetically gifted woman on th planet. WTF, her boobs are priceless!!!! Seal is one lucky man!! I realize she has help with kids, probably has a personal trainer, and chef, but come on… NOT FAIR. And I doubt she has had any plastic surgery.”

    Wrong. Get your fucking facts straight before you talk like you know shit. They arent pre pregnancy. Do the research.

  43. Shaq Fu

    ” 92. Angelina Jolie – October 31, 2009 12:39 AM

    Why is everyone so blindsided by photoshop. When these people are just outside and take paparazzi pictures that just look like regular people. What all of a sudden makes people think they are flawless?? People are so ignorant!

    Awwww for christs sake, shut the FUCK UP already…..everyone else is ignorant yet you’re the one claiming every fucking picture in existence is photoshopped, eh? No, we dont think ‘people’ are flawless but just because shes fucking incredible, doesnt mean she HAS to be photoshopped. Jesus Christ. We arent talking a cow who balloons up and then shows up looking rail thin in a mag shoot. Thanks for the insight , ‘Angelina’.

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  45. Heidi Klum is looking so hot & yummy with that liquid chocolate. But her breast is little bit shaggy . I think she needs plastic surgery . But she has got nice figure. Looking so hot..

  46. Bosco

    This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow’s are all wrong.

  47. Heath

    Laptop dance? is that involving your computer?

  48. Rhialto

    Is this her halloween costume?!

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