Heidi Klum and Elle Macpherson care about weird things

August 11th, 2006 // 77 Comments
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superficial

  1. Heidi Klum IS The Body! God, just take a look at her! Nobody beats Heidi Klum. Nobody.

  2. yasmin3000y

    2nd bitches now im gonna go and read the article

  3. Sierra

    Heidi Klum definitely has the better body.. but Elle is 9 years older, so they’re kind of equal =p

  4. Jedi Kevin

    Heidi Klum can call herself “Das Booty”

  5. jrzmommy

    Elle is gorgeous. GORGEOUS! The original. The one and only. Eat your heart out Heidi.

  6. jrzmommy

    but I wonder how Jesse Ventura feels about this???

  7. frangly

    Elle’s kind of…lacking curves, if you ask me. No waist, no butt, not much boobage.

  8. AmericanMcKrout

    Definitely no silicone- very classy. Kinda makes me feel like goin’ lesbian- for one day, at least!

  9. RichPort

    The Body???? There can be no “the body” without “the ASS”!!!! This protein deprived vomit addicts need to eat some Spanish food, something to get the junk back in the trunk. Sorry, I don’t see it. Gimme J-Ho or even Jessica Biel any day of the week over these two giant size 2′s…

  10. yasmin3000y

    its all Elle, shes the best, hottest, shes jus hott, hott, hott, oh and shes hott

  11. yasmin3000y

    shes hott

  12. Wait…

    Wait…

    Wait…!

    I thought I aws “the body”?

    http://www.VeryLiberating.com

  13. RichPort

    #6 HA!!!!!

  14. bigponie

    I look at these women and I know there is a God.

  15. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest

    I’m sorry but I can’t get over the fact that Seal sprayed his love juice all up inside her. That would be a great porno tape though. It would we found at one of those sites named “Butt Ugly Guys Pork Supermodel Girls For YOUR pleasure!”

  16. jrzmommy

    Must be the day of cat fights among famous chicks. Reese Witherspoon apparently has said (about Jessic Simpson) “Creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, ‘I’m stupid, isn’t it cute?’ makes me want to throw daggers.”

  17. RichPort

    #15

    That’s because those German chicks don’t let silly little things like racism, attractiveness, or personal hygiene get in the way of attaining the biggest straw for the ol’ juicebox. Planning my trip to Germany as we speak…

  18. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    It’s just a fucking ad campaign! Klum didn’t write it herself…and for the record, my boyfriend’s mom is a former model who is now 43, looks 22 and better than both of those bitches.

  19. jrzmommy

    18: so that would make you……12? Why aren’t you at daycamp?

  20. LL

    Dammit, I was gonna do the Jesse Ventura bit. Oh well, good one, jrzmommy.

    I think Elle and Heidi should fight to the death. The giant Australian vs. the giant German. Pay-per-view. Think about it. It would be like Godzilla vs. Mothra, only with hot chicks. I mean, if Elle’s gonna make such a big freakin deal over it, just settle it like women instead of boring us with the bitchy back-and-forth. Two bitches go in, one comes out.

    As for odds, really, I don’t know. Elle’s 10 years older, but she looks like she’s still in awfully good shape, plus she’s got 3 inches on Heidi. But… Heidi’s younger and she’s been spending the last three years gestating and giving birth, which can make you mean. But Elle’s probably approaching menopause, so that makes you even meaner. Australians love a good brawl, but Germans can be vicious and sneaky. I don’t know, man, I think it’s running even right now. I can’t handicap properly without all the info.

  21. ImSuicidal

    @6 – Great!!!

    @15 – I wanted to do a, “but Klum is married to Justin Igger”- Thanks a fucking lot!

    #18 – Send us a picture (of your boyfriends MILF) preferably nekkid!!!

