Heidi Montag’s Dead Doctor Was Hilarious

November 29th, 2010 // 127 Comments

This story actually hit late Thanksgiving Eve, but was too good to get lost in the mix.

The following are emails sent to Heidi Montag (above — I think) from her late plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, who, when he wasn’t pushing for her to get more “injectables,” was constantly trying to rope his Frankenstein into doing publicity for him. Via RadarOnline:

- “Not sure if you are following me on twitter, but could you mention to your followers that they may want to follow me? My web guy keeps bugging me to get more active in twitter.”
- “Can you wear the dr frank ryan eco-spa wear along with a dr frank ryan T that day? They are perfect for lounging or yoga or working out etc. I will bring some with me so you can change into them, if you donr mind.”
- “I need the modern- day marilyn monroe to sing happy birthday like she did to JFK! :)”

For extra added hilarity, each mail was signed XOXO. No joke. In the meantime, Heidi has since launched a campaign blaming Dr. Ryan for down-playing the negatives of turning her into a, somehow, even more lifeless version of Barbie:

“I definitely think I should have been way more informed,” Montag said. “I think that doctors should really walk you through all aspects of it, not just the glamorous side of it. Doctors, it’s like they’re selling you cookies or something.

Jesus, you can practically hear her brain clenching on that one. But, seriously, if that last sentence was actually the case, Jessica Simpson would spend her entire day eating said cookies as they’re being lipo’d out her ass by the doctor who just sold them to her. She’d literally never leave the chair. “Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not…”

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Jessamaka
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that Brooke Hogen?

  2. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Wtf people, Brooke looks very hot and pretty here, kind of like Cameron Diaz with tits

  3. freebie

    She looks good. I don’t understand why people think she looks like a guy. Women come in all sizes and shapes and she has a nice shape and her size isn’t bad either.

  4. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Mena
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah. These are pics of Brooke Hogan. Fail!

  5. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    BENWAW
    Commented on this photo:

    GREAT BODY, BUT SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN

  6. Stephanie

    Oh god, did Heidi’s doctor give her a sex change from beyond the grave?

  7. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    mdiz
    Commented on this photo:

    Fail… You useless tit… I’d punch your mother, but her dick is bigger than mine…. Sorry man…That’s just monday talking…..

  8. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    10lbsofdanglingflesh
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says…that chick is hot. I’d hit it. Repeatedly.

  9. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    fatguyinalittleshirt
    Commented on this photo:

    butter face, but bangin body! need my helmet and climbing rope to scale this one!!!

  10. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    kmb
    Commented on this photo:

    the file is even named brook hogan.

  11. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Dnile
    Commented on this photo:

    The pictures are of Brooke Hogan (Hulk Hogan’s daughter), not of Heidi Montag…nice “reporting”.

  12. Melissa

    Yes, this IS Brooke Hogan, and if some of you had a brain large enough to know how to figure shit out, you’d click on the Brooke Hogan tag and see that he previously mentioned Brooke has started doing the same type of stupid beach themed photo shoots Heidi does. For some reason he assumes his readers remember anything he writes, but at least he’s aware that most GUYS can’t even tell Brooke and Heidi apart which pretty much reinforces my belief that in He-man-land, women don’t need faces.

  13. thekevbot

    she kind of looks likes a fat mannish cameron diaz

  14. I could tell Brooke Hogan and Hedi apart easily. Brookes penis is tucked between her thighs, while Heidi is so far up her penis’ ass (Spencer Pratt) she can see with his eyes. This whole Heidi blaming the doctor thing is a Spencer ploy. Too obvious. She’s too dumb to come up with this herself.

    As for Brooke Hogan, she looks half decent here. Really, she looks like a she here and isn’t in bad shape. Oooooooooo imagine her and Kloe Kardashian in a fight!!!??? That’d be Pay Per View MADNESS!!! Vince McMahon, if you do this I’m suing your ass!!!

  15. thizzer

    why is brooke hogans picture linked to this article??

  16. Elle

    This isn’t Brooke Hogan, this is what Heidi and Spencer melted together looks like.

  17. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    charles
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish we were lovers and we could make love with each other in that bikini

  18. She's a hot piece of ass

    Brooke looks hot; I’d pound her mound for hours while she screamed & screamed…

  19. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Nick Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    If she had more of an ass she’d be hott…

  20. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Aurealous
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Brooke Hogan’s picture on a Heidi Montag article?

  21. Megan

    Why are guys commenting on Celebrity blogs anyway….Go watch football & get laid. Borrow some of Brooke’s balls.

    • amazed grace

      because, dope, there’s more guys on here than there are grrls.

      it’s a daily bikini thing. you wouldn’t understand.

      unless, of course, you’re a carpet connoisseur…

  22. Lio

    I’d still hit it..

  23. amazed grace

    is that heidi hogan?

  24. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Yomama
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats Brooke Hogan not Heidi… like it really matters…

  25. AliG

    Heidi is a grown woman (or something) and consented to all her retarded surgery so to try and shift all this on her deceased surgeon while “leaking” private emails he sent her in confidence to suggest he needed her to promote him is the epitome of tasteless declasse tactics.

  26. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Kenny
    Commented on this photo:

    Brooke has always been hot, remember this!

  27. stench orifice

    That dude would make an awesome full back.

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