Heidi & Spencer Are Broke

September 24th, 2010 // 82 Comments

FACT: Gay men love breasts, too.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are reportedly living in his mother’s beach house after pissing all their money way only to find out absolutely no one wants to hire them anymore because they wasted their last fume of credibility pretending to end their fake marriage. RadarOnline reports:

“But the U.S. magazines are not really that interested in them anymore and they are becoming increasingly difficult to deal with. A lot of the editors know that the recent split story was a complete sham and they realize that their readers can see through it all now too.
“Spencer thought the shaving off his beard stunt would make a lot of money but he kind of blew it by releasing footage of him shearing it on YouTube.
“Heidi believes that they should be getting paid a lot more money and she has become really demanding now too,” the source said.
“The reality is that they earned a lot of money but did not invest it wisely, spent way too much, and now they are in trouble.”

I don’t really have to anything say here. I just thought it’d be nice to cheer everyone up this morning.

*inhales deeply*

Like a coffee and beeje without getting sued for it. Goddamn, it’s great to be alive. Whee!

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. THE REAL TAB

    AGAIN? Say it isn’t another pubilicity stunt? But they are the best of fuck buddies I bet.

    • I have a feeling it’s another publicity stunt. Anything to keep themselves in the spotlight. Know what they say right? Any publicity is good publicity.

      If they are broke, couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair. Maybe Heidi can become a porn star or call girl to support Spencers pimp lifestyle.

  2. Gallo

    Bullshit. They’re everywhere I look, unfortunately, I’d love to get a good dose of schadenfreude over this, but they clearly still have cash rolling in from media that caters to idiots.

  3. THE REAL TAB

    “that there readers”

  4. Deacon Jones

    He looks like the gay rocker in “Wayne’s World”

  5. Photoshop Police

    Good! and EFFF THEM!!!

    Now stop giving them undeserved press and maybe they’ll actually try to get a REAL job. Knowing them, those leeches will end up on welfare.

  6. Cock Dr

    Weren’t they going around bragging about how much $ they had spent on the girl’s “singing” prospects? Didn’t they dump a shitload of cash down that black hole?
    The guy is hopeless. Things are a little bit brighter for the FrankenHeidi as she can do porn, or waitress at Applebee’s.

    • THE REAL TAB

      Don’t forget stripping, as she has all the prereq’s for the job – implants and other plastic surgeries

  7. Sorry, but as hard as I try to believe they are broke (jumping up and down on the inside) I’m just not buying it. I hope I’m wrong. The only thing that keeps them from lying is having their mouths stuffed with penis.

  8. SubPoop

    Further proof that the terrorists *really* hate us– they continue not killing people like these.

  9. JD

    Should be getting paid a lot more money for… what, exactly?

  10. TC

    There is always triple X porn for Heidi to make a buck.

    • Gallo

      What makes you think she can act well enough to pull that off? It would be as exciting and animated as watching a clip of someone jizzing on a crazy-proportioned mannequin.

      That said, if she hugged her knees and cried after the dude finished, I might be bothered to pirate that.

    • So . . . . um . . . . you watch porn for the acting?

      • Gallo

        Yeah. Not the actual plot– just like you I skip forward if the director is cruel/stupid enough to add a narrative beyond “these people are fucking.” I’m talking about the acting DURING sex– you know that the girls aren’t actually into it, right? They’re actually thinking about the check they’ll get in a couple of hours, or wishing that they could take a smoke break or go have another snort. Heidi would be worse than the most disinterested porn actress you’ve ever seen. It would be more erotic to watch someone hump a RealDoll. Or a lilac bush.

    • You know, you make a valid point. However, looking at some of the “actors” that get cast in these movies, I’d probably have a hard time not thinking about the check myself.

  11. Rimba

    That’s a damn shame, ’cause now I see that Heidi has some big ass nostrils. She should go to a surgeon and get those fuckers fixed. But I guess that would cost a pretty penny, which they now don’t have.

  12. Bunny

    dear superficial writer, thanks so much for the blissful sendoff to my weekend.

  13. Lady Blah Blah

    Someone wrote a comment the other day in response to yet another post about Mr. & Mrs. Douche, and suggested that it would be a good idea to insert a firecracker into Spencer la Douche’s penis and light it. He’d have to be knocked out first, and it would be most fun to wait till he wakes up before lighting it.

    Something needs to be done about him. If John Gotti was alive I bet if someone told him that Spencer said he was a lousy wop he’d have Spencer shot in the buttocks or beaten with a baseball bat or something.

    I hate Spencer. I bet he’s a tea bagger.

    • Max Hardcore

      I love how bad tea party people get under your skin. Your pain is delicious.

      • Mohammed's Taint

        @Max My sentiments exactly! And LadyBlahBlah: you fantasize about brutal murder of an insignificant cartoon character. Yet, our demagogue-in-chief continues to pound us in the ass, but that’s aiight. Those who speak out are the problem. Makes sense!

