Heidi Klum promotes the ‘perfect’ breast-holding apparatus. Not counting me. (Obv.)

Heidi Klum unveiled Victoria’s Secret new bra “The Perfect One” in Los Angeles today, and I take immediate umbrage with this item’s claim. If it’s so perfect where’s the beer cozy? Xbox? Remote device that pops said bra open at the push of a button?! Seriously, Victoria’s Secret, it’s like you’re not even trying. I’m so taking this thing back. Just as soon as I figure out how to unhook it….

UPDATE: Little help?

Photos: Getty, Splash News
Tags: Heidi Klum