  22. andrewthezeppo

    Elle is “The Body” she’s been called that for years. And while I love Heidi and think she’s very cute and sweet and sexy, her hips are too damn big to be called “the body” Heidi is “the boobs” Elle is “the body”

  23. I think Heidi has a way better body.

    I think it’s arrogant of Elle to complain about such a petty little thing.

  24. la

    Isn’t Jesse Ventura “The Body?”

  25. Isn’t Elle also known as “Smelly Elle” because she reportedly has bad b.o.? I don’t expect she’ll litigate if someone wants to take that moniker.

  26. Binky

    I think I’m getting a cataract that spells out Splash News.

  27. LadybugDoes

    Who cares about this….We should be talking about why I cant take deoderant on the plane anymore!

  28. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    They can go on and fight it out in a big vat of baby oil.

  29. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    Man, it’s been so long since I’ve read/posted, it took me until post 27 to recognize a name.
    Anyone who has ever seen the pic of Elle in the ’86 SI swimsuit thing with the bamboo and black top knows who reigns supreme.
    What happened here?
    My puter had more viruses than a tiujana free clinic…

  30. yuckyfresh

    dude, post some naked pictures of heidi so we can do a real comparison!! are we losing scientific integrity here on the sf???

  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Hey, Sodomy_is_for_Girls, this site has been taken over by 14 year old British girls. All the cool kids went to a cool website that I can’t access from work. They left me behind to die in the trenches with the faggy British kids. Forest Gump would never do that. They should try to be more like Forest Gump.

  32. decal1028

    It’s Elle all the way, and that’s it for my boring post. Go away Heidi.

  33. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    Osh, I’ve got your back.
    Did you ever try my recipe for fruit roll-ups?
    The whole oral sex thing?
    Heidi Klum.
    (I don’t know how strict Edna made them about staying on topic…)
    There’s nothing wrong wtih 14-year old British girls…
    Unless you get caught…

  34. Clearly Princess Mimi of the Galactic Federation has precedence.

  35. herbiefrog

    #all i’m amazed that 35 of you have bothered to comment on this thread

  36. BoredStiff

    I’m amazed that all 36 of you have bothered to comment on this thread…SCLTC!!!!

  37. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Sodomy, one day I came home from work with a bag full of pastrami and peanut butter, and my panties all full of horny, and he asked me if we were having pastrami and peanut butter for dinner. So I let him watch football as I forlornly scrubbed the horny out of my panties, although it left a stain – just like the stain on my heart.

  38. pop

    joe simpson is the body in my mind!! or maybe it’s that he covets his daughter’s bodies…i’m confused..WWJD??

    http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

  39. jennah

    elle lost all credibility as THE BODY when she showed off her sagging little tits. TEAM HEIDI.

  40. Didn’t Jesse “The Body” Ventura take that name years before when he was a wrestler? Or maybe he gave that name to Elle to get her to give him a hummer one night after an all night coke binge at Danceteria.

  41. ae1986

    TEAM HEIDI

  42. After two kids anyone that looks like that can be called The Body.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  43. Tom Cruise = Cult Puppet

    TEAM BEYONCE. Neither one of those white girls have anything on her.

  44. Is “The Body” owned as a trademark, by either of these models? No? Then what about “Shut The Hell Up You Cunts” TM.

  45. BoredStiff

    So,,, that’s it? this is what we are left with going into the weekend? (depressing)
    SCLTC!!!!!!

  46. whodatiz

    I don’t know, man…
    she seems more of “lack of body” to me…where’s the tiny waist? where’s the firm round ass? Sure Beyonce’s got a little too much body, but come on. This is getting ridiculous.

  47. ElatedPornStar

    Where’s Donald Trump when you need him?

  48. Ivana Mandalay

    What the fuck does Donald Trump have to do with this?

    Thanks for ruining my girly wood.

  49. #19…wow that’s funny, cuz i just so happen to be a year and half older than my man, whose mom is older than mine. I’m 20, not 12. Not everyone waits til they’re about to go through menopause to have kids.

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