      • Lady Blah Blah

        I don’t like Obama either, major fail, but tea baggers are bottom of the barrel as far as fail goes. Palin and O’Donnell? Talk about cartoon characters.

      • Mohammed's Taint

        @Lady Ah yes, you’re ‘above the fray’, you can’t be labeled, etc etc. What, exactly (besides Palin, who did not lead the charge, but glommed on later) is so “bottom of the barrel” about the tea party movement?

    • Mohammed's Taint

      Lemme guess…you voted for Nader?

      • Lady Blah Blah

        Were you protesting when Bush lied to get support for the invasion of Iran? Did you protest when the economy tanked under Bush? What’s bottom of the barrel about the tea party movement is that it was silent when Bush & Co. were doing things that resulted in many, many deaths and permanent injuries of US service men and women and Iraqi and Afghanistani civilians. What’s bottom of the barrel is that tea partiers find inspiration from the moronic liars on Fox News.

      • ¢®@¶

        Hey Lady Blah Blah…youre a moron yourself, saturated in your emotional nightmare.

        What invasion of Iran? Economy tanked when the libs took over the house and senate in 06. Deaths and injuries to servicemen and women? You mean the ones that knew what part of their job could entail when THEY SIGNED ON THE DOTTED LINE…and arent crying about it now and FUCKING DETEST pieces of shit like you thinking you speak for them?

        If youre so worried about innocent men and women (and children to post the proper cliche), how about protesting the killers of the 12000 people a year that die at the hands of illegal aliens in the USA as a result of drunk driving, domestic violence and drug related crimes? YEA…12000. Thats more than everyone combined thats died since we were attacked in 2001. SO START WITH THE INNOCENTS AND LET THE MILITARY WORRY ABOUT THEIR OWN ACTIONS. They dont need your worthless, self righteous pity.

        As far as afghani & iraqi citizens, too bad. They should have grown a pair, handed over who we asked for and it would have all been over with, but they cant. Too busy living in the 5th century BC and being scared of ghosts, spirits, religious fables…as well as depriving women and children of their rights to education and a normal life of freedom. Fuck em.

        Youre such a perfect product of the abc/cbs/pbs/cnn environment its not even funny…a walking cliche, full of flat out stupidity with your tears on standby waiting for the next bullshit reason to cry or fake giving a shit. Double up on those meds corky…somethings not right with you.

      • Mohammed's Taint

        @ blah Yeah, nice non-answer. Bush was a big spender, but Obama has left him in the dust. He has grown the national debt more in his first 18 months than all other presidents did in their tenure – COMBINED. Unemployment continues to rise, housing sales are at a record low, and the gov’t takeover of healthcare has yet to be realized.

    • Max Hardcore

      @ lady blah..

      so delicious your pain is, especially topped with the inability to give valid examples of your hate.

      The name calling and juvenile are like sweet nectar to your ignorance ~slurp~

  14. stevebeagle

    fuckem both in the nieck

    • what’s a nieck?

      It must be some kind of hole, or you couldn’t fuck it. and both men and women obviously have it, or you couldn’t fuck both of them in it.

      Or is “the nieck” a place, like “The Louvre”?

      Maybe I’m overthinking this and stevebeagle is just illiterate.

    • I have no earthly idea what a nieck is either. However, since you say you can’t fuck anything without a hole, would you kindly explain the whole titty fucking thing to me then?

      • fap

        Well you make an honorary “hole” by squea…wait, you didn’t actually want me to explain how it’s done at all, did you ::confusedface::

    • Umm, no. I do know how it’s “done”. I was merely pointing out that it appears you can fucking something that doesn’t actually have a hole. Good lookin’ out though. Nice to know the help is there if I need it.

    • Oops, typo. My bad.

  15. KIKI

    You are correct Fish. Gay men are more obsessed with boobage than straight men! The only guy who ever told me I needed a boob job WAS GAY!

  16. I do not believe anything I read about these two. Pretty much everything you read about them is actually the opposite. Since they claim they are broke, they are probably swimming in money.

  17. anonymous

    Wow…Spencer really believed he’d make up a buck just by shaving off his beard?

    Someone should tell him the entire world would pay a buck for him to cut off his own head.

  18. Max Hardcore

    The offers still on the table Heidi, if you dont mind working in the same place as your husband. No worries though, youll only see him after the shoot when hes doing cleanup or after you are finished in the bathroom.

  19. Gando

    The positive thing is that they’re successful in being broke.

  20. Nero

    She should grow more chest hair to make him really smile.

  21. Eric

    Maybe he should have sold his face pubes on EBay.

  22. Jay

    They’re both idiots. Douche = broke in Horrywood. Like all good fame whores, they’ll earn their way out of the hole. Maybe they’ll actually be smart enough to hire someone like Britney’s dad to manage their money. OR, is it all a publicity stunt?

  23. The Lohans all suck

    Hmm – maybe not spending $20k/mo for a massive ass beach rental would have been wise?

