Heidi and Spencer need to get hit by a bus

March 24th, 2008 // 144 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt celebrated Easter by continuing their holiday tradition of posing for “candid” shots that make me want to throw a live wolverine at their heads. What the hell are the point of these pictures? Who actually thinks this shit is real? Besides Us Weekly. I mean, that’s not even Spencer’s niece. I see that midget at the bar all the time. Bastard still won’t tell me where he hides his pot of gold…


  1. missj

    Then why post these pictures? This is exactly what they want!!! take this shit down

  2. The Clap


  3. BunnyButt

    I’d say something mean about them, but it’s not nice to pick on the severely retarded. I mean mentally challenged.

  4. woot

    They are fucking idiots, but I would still do awful things to Heidi if given the opportunity.

  5. taylor

    I wish the feroucious Rabbit would rip their fcuking heads off!

  6. combustion8


  7. combustion8

    jesus look at that mouth in pic #3, you could park a bus in it.

  8. Non-Poster

    They keep posing for these because you keep posting them. Stop the madness. If I see Heidi with her mouth open in that stupid Jessica Simpson way one more time, I’m putting a lion’s head in it. Wait, what?

  9. Guy


    (words spoken from a bi-guy)

  10. MickeS

    Why does she have her clothes on?

  11. Timba-lake

    They are both laughing all the way to the bank. Sure, they are making idiots of themselves, and are harming any long term career that they might want to have. But in the short term, the $$$ is rolling in. Make it while you can, because in a couple of years, we will want to see them die with Paris, KK, and other celeb whores who add ZERO value to our national landscape.

  12. Jumpin_J

    Let me drive the bus, OH PLEEEEEZE let me drive the bus. The Congressional Medal Of Valour is all mine at last!

  13. Auntie Kryst

    Not that I want to miss the upcoming summer, but a part of me wishes I could speed up the clock. I can’t wait to see these fuckers’ Kwanza photos.

  14. Guy

    I’m going to have to come back in for a second comment.

    This photoset just makes me RAGE. How can a presumably straight guy degrade himself so much like this? Sure hes getting money for it but he should have put his foot down on wearing the bunny ears.

    Americans are copying us Brit’s in a way. In the UK trashy tabloid magazines often have these elaborate fake photosets of couples like Katie Price (Jordan) in fancy dress and shit.

  15. Trover

    Is she wearing white chicklets on her nails?

    They both suck hard. Seriously. Neither are attractive, neither have any talent, yet here they are Fish. Stop putting these losers up on your site.

  16. scru mi speling

    I know people like this. They have to document every fucking second of their attention needy lives and then they e-mail the pictures to you once a week.

    “Here we are at blah blah with blah blah for blah blah”. ARRRRRRGGG! Fucking spare me, jebus fucking crap it makles me want to take picture of myself taking my morning dumps just so I can send it to them.

    “Here’s me taking a shit on Monday morning, here’s hubby taking a shit of Monday evening ( he doesn’t eat enough fibre).”

    Enough already with these self important loosers. It’s not just celebrities it’s a fucking personality defect called attention whoritis and it’s fucking nauseating.Its nmost commom among public figures for obvious reasons but, sadly most of us have people like this in our lives and we just can’t find the right way to say “GET LOST!” (and they’ll neve pick up on your inumerable hints)

  17. gotmilk?

    who the fuck would let their toddler near these two?

    picture 6 is truly disgusting. they know Easter is a religious holiday right, not a chance to put on bunny ears in hopes of getting Hugh Heffner’s attention?

  18. scru mi speling

    I forgot to add

    …and they always having those fucking cheesy smiles plastered on their faces. They couldn’t take a candid picture if their lives depended on it.

  19. kirsten dunst

    da ah hahahahahahaha.

    ah hahahaha.

  20. veggi

    Awww, they’re sweeter than Yoohoo.
    Cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

    *throws up*

    I agree #14 Guy. I would punch any man that wore bunny ears. Unless he bought me a shot of whiskey.. Then I’d just laugh behind his back.. and then punch him..

  21. fax

    WTF America! What is this? Who are these people?

  22. fakesimba

    Wow…just, wow. Is it wrong to pray for cancer for the both of them?

  23. Billy Bones


  24. Auntie Kryst

    @17 More disturbing than letting a toddler near these two fuckballs are the pictures without the toddler. Where did she go? I can just see these two shits telling the little girl to stand off alone while they take some couples pics.

    @20 Here’s your Jameson, and watch the fists. I’m just wearing socks over my horns.

  25. jrz

    Dear Bear Trap Fairy:

    Please visit Heidi and Spencer……….very very soon.

