Heidi and Spencer need to get hit by a bus

March 24th, 2008 // 144 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt celebrated Easter by continuing their holiday tradition of posing for “candid” shots that make me want to throw a live wolverine at their heads. What the hell are the point of these pictures? Who actually thinks this shit is real? Besides Us Weekly. I mean, that’s not even Spencer’s niece. I see that midget at the bar all the time. Bastard still won’t tell me where he hides his pot of gold…


  1. sla

    These two exist so that no matter how pathetic or useless or vapid we become, we can take heart in knowing that that there are two douchebags that are bigger than the douchebag that would be created if all the douchebags on this site were joined into one big bag of douchiness.

  2. lele

    What I like more than photo number 6 where they are about to get it on in bunny ears is photo number 7… jack ass for some reason has picked up bimbo and if you look behind them you see his niece’s foot. Yup, running on concrete right next to a big metal pole… i hope they never reproduce.

  3. lipper

    They make me feel good and right about life..

    .. because they are such jerk offs and their stupidity makes me feel giddy inside. Feels real good. ‘Cept the part where my skin crawls. All good!

  4. Gross

    They look so fucking stupid. I don’t care if they’re making money I would be so embarassed. Also, if I see one more cover of US Weekly with either lauren or heidi on it I’m probably going to blow up their headquarters. Seriously, thats a threat.

  5. mkolsen

    spencer suffers from douchebagitis..

  6. These two must be Mormons or Brother and Sister

    At least she’s wearing hooker shoes.

  7. veggi

    I wish they would have been a bit more religious and handled poisonous snakes..

  8. Gits

    It’s tragic. Her mouth could fit both balls and cock – while erect. Yet the only sex they have involves her jazz hands disappearing into his ass. And that’s only when she wants him to say the right things during an interview.

  9. Candy Man Can

    I hope all the Peeps that she has in that Easter Baster turn into Creeps (Giant Monster Rabbits) on Halloween and kill them both.

  10. Angela

    So that’s supposed to be his niece? I thought it was his secret child. She looks EXACTLY like him.

  11. The funniest part is that Spencer molested the kid later that day.

  12. HoHwPoV

    Seriously any piece of her he is getting can’t be worth looking this stupid? Can it? Is any piece of ass anywhere worth looking like a moron all the time?? I just can’t believe it would be worth it … there is no dick out there splendid enough for me to do anything like he does …

  13. Mary Cheney

    “(words spoken from a bi-guy)”

    Now that’s just gluttony. Pick a hole and stick with it.

  14. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    plastic douche fucker…
    vapid plastic douche fucker…
    no, that still doesn’t capture the essence of these two. i’m at a loss.
    vapid plastic ass-douche fucker… am i getting closer?

  15. @64 How about giant vapid plastic ass-douche fucker??

  16. Hemlock Queen

    Fucking famewhores with their stupid plastered dummy grins on their faces. I’d like to run in there with a chainsaw. Asswipes. Candid my ass.

  17. beth

    she has had so much plastic surgery she doesnt even look human anymore..that pic with her mouth wide open she looks like a who from who-ville…what the heck these people are assholes!

  18. Hey Veggi, that wasn’t me above. And I didn’t know it was YOU trying to troll Randal, was funny though.

    All I have to say is I hope she develops an alcohol problem, at least the photos will be funnier..

  19. Summer Kat

    I hate these two. No more posts about them please.

  20. Auntie Kryst

    @64 Meh, admittedly over the top, but how about…

    Lord Shallowton Fawke and Lady Vapidia Cuntia of the Grand Duchy of New Douchefuckland?

  21. stella-k

    They`ve actually made themselves look even more retarded than their valentines pics..I didnt think that was possible.

  22. bob

    This reminds me of donnie darko but even creepier

  23. NY Ted

    I’d still like to fuck Heidi up the ass before Fish threw her in front of a bus though…!!!

  24. Veroonica

    What is WRONG with her. She poses like a retard getting ready to go down on a horse.

    Christ. That kid looks like a PhD candidate compared to her.

  25. Maz

    I don’t think that’s Heidi? I mean it’s a douchey as her, but I think maybe that’s really not her. Or she’s just had WAY too much surgery.

  26. ladylindsay


  27. cm

    that POOR POOR child….

  28. YesAndNo

    51 = hilarious

  29. sherry

    are you sure thats hiedi it doesnt really look like her….that is weird…but i’d swear that it wasnt heidi

  30. m

    There are no word strong enough that could describe how these two drive me angry. I don’t know why, I see them and I could just punch them in the face until I pass out. What is wrong with them? God…

  31. BarelyStearn

    Douche and bag.

  32. Milky_Way

    Someone should tell them that they are not at the Sears Portrait Studio.

  33. Ted Mosby

    In good time she will pose for playboy.

  34. Champ

    wow. Apparently the only ones they are fooling are themselves. When did the Short Bus stop coming by their house? That’s pretty fucked up.

  35. malicious

    She is a pigeon toed dick.

  36. theredsnapper

    that chick is a fucking idiot.. and that guy is a total pussy to pose with bunny ears.. fuckin’ pansy. .

    the redsnapper

  37. Rowan

    Holy Shit. I thought the Valentine’s “candids” were nauseating enough. That guy is THE biggest douch on the planet – what guy would pose in bunny ears like that – get some self respect, you fucking toolbag. And she looks like a total fool with that moronic, fake-ass grin and plastic surgery. Too bad she can’t buy some self-esteem.


  38. Optimisticate


    Please wait for them to actually get HIT by the bus before posting any more pictures of this limp-dick and his leash-minder. I don’t know who is more zombified, him or Katie. Of course Katie has a reason to be, this wilting lily doesn’t.

  39. AJS

    These are pathetic. I thought Heidi just tragically lost a brother to a freak accident – she certainly doesn’t look like she’s mourning.

  40. Optimisticate

    I hope they read TMZ.

    //waving to LD and DB
    ///that’s Limp Dick and Douche Bag

  41. Alright!

    I don’t see anything wrong with these pics.

    They are merely telling us that the apocalypse is upon us. There’s no other explanation for how these people are “famous.”

  42. extracheeseplease

    I’m looking forward to the Heidi and Spencer Pratt 2009 calendar.

  43. atm

    Is that a rent-a-kid???

  44. no1justminda

    They are the biggest fucking losers on the planet! They think we’re taking pictures because we love them…but we’re taking pictures because they look so damn ridiculous!

  45. Clem

    The more I see of these pair of complete fucktards the more I want to smash their cuntish faces in with a house brick.

  46. LC

    earth to Sherry- YES it’s Heidi.

    Stupidest pictures, couple, people… EVER.


  47. Nikky

    It’s kinda obvious they’re posing considering they’re looking straight into the camera in every picture, so plastic.
    I wonder where they rented that kid from….

  48. Mama Lisa


  49. Mama Lisa


  50. Rob

    She needs to be thrown into a porno with Mandingo (wiki him)

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