    Stupid fucks – one can only hope its true and they take each others lives soon.

  24. Bullshit. Another publicity stunt.

    Have they never heard the story of the little boy who cried wolf too many times?

    Stop reporting on them.

    .

  25. ““Spencer thought the shaving off his beard stunt would make a lot of money but he kind of blew it by releasing footage of him shearing it on YouTube.”

    He blew it by releasing footage? Forgetting spencer for a minute, the guy who wrote this actually thinks it WAS a viable money making plan, except that he blew it.

    So at least TWO people think that properly executed, Spencer would be paid big money to shave his beard…Spencer and the article writer.

  26. horsefaceskank

    they were banned awhile back for slander & trying to press false charges ..
    if doc’ frankenstein didn’t die she’d prob’ly be suin’ him too …..
    forget stripping ..
    her legs are waaaaaaaaay too small &
    head too large ..
    no photoshop staged shots at the club ..
    plus she can’t dance …sing …
    clumsy , masculine, awkward
    & very dislikeable ..
    for them it’s porn , snuff
    or slingin’ chitlins back at the bumfuk trailerpark .
    reality check …DUNZO ..

  27. Yaaaaaay (doing endzone dance) bring on the lesbian sex tape!!!! Thanks fish this did indeed cheer me up :D Was starting to feel a bit sad over lindsay but this is fuckin magic~

  28. MarkM

    Please dear God…Two words…murder suicide!

  29. Spencer could have made a small fortune if he aired a Pay Per View of him shaving … his carotid artery or jugular vein open until he died. Many Many dollors …

  30. Matthew

    DAMN IT FISH STOP POSTING MR.AND MISS DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. CG

    ENOUGH OF THESE TWO!!!!
    NO MORE you stupid fucking fucker!!!
    No one cares
    NO ONE AT ALL

  32. Barry

    See…..good things can happen.

  33. Mansk

    The guy was completely fucking stupid enough to think shaving his beard would earn him enough money to continue to roll with the big dogs.. What a simpleton.

  34. Heidi's Gash

    Why don’t you people love me?

  35. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
    Quavis
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of gay men – doesn’t he look like RICHARD SIMMONS????

  36. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
    wth
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude is friggin ugly. Long hair short hair whatever, Heidi needs to move on to some better talent.

  37. Al

    Apparently Heidi has stopped wearing her nose bandage, at least in public. Somebody should tell her that the nose bandage must distract attention from her chin, because in the non-nose bandage pictures, her chin looks grossly humongous.

  38. anonymous

    Well Heidi will always have the porn career option. she wouldn’t even need to do hardcore; she could do softcore like anne nicole smith and make a ton of money.

    spencer on the other hand will be trying out for I Love Money 5.

  39. Slab

    Obama will bail them out.

  40. Marcus

    Didn’t know Richard Simmons had a son….

  41. God

    No reason she should be broke. I’d happily pay $10k for use of her snatch. $15k if I get to murder the poof afterward.

  42. The Man

    I would give her 10 bucks to slide my cock between those tits and blow a messy cream pie on her cunt!

  43. Cpm

    It’s a good thing Heidi got all her plastic parts done before they ran out of dough. Now she’s well equipped to make a living on her back. She already has a pimp.

  44. Amanda

    let’s see how much they ”love each other” without any money:D

  45. IDontCare

    Good. I’m glad. Nobody cares about you, and you’re only famous for being idiots so I hope you learn to live a real life, with limits, like normal people.
    If that stupid ugly Barbie doll didn’t waste all her money on getting fake tits and an ugly plastic face, maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess.
    I also smell a publicity stunt though…. that makes me hate them both just that much more

  46. supashan

    Bahahahaaaahaa!! That first picture cracks me up!! Look at Spence resting his head on Heidi’s ENORMOUS boobs!! “Oh honey…at least these are paid for…”why don’t you just get naked already .. I heard Jenna Jameson is looking for a girl to do her next girl on girl scene for her next film …..”i really need that ferrai”..and a f’n haircut! Who do these two think they are………c’mon..cut the BS..we all know its a publicity stunt..right?

  47. Nupi

    Spencer looks like Richad Simmons in this pic.

  48. Jim Jones

    Poor them. They have to mooch off their mommy and live in a crappy beach house.

  49. Spencer & Heidi Suck

    I hate these fucking turds. I’ll be glad when their 15 minutes is up.

  50. Dinkus

    They could be broke. Neither one comes from a rich family right? Spencer and Heidi homeless prob could be a giant reality hit. Neither has one does anything, so there’s literally nothing to hang anything from. Britney had a music career, Lohan had a film career, Paris has a family name, but is also close to disappearing. If you’re not at least one tv, you don’t have long. Heidi can at least move on to a guy with money. Spencer is going to discover just how worthless he really is. Of course, she’s been with him this long, but one whiff of poverty and she’s gone.

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