    Thanks. All the best.

  26. deacon jones

    Nice fucking shorts.

  27. thegrayway

    Those two make me want to shove sharp knives into both eyes. Get them the fuck out of here.

  28. Ted from LA

    MR. FISH,

    Ronald Reagan

  29. JC

    Seriously why do you even put these jackasses on your site….LAME!!

  30. scru mi speling

    A bus? Superfish you are being FAR too kind. How about a train? An active grenade? A nuclear missile? Oprah’s ass? A huricane? The fist of God? Another ugly stick? A lawsuit from the public? Rosie O’donells’s ass?

    Come now there are much biggger, better, and deadlier things these A-holes could get hit with than a bus. Kids ride buses, many of them are bright yellow, they usually travel at modest speeds and they just aren’t suited to destroy this kind of heinous douchery.

  31. Natalie

    Funny how they forgot to take the tags off the bunny and the basket.

  32. Fehgelah

    She’s a horse-face drippy cunt bag. Those ears are too funny. Like she needs to be any uglier!?!? Your big stupid mouth can neatly hold my hot steamy turd. PLEASE kill yourselves!! PLEASE!!!

  33. Spencer: Ha! We fooled ‘em again Heidi!

    Heidi: Do these shoes make my legs look fat?

    Spencer: That fake breaking up thing, then our unique ability to pose candidly, I mean it’s not our fault we’re so photogenic, right babe?

    Heidi: These new boobs feel really small in this dress.

    Spencer: You’re probably right, tupperware tits. I bet we get the cover of People next week. So awesome!

    Heidi: I want a carrot. And a sugar cube. And someone to brush my mane, um, I mean hair.

  34. Jumpin_J

    #15: Just a reminder, the site’s called the SUPERFICIAL (becuase you’re ugly) for a reason. Duh.

  35. Mrs. ED

    These pics look like Spencer made a visit for a day out at the retard asylum.
    Here’s your ears Heidi…now go jump around like the brain damaged skank you are..

  36. Sara

    The grusome twosome!

  37. sharpeidude

    These two fuckos definitely have some mental issues going on. Can’t wait until they release a “sex tape” of them together. It’ll probably be one of the best choreographered films out there.

  38. Toolboy

    They need to get hit by a bus alright, a prison bus transporting the bunny raping Los Bunny Fuckas gang to prison…
    Never have I wanted to donkey punch someone so hard or so often. I’d still bang Heidi, but only if I knew it would make her mad.

  39. gotmilk?

    wow, she’s obviously still very upset about the death of her step-brother. these two are the biggest shit stains. and those shoes – what the crap are those?!

  40. I bet Spencer is quite familiar with eggs. The vibrating kind.

  41. veggi

    @24- hahaha @ the sock horns!!

    PS: dammit FRIST!! You’re right!! I didn’t even spell Randal right!!

    PSS: Has anyone ever heard these two talk? I can only imagine her high pitched 6 year old voice….. and he must have “that’s fantabulous” in his daily vocabulary..

  42. loachcrulch

    It’s funny how angry people get when these two get a post. I personally enjoy the pics…they’re hilarious! More gaping mouth please!!

  43. 23apples

    Holy shit, her mouth looks like a cartoon character’s in that main picture. Such a strange looking person

  44. riotgrl

    Her mouth is always hanging wide open, she looks like a retard. Sexy?? Nope. Desperate and stupid? Oh yeah.

  45. veggi

    42- even his hair is mad at him for that fucking part.. if ever there was a douchefucker..

  46. cj

    i hate them!!!!!!!!!!! get a life!!

  47. Jrz

    If only they could have shot these photos, sans the kid, in minefield.

  48. Jumpin_J

    Veggi (#41): Never heard them speak, but to hear Heidi sing is like the heavens parting and angels soaring, then taking a look at her and vomiting hard.

    For your sampling of heaven but don’t eat beforehand:

  49. cj

    i hate them!!!!!!!!!!! get a life!! Heidi, if your so consumed on you, and what you look like all the time, next time pick a better dress( although i’ll give you credit, the fakeness is actually covered this time). and spencer…your just a douche bag..i could kick your A$$.

  50. lazy pants

    They’re actually Donkey ears. Hey world it’s International ASS Day and here are your ASS day embassadors; King and Queen Assface.

    Seriously though these asstards are fucking useless, lookit you fucking carrot eating donkeys, you’re supposed to carry the kid on your backs. Fucking worthless mules. Even for donkeys these creatures are fucking hideous. Go back to the petting zoo douchebags.

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