Heidi Klum and Seal buy a giraffe

April 21st, 2006 // 100 Comments
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superficial

  1. honey

    hey Dr. Rokter.. ummm, ya still got that ‘penis bear’ by any chance? cause, i have a ‘vagina kitten’ and um, ya know.. we might be able make ourselves some little pussy-bears

  2. Binky

    # 46 They’re celebrities. They don’t do their own dumpster-diving.
    They hired people with neatly pressed red shirts.

  3. Jacq

    #15 – If you just had your car sprinkled with gold dust, you wouldn’t wash it either.

    Papa, if you see this, she got the tickets to the Houston game. I saw it in some thread. With the 50 mile rule, I guess you can do her and the tix are all yours.

  4. jugsgirl

    Never play leap frog with a unicorn

  5. “A giraffe?!! They should be getting a ZEBRA!” – George Jefferson

  6. BarbadoSlim

    HAHAHAHA Nice one mami, I’ll use it as soon as I get the chance, and I’ll brief you as soon as I’m released from the Hospital after the footinmyass removal surgery :)

  7. mamacita

    @56

    Just call Tom Cruise. I hear he’s awesome at pulling things out of other guys’ asses. He’s also really good at putting things IN other guys’ asses, so watch out for that. He’s a sneaky bastard.

  8. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I french-kissed Seal once while Heidi tickled my asshole with a feather. I was 12.

  9. honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah

    I wish Heidi and Seal were my parents. I wish my parents had ever once come in the door with something exciting and oversized for me. Besides those times at night, I mean. Through my bedroom door. When I was trying to feign sleep through gritted teeth with the tears pooling in the back of my throat. Tasting bitter. So bitter.

  10. Jacq

    Is that why you have a big_yeahyeahyeah?

  11. sweetcheeks

    Somebody please explain to me what the fuck is going on with this website?!! Did they get a new writer? Is there no REAL celebrity news? Why is it suddenly, painfully NOT funny?

    I get more laughs out of posts lately. You guys are funny bastards.

  12. Fisher55

    To Italian Stallion: I think “mulatto” means “little goat” in…Italian.

  13. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    62 – I thought mulattos were those little black and white cookies from Pepperidge Farm.

  14. mamacita

    @62

    I thought a mulatto was a $17 caramel flavored coffee drink from Starbucks.

  15. snoopy

    howdy, guys. What is shaking?

  16. snoopy

    we’ve missed you over there in Kelly’s corner. How cute the baby Seal.

  17. honey

    @62 – no no no, it’s Billy Ray Cyrus’s ugly ass haircut

  18. mmmBitch

    They’re a great couple – who could hate them? I heard that Heidi Klum speaks to them in both German and English. They’re going to be smart, beautiful and probably riDONKulously rich.

    Dear god.. a ferrari…

  19. stevejuststeve

    Can they clean the freaking dust off the Ferrari before taking it out?

  20. eehh, worst celeb couple. Who cares?

  21. snoopy

    Is it my imagination or does Seal barely have any fleshy part to his nose? When I have seen him in profile shots, he has no profile. What so you think Heidi sees in him??

  22. Land-Man

    #8, Penis size has nothing to do with female sexual pleasure.

  23. snoopy

    Is it my imagination or does Seal barely have any fleshy part to his nose? When I have seen him in profile shots, he has no profile. What so you think Heidi sees in him??

  24. snoopy

    Is it my imagination or does Seal barely have any fleshy part to his nose? When I have seen him in profile shots, he has no profile. What so you think Heidi sees in him??

  25. snoopy

    #72, Oh, yes, it does!

  26. Trotter

    I thought his pock-marks were from some Swahili “coming of age/becoming a man” ceremony where older men scar your face and pierce your penis with splinters of wood.

    Kind of like how MeganHarris treats the cub scouts she’s got in cages in her basement studio apartment.

  27. gammanormids

    well, after weeks of Britneys, Toms and alien babies, finally we see a normal family. I think.
    BTW, last picture is so funny :D
    (my kid also has a giraffe: Heidi Klum and Seal are as cool as I am! :P)

  28. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    72 – When a hooker tells you that, she’s just trying to keep you from crying.

  29. snoopy

    In an article I read that Heidi referred to Seal as “handsome.” Is she blind?

  30. CancerNipples

    Hey, giraffes rule. If you are rich enough to buy a cute big-ass one that sticks out the top of your convertible like a russian nba player, good for you.

    man, TS is really reaching for shit. This is celebrity news?

  31. bunnyhugger

    probably already been said, but i’d either one of them if i could drive that car!!

  32. bunnyhugger

    shit. i;d DO either one of them

    that scientology shit just does not work.

  33. honey

    hey 80 – your screen name just conjures up the most fucking awful visual imagery … i’m serious when i say- i really hope that you are allright

  34. 84th! I hate when people do that.

  35. hafaball

    Not only that, but they also needed two short mexicans to carry it out for them, talk about disgustingly lazy…and wealthy, but those two are the same pretty much.

  36. owen

    I’m not sure, but I think Klum is Hebrew for “nothing”. If only Tom Cruise had known this.Klum Cruise. I love it.

  37. krisdylee

    Ironically, Land-Man (post 72) states that size has nothing to do with a woman’s pleasure… after he brags about a huge cock 50 bazillion times… hmm…

    Let’s ask Edna… how DOES Land-Man serve you? Can he bring you to the brink and beyond with his 2.4 inches?

  38. PukDup

    Are we sure that they didn’t buy the giraffe for some kinky sex?

  39. Pez_D_Spencer

    79 – I bet his face probably spells out Rime of the Ancient Mariner in Braille. With that many bumps, it has to say something.

  40. He’s got a giraffe in his pants

  41. Zooka

    Heidi: Don’t listen to me, look at me!
    Seal: Don’t look at me, listen to me!
    Baby: How much is in my bank account right now!?

  42. junebug

    They have those at FAO Schwarz, they’re awesome.

  43. shankyouverymuch

    He may be a really nice guy, I don’t know, but I do know this … He is soooooo VERY TERRIBLY UGLY … his face looks like it caught fire, burned for 20 minutes and then someone stomped out the flames with heavy duty mountain-climbing boots!!! YUCK-YUCK-YUCK. This truly is a case of beauty and the Butt-Face BEAST, he is really BEASTLY looking… Wicked bad choice for Klum to make.

  44. bla

    Didn’t know there were so many racist, xenophobe, black c**k envying morons on this thread.

  45. Anonymous

    i still think she’s hot, that’s what age does to you, i’d still beat it up

  46. Anonymous

    i still think she’s hot, that’s what age does to you, i’d still beat it up

  47. Anonymous

    i still think she’s hot, that’s what age does to you, i’d still beat it up

  48. Anonymous

    i still think she’s hot, that’s what age does to you, i’d still beat it up

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